In 1970, Farley and I and other 777 couples went to Japan and Korea. There were seven couples from America. We traveled all over Korea and Japan. Father spoke to us quite a bit while we were in Korea. It helped a lot to see all the international couples, the ones from Korea and Japan and the 15 couples from Europe. He spoke to us each day on different topics. He listened to each of our confessions personally, one by one. We shared our heart and our sin with him, and he really represented God’s forgiveness to us.
He called us in the middle of the night to receive the wine ceremony. The wine goes from True Father, to the wife and to the husband, and I had a very deep experience with that. After the wine ceremony I went back to my room to go to sleep. I was trying to go to sleep, and I felt that my ancestors were happy. I even sat up in bed and said, "Isn’t it great?" I felt like something had changed; it was a new beginning. At the holy ground I felt that all was forgiven. Before we left, Father spoke to us and kept saying, "Love your enemy. Love your enemy." He said your enemy will become your mate. We had had a good relationship up until then, but when we returned we were on a new level for our couple.
Farley was the president of the church. And somehow for us, the "enemy" had set in. There was a lot of pressure on our couple. We were really struggling with each other. Farley had a lot of pressure to think only of the mission and not think of his spouse, to restore things, to keep the standard. I went the other way. I had been very dedicated as a single person, but once we were a couple I was worried about insurance and an apartment. About a year and a half later when Father came again, he called me in to talk because he had heard about our fights. He said, "Why do you fight with your husband?" At first I wanted to say that it was because of this and because of that, but somehow I realized that I needed to be totally honest. I said, "Well, I guess I want him to be like me." He laughed and said, "Your personality is 50 percent and your husband’s personality is 50 percent."
His counseling was very sensitive. My attitude wasn’t right then but he was trying to guide me. If a woman continues to get mad at her husband, sometimes the man will turn away and not come back. You have to be careful. Recognize that he has some heart. I have to see what he is doing. I realized that Farley was trying to represent the mission.
Father said, "What kind of life do you want in the spiritual world? Do you want a life where you live in a nice house in the mountains where the sunset comes over the mountains? If you want that, you have to give up certain things in your life on earth. You have to sacrifice something on earth to have that kind of thing later." I went to where my husband was sleeping that night, and even though he was sleeping I really repented to him, and pledged that I would change. It was a turning point for our couple.
From 40 Years in America, pp. 54-55.