1977.10.9
I am on a jet back to Dallas right at this moment. I spent the weekend in Delaware with the folks for a rare but brief visit. It was good to see them, but also somewhat boring. Things haven't changed a bit. I had no desire to see any old friends like Greg or Leslie, and I probably wouldn't have been able to find them if I had wanted to. My past is behind me and I just want to keep moving forward, closer and closer to God. It will be good to get back to the team.
Miraculously, True Parents came to see us in Dallas on October 6 and stayed overnight and left the next morning. Father spoke for close to six hours. I managed to get a lot of it down on paper.
The whole day before, on the 5th, my team worked all day at the center preparing for them. It involved moving everyone's personal belongings out into our little warehouse, leaving the house almost completely empty. We also bought a bedroom set, but first we rented a carpet cleaner and steam-cleaned the carpet. Mike Joyce said he had done it before so we let him do it. It was amazing how dirty the carpet really was, and how much brighter it got. It was actually a pretty pale blue-lavender.
Because of my experience with painting, I took responsibility to paint the master bathroom. I took the top of the toilet tank, which was a shade of lavender similar to the carpet, and they matched the color exactly at the paint store. I spent all day and most of the evening painting. The final thing I had to do was repair some loose tiles on the step into the shower. When I was finally done it was nearly 3 am and everyone else had gone to bed. I was so tired I couldn't wait to lie down.
I had a dream of Father. He looked exhausted. He handed me an old-fashioned pistol, the kind pirates used. On the handle were the Greek letters for alpha and omega, the "A" laying inside the omega. I woke up more refreshed than I had felt in ages.
That day Father spoke to us briefly about himself as a young man. He said he experienced everything we do. The only difference is that we have a leader or someone we could turn to. Then he said that we might say that he had God, but he said God drove him mercilessly because throughout human history people only loved God when God was nice. But Father had to establish the tradition of loving God even if God were a merciless tyrant, because God wanted to establish one absolute standard of perfection, one absolute man of perfection, one absolute standard of love by which the world could be judged.
I often think of myself as fighting the dark forces alone, holding some type of sword or something but it is still bulky and awkward for me to use. But the thought inspires some flame of righteousness, some feeling of nobility.