Aetna Springs Harvest Carnival

by Casey Cox

The 2nd Annual Aetna Springs Harvest Carnival took place Oct. 30 under sunny skies in Pope Valley. It was bigger and better than last year thanks in part to a parent from the local area who placed a free advertisement in the St. Helena Star. About 20 families from the Northern California church came as well as 10 families from the local community. There were various games for the children, a hot dog lunch, and a costume contest, as part of the afternoon festivities. There were about 50 children and 30 parents in all.

Because of our involvement in the various advisory committees at the local school, we have been able to develop good relationships with many people in the community. Kent Stuth, Aetna Springs Golf Course manager, has been cultivating friendships for several years and is now running for the School Board. He started out three years ago on the School Site Council. Mary Larson and Casey Cox are now members of the School Site Council which oversees school spending. Robin Cox serves on the Community Services committee, which fundraises for school activities. Casey is also on a committee which is helping the school obtain a $65,000 computer system. By volunteering our time and showing ourselves to be responsible members of our community, we have gained a lot of trust from local residents. We have found that when our blessed children excel academically and are well-liked by their classmates, their parents really respond to our values and show an interest in getting to know us better. So through the second generation, we are reaching the parents.

The Harvest Carnival and similar events have helped the people we've met feel welcome and comfortable at Aetna Springs. At the carnival, parents manned the game booths where the children earned tickets for prizes. Joel Larson and Kim Dodge put their catering skills to work as they prepared and served lunch for 80. The prize booth was one of the most crowded as the children clamored to trade in their tickets for various candy and toy prizes. Old friends had a chance to share in conversation and enjoy the costume contest while a few of the dads played a couple of rounds of golf.

Casey and Robin Cox would like to extend a warm thank you to all those parents who lent their support in various ways to make the entire event a success. A wonderful time was had by all and plans are already underway for the next event-which may be a winter carnival to be held indoors sometime around God's Day.

A True Parents' Thanksgiving at East Garden

Dr. Tyler O. Hendricks-NYC

This year saw the celebration of Thanksgivings east and west at the East Garden conference center. In August there was the celebration of chusok, the traditional autumn festival of Korea. Then on November 24 approximately 120 members from the New York area gathered again for the celebration of the American-style Thanksgiving, topped off with Reverend and Mrs. Moon each carving a turkey. We had the traditional fare of turkey with stuffing and cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potatoes, and on to the pumpkin pies.

Reverend Moon has always honored Thanksgiving as the event representing the suffering and victory of the Pilgrims in Plymouth, Massachusetts. In his earliest public speeches in America, 1972-74, Reverend Moon lauded the Pilgrims for their vision of building a righteous community of true faith in the new world. He compared them with Abraham of the Old Testament, being called out of their homeland for the sake of God's providence, crossing the troubled sea at the risk of their lives, and then enduring a bitter winter, saving their seeds for the spring planting even as dozens were dying. Virtually every family lost one or more of its members during that winter, as they had no shelter to protect them against the frigid New England weather. In the early 1970s, while most Americans were criticizing the government and the "sexual revolution" was in full swing, Reverend Moon called Americans to honor this heritage, and to revive the tradition of sacrifice for the future. In this sense, he has as much, if not more, right to celebrate Thanksgiving as any native-born American.

His words of praise for the Pilgrims and Puritans of New England, however, were tempered by a providential perspective. Their taking of dominion in the new world came at the price of the destruction of the Indian way of life and tribal societies, as well as countless thousands of Indian lives. The only way to redeem this sacrifice is to see it as a necessary, if tragic, aspect of God's providence for the sake of saving all mankind. If Americans today fail to live up to this historical destiny, the guilt of this destruction will be visited upon us.

Such theological reflections, however, we none in evidence this Thanksgiving, but rather it was a family occasion, as it is throughout America, but instead of football on television we celebrated with international singing of songs well into the night, until the moment True Parents wished us all good health on our ways home.

17th Annual Mr. & Miss University Pageant held in NYC

Combined report by Reverend Kathy Winings, Tony Devine, and Peter Ross-NYC

The Mr. and Miss University Pageant was founded by the Reverend and Mrs. Sun Myung Moon seventeen years ago in order to introduce a new concept of beauty, a beauty based on character and personality. While customarily hosted in Japan, the last three pageants were hosted in Korea, Moscow, and Beijing. On Sunday, December 4, it reached New York.

