Nora Spurgin, “Many things happened with the children”

We helped with the speech at Madison Square Garden in 1974. Then we both attended 120-day training in Barrytown. Later we were both sent out to do pioneering. The married women from 777 couples were sent out as itinerant workers (IWs). I went out for about three years.

It was during that time that we left the children. They spent a lot of time at the nursery. Hugh was at the seminary, where the nursery was located. We never knew how long these missions would last. Sometimes I wondered how long I could drag my heavy heart around from state to state, I so longed to be with my family. Then we worked for Yankee Stadium. We thought that might be the end of the IW mission and that Father would say to go home after Washington Monument. By then many of us were pregnant. I think we all felt like it was time for us to go home. Then Father said, "IWs, stand up." We all stood up. He said, "Continue." Our hearts sank, to face the word "continue." We all went back out, but then I came back to Barrytown to have our third child. After 40 days I went back out, but I took her along with me. Hugh provided a car for me, so I drove around the region with her. I’d come to the center with my baby and a bag. I slept on the floor with her in my sleeping bag. After four months, the baby needed more than I was able to give while traveling. I thought that maybe she needed stability rather than to travel with me. So while I was working I used the nursery again.

We had a conference every 45 days in New York. We would see our children then. We would visit them for a day and we’d go back out. But once we had a conference in California and it meant not being able to see them.

Many things happened with the children. During one Christmas time we had made arrangements to celebrate the holiday. I was in Denver. Hugh was going to bring the children and I would meet them in Indiana to visit Hugh’s family. We bought the train tickets, and then I got a call that the IW’s should not go home. It was one of the hardest things for me. I couldn’t believe it was happening. It was the most painful Christmas I ever spent. I was almost alone in a big center. Most of the members went home. I bought the most beautiful white material to make a coat for my daughter. It was going to have light blue lining, and blue buttons. I made this coat on Christmas day.

While traveling on the Greyhound busses I would read books. I read Alex Haley’s book Roots. There was a section about a slave family that was separated; they were sold separately. I felt we were just like that. I shed so many tears, letting out the pain I felt being separated from my family. I decided that because I was experiencing this, I would make this an offering. I offered it for all the women in the world who had had to be separated, especially the slave women. It’s so important not to be resentful, so I always tried to find a way to offer it.

I went to the prayer room to pray about it. I realized then that True Parents were doing the same thing. They were traveling to every state without their children. When things got really tough, it helped to make a condition about whatever it was, and then it would free me to do the mission. That way, if I offered it to God, I could avoid feeling resentment by putting that sacrifice on the altar.

That period of time was long. Father finally called us and said, “After mothers have three children you should go home and take care of them.” But we didn’t have homes anywhere.

Farley and Betsy Jones’ family and our family moved to the old nursery in Barrytown, where our two families lived together at the Gate House. We lived at Barrytown for six years. We lived with 12 different families at various times. It was quite an experience of learning to live with different families.

We had only one bathroom and one kitchen. One family would bathe the children while the other made dinner and ate. We’d then switch. Our kids often played together. Once I left a gallon of paint on the mantle while we were redoing a room. The children rigged the paint with rope, and when I opened the door, the paint spilled on the brand new carpet. Betsy and I were pregnant and we just looked at the carpet. We had to clean it up by pouring water on it! The kids were really good friends and got into a lot of creative fun. They grew up like brothers and sisters. They will always have deep relationships with each other. Recently they told us that one of the main things that we gave them are the lasting friendships that they will have all their lives.

We lived at Barrytown for six years. In 1979 I was asked to work with the Blessed Family Department. I visited New York two days a week during that time. A lot of seminary students did babysitting for our children then. Between 1979 and 1987 I worked for the Blessed Family Department. Hugh finished his Ph.D. and began his work with the Professors World Peace Academy (PWPA).

From 40 Years in America, 47-48.