Angelika Selle
July 4, 1985
Mother prays before lunch on the day of Father's homecoming from Danbury.
At 8:30 A.M. on July 4, 1985, in contrast to the past 12 months, a solemn, deeply joyful atmosphere filled the house at East Garden, as Korean elders and major leaders entered the living room, many with a smile or an expression of tranquility on their faces. Some of the younger True Children bounded happily through the house, especially Young Jin Nim -- not only was today his birthday, but also Abogee would come back home, at least for one whole day.
At nine o'clock sharp, a car pulled up silently in front of the main house and out came Father, followed by Mother and Hyo Jin Nim. Father briefly turned around to acknowledge the cheering assembly and then came inside.
After a short prayer in the living room, Father and Mother sat down on their special chairs and the smaller True Children and grandchildren jumped on Father's lap one by one, kissing and welcoming him. The blessed True Children were represented by Hyo Jin Nim, Nan Sook Nim, and Jin Sung Nim.
A breakfast was served for the True Family, and Father offered a short prayer. Some of the eldest leaders were asked to sit with the True Family at the breakfast table while everyone else engaged in personal conversation.
After the meal Father went upstairs for a few hours and returned around noon for Young Jin Nim's birthday celebration. Young Jin Nim was truly fortunate to have Father and Mother together giving him the blessing on his seventh birthday (Western reckoning). He obviously enjoyed it, too.
Mother's Prayer
Traditional family pictures were taken, and soon after that the tables were set again for lunch. This time, Father asked Mother to say grace. Tears streamed down her face as she conversed with Heavenly Father for several minutes. Although I am unable to understand Korean, I could feel the serious spirit of the prayer, which was interspersed with English words here and there, such as "Danbury" and "halfway house." Most of the members and leaders were moved to tears as well. It seemed to me that as the wife of our True Father, Mother is probably the only one besides Heavenly Father who can grasp Father's real suffering and heart.
After everyone had finished lunch, Father called for a meeting with all the major leaders. Again everyone welcomed him with continuous, grateful applause. Father smiled broadly.
First Dr. [Bo Hi] Pak reported about Father's release from Danbury and the press conference that had taken place earlier that morning. He also shared some of the recent newspaper articles about the unjust imprisonment of Father. Then to the surprise of all Father started to speak in English and continued to do so for the next four to five hours. Truly a record! As Dr. Pak put it, one of the fringe benefits of Father's staying in prison was that he could now speak to the members in English. Obviously, there were many American slang words in Father's vocabulary, but he sounded very heartwarming and close, even though it was rather difficult to understand everything he was saying. His voice would go from loud to soft within seconds, so that even the microphones weren't able to pick up the sound very well.
The following is a summary of what Father conveyed during those approximately four and a half hours, based on personal notes and what could be understood from the audio tapes.
Father speaks to the major leaders at East Garden on July 4.
Determined to Go Ahead
Father said that no matter what, he would continue "marching on," even knowing that his doing so would probably increase the personal danger to his life. Though many people have recommended that he take an easier path, he is determined to go straight ahead, following God's way, which is never debatable.
He said that by going the same way we are different. We are a new race: "You are not American, and you don't belong to America. We are a different group. We are going a different course; our lifestyle is different. We hear differently, smell and touch differently. That's why until now we received a lot of persecution."
Dr. Pak interjected at this point that it was "providential" for Father to stay in a halfway house called Phoenix House. In Korea the Phoenix symbolizes the power of the presidency. There are two phoenix birds on the Korean president's flag. And in the West the phoenix is a bird that never dies or gives up, but always rises from ashes, comes back, fights, and wins.
Father Has Won by Living the Principle
Father then spoke about how the Jews and Christians still contend against each other after two thousand years, while he, with the help of God and spirit world, has been able to create a miracle in a short period of time and change established Christianity's animosity against the Unification Church into friendship.
But how could Father have done this? Only by living the Principle; by applying the law of indemnity. "By being forsaken, I won. That is the law of indemnity."
There is no doubt that because of the tremendous indemnity Father paid in going to prison, Christian ministers could respond. He explained that an internal change has taken place: Christianity, which had been symbolically representing Cain or the fallen archangel, now represents the archangel on the heavenly side. This heavenly archangel is now fighting for what Satan still occupies. And from now on Unification Church members are not in the Abel position towards Christianity, but have moved into the elder brother's position.
This in essence means that the family hierarchy that God originally intended before the fall has been restored: first God, then True Parents (restored Adam and Eve), then elder brother, then younger brother. This new structure cannot be occupied by Satan. According to Father: "Until that kind of situation was established, Satan could accuse and oppose everything."
Next Father spoke about the many barriers that he encountered inside the prison in Danbury. But of the struggles that go one at every level he said, "Their content is only one: the Cain and Abel problem."
Many times the inmates had come up to Father to complain about other inmates. Yet Father never said anything against anybody. He would make an occasional insightful comment about a person, but otherwise he would concentrate on his studies, meditate, and serve others. Soon people knew that he was innocent and that he was a good man despite the many malicious rumors, and they began to trust him.