Representing their countries as ambassadors of goodwill, this year's 24 finalists represented the diversity of our global village with nations such as Croatia, Tanzania, Brazil, Korea, Japan, China, and Bangladesh proudly represented. The United States was represented by Miss Tweeran Verheyen, a junior at Marymount College, and Mr. Matthew Jones, a junior at Williams College.

The application process to qualify for the finals was a result of the efforts of the primary sponsor, the Collegiate Association for the Research of Principles (CARP). Each country or region then followed the application process in selecting the national finalists. In the interests of hosting a final event that was both entertaining and of appropriate length, the organizing committee decided on a maximum of 24 finalists.

The two other sponsoring organizations were: the Women's Federation for World Peace and the International Relief Friendship Foundation (IRFF). As an international organization of women, one of WFWP's concerns is to encourage youth and young adults to get involved in social service. In America, a number of WFWP chapters have been active throughout the United States in sending aid to Rwanda.

IRFF became involved with this year's Pageant when the organizers decided to offer all proceeds from the event to support IRFF's shipment of much-needed medical equipment and medicines to Rwanda. IRFF will send these medical supplies to Rwanda, valued at over $500,000, by the end of December 1994, in order to contribute to the rebuilding of Rwanda's devastated hospital system. Founded in 1975 by the Reverend and Mrs. Sun Myung Moon, IRFF has assisted and supported worldwide projects designed for long-term development assistance and has promoted cooperative programs in the field of education, agricultural management, technical training, and health care. IRFF is a Non-Governmental Organization (NGO) in association with the United Nations Department of Public Information (DPI). In this regard, it is appropriate to remember the wise exhortation of the Talmud: He who saves one life is considered as if he had preserved the whole world.

Recent studies have shown that today's young adults are genuinely concerned with many of the challenges facing humankind, not the least being those of a humanitarian and environmental nature. Here in America, the support for President Clinton's AmeriCorps and similarly motivated programs, are indications of this concern. The sponsors of the 1994 Mr. and Miss University Pageant sought to give full expression to these trends by combining a celebration of all the best talents exemplified by college students with their most essential concerns for the world around them. And so they thought it appropriate to put the noblest aspirations of this year's finalists into immediate context by dedicating this year's program to the support of international relief.

One of America's most venerable statesman, Benjamin Franklin once stated: God grant that not only the love of liberty but a thorough knowledge of the rights of [man may pervade all the nations of the earth, so that a philosopher may set his foot anywhere on its surface and say: "This is my country." The young men and women in attendance from Bangladesh, Brazil, Chinese Taipei, Hungary, Japan, Korea, Philippines, Russia, Slovenia, Tanzania, Tianjin-China, and the United States amplified Mr. Franklin's sentiment on an international stage and expressed their claim: "This is our world." In contrast to today's more despairing headlines, these young world citizens, rich in intellectual and artistic talent, affirmed the shared interests and common values of all people to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. While these rights are denied to many in the world due to war or deprivation the goodwill required to promote these ideals was amply demonstrated by these young men and women.

Hosted at the Manhattan Center, the Pageant was a colorful and entertaining international celebration. Representatives of many of the Permanent Missions to the UN of those countries represented in the Pageant were also in attendance. Official delegations from several Consulates in the New York area were also in attendance. To begin the program, Ambassador Jose Maria Chaves read a letter of welcome and support for the benefit from the office of the President of the General Assembly of the United Nations. Congressman Charles Rangel extended a warm New York welcome as well.

The task of selecting the ten finalists and the ultimate winners fell to a distinguished panel of judges representing the international diplomatic corps, academia, and the world of entertainment. Those who donated their time included: Ambassador Mario Nobilo, Permanent Mission of Croatia to the UN; Hon. Delois Blakely, Deputy-Mayor of Harlem; Dr. Jay Sexter, President, Mercy College, Dobbs Ferry, NY; Dr. Amina Gomaa, Professor of Arabic Languages at New York University; Dr. Joon Ho Seuk, President of the International Educational Foundation; Mr. Takeshi Furuta, President, Japanese CARP; Mr. Jeffrey Benson, Executive Director, Kirov Academy; and Mr. Yukinori Yao, international fashion designer. Under the astute and experienced chairmanship of Dr. Sexter, the judges reached their decisions in a gracious and timely manner.

The winners for the 1994 Pageant were:
Miss University - Miss Mona Mwakalinga (Tanzania)
Mr. University - Mr. Matthew Jones (USA)
First Runner-Up - Miss Julia Volovova (Russia)
First Runner-Up - Mr. Michale P. Mendoza (Phillipines)
Special Awards - Miss Syeda Farhana Towheed (Bangladesh)
Special Awards - Mr. Emerson Sonjor Biagioni (Brazil)
Friendship Award - Mr. Peter Vaihansky (Russia)

For many of the participants, this was their first visit to New York and so travel was a highlight. This included visits to the United Nations, the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, and the Metropolitan Museum of Art, among other places. The farewell banquet was held at Sylvia's in Harlem.

