by Victoria Clevenger
This is the result of an internal dialogue between me and Someone else whom I hope is deserving of capitalization. Since I directed myself to God, I will assume it was Him. But even if it was "just" another aspect of me, I'm grateful for the result because when I remember to "ness," my reality takes on deeper and richer colors of feeling. I hope yours will too.
While riding in our van I was thinking about what to put into the next issue of HeartWing. I asked God if He had anything He wanted to say.
"Talk about colors of reality."
What does that mean??
"Think about how when you're in love, things seem more intense, pleasurable, engrossing. Or like in the books you've been reading about the spirit world, as a person progresses to higher levels, his environment becomes much more colorful and bright. The innate value, beauty, and essence of things is more clearly perceived when you "see" from a clearer, deeper, more essential part of yourself. You grok (embrace, comprehend) the essence or the "-ness"-the quality of-an entity (person, thing) more. Thus the entity becomes less an irritant or distraction, which it can be if your focus is only superficial or temporal, and more a source of nourishment to your essence."
I then continued talking more with myself, realizing that it is important to "ness" because to do so I have to go deeper beyond my noisy mind and external concerns to the "ness" of myself-the pure true quality of who I actually am. And it's further important because then I can more make "oneness" with the One who is the source of all quality, all beauty, essence, and innate value.
I tried this while eating a wholewheat fig newton. How do I fully perceive and receive all that fig newton-ness can give? Not only did I savor the taste and texture, but I thought of all that had gone into its being in my mouth at that time. It was a much more cosmic and memorable experience than I had ever had eating a fig newton. And it satisfied me on much more than a physical level. Then I looked at my son and tried to fully comprehend and embrace his Daniel-ness (instead of being irritated by his demands for a cookie).
After that God (I hope) said something which I have heard from Him before: "Hurry is the enemy."
As Joseph Campbell maintains, people say they seek the meaning of life, but actually we seek the experience of life. We can be in heaven or just perpetually attend lectures on heaven. We can be in such a hurry to get somewhere that we forget to truly be in the moment.
For me, trying to fully appreciate what I am perceiving involves me in a wondrous circuit of
a) awakening and nurturing my God-given capacity for appreciating, while also
b) nourishing the person or thing being appreciated, and in turn
c) appreciating God for His qualities that are expressed in the person/thing being appreciated, and
d) expressing on His behalf His appreciation for that which is being appreciated. Whew!
Nessing takes me to a deeper, more peaceful part of myself, and often produces tears of aliveness and connection to the person/thing I'm nessing.
Can you ness all this???