These college students not only exemplified their personal best, but in coming together in this international celebration they reaffirmed the hope for a better future. As Franklin D. Roosevelt said in his time: Today we are faced with the preeminent fact that, if civilization is to survive, we must cultivate the science of human relationships - the ability of all peoples, of all kinds, to live together, in the same world, at peace.

`Till Death Bring Us Together

by Camilo Ramirez-Laurel, MD

It is one year since my wife Noriko lost her five-year battle with breast cancer. The process of keeping faith-in offering Noriko and my love for Noriko-led me through a twisting and thorny path. The struggle has brought me closer to God. In writing this testimony, however, I want to pay tribute to my wife, and share a little of what I have experienced.

We began our family life while continuing to live in two different cities because we both had separate missions. Three months into our family life came the joyful news that Noriko was pregnant. Two weeks later we were shocked that Noriko had been diagnosed with breast cancer.

In the course of our five-year marriage and struggle against cancer, our faith in God, each other and ourselves would be challenged.

The inability to defeat this hideous illness was difficult for both of us. Noriko, however, was unyielding in her determination to live, but also uncompromising in her faith. My wife determined that to live, both of us had to have absolute faith. Also, in spite of how much Noriko hated the effects of chemotherapy, my wife did not voice any feelings of resentment or complaint against God.

I deeply questioned God in trying to accept that Noriko's destiny would be in His hands. Frustrated at the feeling of being powerless, and also careful not to allow anger or resentment to enter my mind, I pushed myself to do indemnity conditions. I remember two years ago going to the Washington, D.C. holy ground, Sunday after Sunday, in the bitter winter, before pledge. What began as a desperate prayer condition and an attempt to keep my heart pure, evolved into a personal and close relationship with God. I determined to maintain my faith pure and strong. It was very difficult to offer into God's trust my wife's destiny; however, I believed that not to freely accept life or death meant to jeopardize any possibility of God intervening on behalf of my wife. My responsibility was to pray for a miracle but to accept any outcome as the will of God.

Determined to live, Noriko persevered through many periods of disappointment. It was such a struggle to maintain faith and hope when the cancer would reappear after months or a year of vanishing in the scans and X rays. Noriko nevertheless kept fighting her own mind, and kept believing in God's love.

Finally Noriko and I were told the news that I had feared. Noriko's cancer had advanced too far, and the doctors had reached the end of their treatments. My wife had only a few more months to live, we were told. Noriko's reaction was typical of her spirit. Noriko somehow found the strength to continue to believe. Noriko kept fighting, but she also kept a pure and faithful heart towards God and True Parents. My wife passed into the spirit world a few days after the last doctor's visit.

To my surprise, after feeling that I had prepared well for Noriko's death, I suddenly and unexpectedly entered into a period of grieving.

My grief lasted for five months. It was both an experience in which I withdrew and alienated myself, and an experience in which I encountered very powerful and deep emotions.

Grieving, I came to understand, is not only a feeling of sadness but also another step in the realization that in a Blessing, the relationship is eternal. To accept this victory over the fear of death, is also to recognize the need to make an offering of all the feelings.

To lose a relationship as close as a spouse's is naturally painful and difficult. Yet, although in pain, one must not lose sight of the course of faith and the relationship with God.

Initially, as I grieved and longed for my wife, all that I felt was the feeling of emptiness and being alone. Also, there was a period in which I sought an explanation from God for the meaning of my wife's death. It was only after I remembered and accepted that I had committed myself to accept that whatever happened was the will of God, that I began to realize that I needed to make an offering of my feelings. To be grateful for the love shared with Noriko and all the suffering, was liberating. I not only feel close to God, but I can take pride in the fact that my faith and my commitment to God remain unshaken. It took many tears and prayers to get to this point. Yet once I accepted that I needed to be thankful, I realized that to hold back in regret or resentment is to lose the benefit of all the prayers and conditions offered.

To look back at my marriage and to remember Noriko's death is to consider deeply the meaning and value of our Blessing. I am very grateful. Our marriage has been intense and of short earthly duration, but we have shared thus far a rich and satisfying love.

In memory of Noriko, I like to think that God is proud of this woman. Noriko served the providence until her illness no longer allowed it. Noriko lived on earth with a sincere loyalty to True Parents, and passed over fighting with every ounce of energy that she had. At least to me, my wife is a mother of faith. A teacher who has inspired my life. Whatever I do, I hope to make Noriko happy; I want Noriko to look upon my actions and be proud in front of her new-found friends and co-workers-for I am proud of this beloved daughter of True Parents!

December 1994

When Your Heart Chills Out, Part 1

Is your prayer life as dry as saltines? Is your zeal for God near zero?

Are your providential ambitions out to lunch? All of us have experienced a dry spiritual life once in a while. But what happens if you're stuck in a killing drought that seems to go on forever?

I have known this. From being a workshop director and spiritual parent several times over, I found myself becoming someone with no desire-in fact an aversion-to witnessing. From being a passionate Principle lecturer, I saw myself becoming lukewarm and even reluctant to teach. My prayer life had long since been reduced to a trickle of perfunctory appeals. Whether towards God and True Parents or toward friends and family, my capacity to love seemed to be slowly fading.

I had gone through the usual remedies: workshops, prayer, study of Father's words, care for people. I was fortunate to be in a uniquely inspiring mission, involved in spiritual education and interaction with many enthusiastic new members. But divine words-True Parent's speeches, Sunday sermons, the Bible-slid off my heart as if it were made of teflon. Where compassion, concern and desire to give salvation should be I found only growing indifference and a fear of commitment.

When I reflected on my internal state I was frightened and sometimes to the point of panic. I felt like a hypocrite and a fraud. But I could numb out even these feelings in the routine of performing my duties and meeting others' expectations of me. Only in the presence of those who represented my responsibility to God-leaders, my wife and child, younger members- did the pain of my inner contradiction become acute. Even then I learned to cope by indulging in cynicism and comforting myself by thinking that so many others were the same as I.

Feelings need expression

What I have learned is that our emotional lives follow certain principles. One is that our original heart cannot flow and animate our emotional lives in a healthy way as long as there are old, stale feelings that are already filling us up and have not been allowed to be released. I call this "emotional constipation." These old feelings may have been called bad, taboo and unacceptable somewhere in the past. They are real feelings, however, and demand expression.

God intended that our feelings and desires should be expressed. The healthy way would be to let out the feelings around the time that they arise; we laugh, we cry, we shout, we sigh. Sometimes we would share feelings with others; at other times we would be content to share them with God. Once the feeling was expressed, we might realize the need to change something about ourselves or our situation or apologize for what we said or did. The point is, however, to let the feelings out, for two reasons. One is so that we can know the truth about ourselves and the world. The other is to reclaim these rejected feelings so that they can be harnessed to get constructive things done.

In an ideal world, we would not know unending frustration, sorrow or pain. In this fallen world, however, this is our tragic reality. Our natural process for dealing with these feelings is by airing them; crying or seeking comfort and insight. Once processed in this way we gain strength and wisdom to act responsibly. The same is true of corresponding feelings of fear, guilt, and anger. All of these have their healthy function, and once properly dealt with they bring the fruits of understanding and power to live a better life. Stifling our emotions

Our upbringings, however, often train us to stifle these feelings. We learn to pretend they are not there. Whether through workaholic activity or drug abuse, whether through loud music or food binges, whether through promiscuous sex or compulsive study, we find ways to medicate the feelings that constantly threaten to spoil our respectable facades and disrupt our tidy lives. These adaptations may have been necessary to survive at some point but they persist beyond their usefulness. One problem becomes that with all the energy we devote to keeping the demons within at bay, we may find little energy to give to constructive pursuits. Our capacity for love begins to evaporate, along with our passion for life. We care less and less about more and more.

In religious life, this can be aggravated by condemnation of our unacceptable feelings in the name of God or theological belief. Further, there is the premium placed on looking good and "fitting in"- with the community of faith. We want to be spiritually mature-truly beyond anger and resentment-so much so that we pretend to be there when we are not. We also hope that by starving the weeds of our unwanted feelings and fertilizing the crop of our desirable ones, our fallen nature will simply wither and die. This appears to work for a time, but the weeds will remain dormant as roots or seeds to spring to life again when conditions are right. Or, using the constipation metaphor, we feel sluggish and vaguely ill as the toxins infiltrate our system.

In the next in this series of articles, I shall explore the ineffectiveness of many of the tactics we use to cope with our undesirable feelings. On this basis we shall discuss the solution in subsequent articles.

Unconventional Child Rearing

Contributed by Gerry Robinette, Tijeras, NM

Gerry says, "These methods may or may not work with your children." But they are certainly worth trying. Thanks!

1. My wife and I had the habit of buying our three sons small toys, usually hot wheel cars, when we went to the local variety stores. However, if we were in a hurry, we would forego the ritual. Well, our middle son would throw terrible temper tantrums. We tried swatting him on the behind once, but that didn't work. Talking him through the tantrums didn't work either. Finally, out of desperation, I decided to try something different.

The next time we went shopping, the usual tantrum erupted with screaming and flailing arms and legs. I asked my wife to take the other two boys, finish shopping, and then return to the toy section. I went to the next aisle where I could watch him so he wouldn't hurt himself or others. The tantrum continued until my family left the store and I'm sure people thought we were terrible parents. However, we simply ignored his bad behavior in a public place, and he never threw another tantrum.

2. My two youngest sons had a bad habit of fighting, sometimes over very minor differences. One day they were going tooth and nail, practically killing each other. Having had all I could stand of it, I broke them from their death grips on each other and gave them a minute or two to calm down a little. Then I turned to each one and said, "If you want to fight, then go ahead and hit your brother." After several minutes of silence, I asked, "Why aren't you hitting your brother?" They both started crying and blurted out, "Because I don't want to."

3. My ex-wife called me from where she lives in California crying and saying something unintelligible. Finally she calmed down enough to let me know that my middle son, the temper tantrum one who is now a teenager, was threatening to come live with me in New Mexico if he didn't get his way. I asked her to put him on the phone.

I told him, "You're welcome to come live with me, BUT first sit down and resolve your conflict with your mother in a calm and respectful manner. Then, and only then, if you still want to live with me it will be okay.

4. My youngest son was sent to his room for a serious infraction for which he needed to apologize to one of his older brothers. The direction he received was to come out of the room when he was ready to apologize. After what seemed like a reasonable amount of time, he still had not appeared to offer his regrets for his deeds against his brother. I decided it was time for me to intervene. I went to his room, sat about as close as a dad should to an upset son, and asked if he understood why I was being so mean as to send him to his room. He hadn't understood. Since he'd had the time to calm down a little, I re-explained to him very calmly and patiently what his infraction was and the reason why he should apologize. I left the room and very shortly he was out, apologized, and played happily with his brothers the rest of the evening.

Three Seminars for Mongolian Educators and Students

by Ikuji Kobayashi-Moscow, Russia

When Dr. Joon Ho Seuk, Jack Corley, Terry Walton (regional leader of Central Siberia and Mongolia) and Ikuji Kobayashi (missionary to Mongolia) visited Mongolia for three days in May 1994, they signed an agreement with the Ministry of Education, the Mongolian State Pedagogical University and the Youth and Student Association of Mongolia to hold seminars for school directors, teachers and pedagogical students.

Two programs took place in early July at Lake Baikal near Ulan Ude in Russia, one for school directors and one for students. There was also one program at the end of July in Ulaan-baatar, Mongolia, for teachers who will use the course in their schools.

Forty five Mongolians participated in the first seminar, from July 2 to 8. There were two representatives from the Ulaanbaatar City Department of Education, six specialists from the Mongolian State Pedagogical University, including the vice rector, and 39 school directors.

Generally, educators in Mongolia are very concerned with education for young people, since 45% of the population is under 16 years old. They understand clearly that the future of this "young country" depends on education.

They responded to the lectures very well. When we suggested having a third seminar for teachers in Ulaanbaatar, they promised to send their best teachers.

Among the participants there was a former minister of education, who said that all Mongolian schools should teach the ethics and morality course, "My World & I," and that the book should be translated into Mongolian.

Later we found out that the Mongolian State Pedagogical University, which is responsible for 80 to 90 percent of the school curriculum, is very positive about the "My World & I" course and wants to form a committee to translate it into Mongolian.

Forty top university students attended the second seminar, from July 16 to 21. Like the participants of the first seminar, they had to wait two days at the border before entering Russia, because of immigration and customs problems.

At the closing banquet, the leader of the group, an official from the Mongolian State Pedagogical University, said that the idea of changing ourselves so that society and the world can change is very close to the old Mongolian philosophy. One graduate student said that the idea of the Three Blessings is very similar to one point of Lama Buddhism.

We received many excellent and inspired testimonies from the students, expressing their deep understanding and appreciation of the lectures.

On this foundation we plan to continue teaching our curriculum course to cover all schools and eventually the universities.

Reprinted from Family Ties.