Father mentioned that originally he was to have been released to the halfway house on July 8. Between July 8 and August 20 there are exactly 43 days. He compared that period to the time after Jesus' crucifixion. During the 40 days the resurrected Jesus appeared to many of his disciples. Likewise, after having been "crucified" at the "mount of Danbury," Father's name will be resurrected all over the world.
Don't Lose this Historical Moment
Father reminded members to catch and use the precious opportunity of this most historical and providential time. "It's the time of universal destiny.., not everybody knows that." Having pursued the will of God throughout his life, he has had many confirmations of this special time period. If America loses this opportunity, if the free world loses this chance, Satan could occupy the whole world, which would go down to the level of hell.
Our number-one enemy, he said, is our fallen habits and customs, certain daily patterns of life like eating at a certain time, sleeping, taking a bath, etc. Those things are all necessary and important, but they should not take a predominant place in our minds and actions. "Almost all people are following these patterns and therefore don't grasp the significance and opportunity of this time.... God is looking all over the world, wondering: Who can grasp this historical time?"
It is necessary to cleanse ourselves from time to time of the fallen habits which we still carry with us from our past life. Father said that Satan surrounds us with his net -- fallen habits- and the only way to tear a hole in this net and escape is by leading a religious way of life.
"What is God's way of thinking? He thinks in a universal way. Who is thinking the same way?" Father asked.
Father Chose the Worst Situation
Many Americans had fixed concepts about Father when he entered prison. They thought he would cause a big ruckus and refuse to go there at all. But Father went and lived there silently, hardly uttering a word. So most people thought that he had repented. Besides, they thought that he enjoyed life there, resting, eating, playing, etc. How wrong they were! "I chose the way of indemnity a long time ago. Everybody likes the easy way.... Me too, but the difference between me and others is that I will take it easy only after I have brought the final victory.... Throughout my life I always choose to be in the worst situation.... I poured out my heart, my people, and my everything into this country... and still more indemnity has to be paid."
Father then reflected on his time at Danbury. He said that externally speaking it was a very beautiful place with a nice scenery. In spite of that, he said, "What do you think I did? I centered on God's will. You have to know that." He reminded us that Satan still enjoys ruling the world that was originally to have been governed by God.
"That's the situation God is in. Sometimes I thought about how miserable God was when I had to do miserable work." Father started crying when he remembered the dirty, lowly work that he did in prison, because God Himself had to do that miserable work with him and be in that most humble position. "Think: God is our forever real Parent. Who knows God's real heart, His serious heart? No one, except Rev. Moon. I have come to know well during my lifetime. I know Him,...but I don't open my mouth."
"How Much Do You Know God and Father?"
Father then asked us: "You Moonies, Unification Church members, how much do you know God and Father?" Even though we see many pictures of Father, he said that we don't really know him. Even the 36 Couples who have followed him for 25 years or more don't know him, he said.
If we read the Principle without studying Father -- his lifestyle and personality -- we can never understand its content. So he encouraged us to find out more about Heavenly Father and him, and not be satisfied with our present understanding. We should get to know God on a much deeper level, knowing the highest "qualities" and "quantities" of Him.
Father also made it clear that if we don't trust ourselves, then nobody, not even Satan -- much less God and True Parents -- can trust us. On the other hand, we should put our first trust a hundred percent in God, instead of being too confident in our own abilities. Many times if we think too highly of ourselves we might be on a completely different level than God, far away from Him.
Sometimes, Father said, God asks him: "Do you believe in yourself'?" Father's answer is always: "Not one hundred percent." Then God usually says: "But I believe in you one hundred percent." In that way Father, as a human being, is not overly confident in himself, but rather trusts God completely. This means that he still needs God and that he is on God's side. Father concluded: "If you have that attitude, then you cannot complain, no matter how difficult a situation you may face. Just continue, because God will lead you." If God asks Father to do something he always follows obediently, and does even more than he is asked. In fact Father carefully analyzes his motivation every time he asks Heavenly Father to help him. If he would ever misuse God, he said, he wouldn't be able to lift up his face in front of Him.
A Qualified Jail-system Director
During his lifetime Father has seen many jails from the inside, and knows all about them. He asked: Do you think that there will be jails in the Kingdom of Heaven? Yes, there will be; but they will be different from the jails we know now. Father feels that he would definitely be qualified to be a "jail-system director." Jail should be like a school where people can learn about their mistakes.
Father then intimated that it isn't so good for South Korea to open its doors to economic trade with North Korea. Father knows that the communists still want to invade or gain sovereignty over the South by some means. For this reason he needs to go to South Korea to protect it from a potential communist invasion. He asked who among us wanted to volunteer to go with him. A definite fringe benefit of staying in the homeland for a while, he said, would be to learn the Korean language and better understand Korean culture.
Father's conclusion was that by 1988, "We have to settle in Canaan, just like the Israelites. Until then we need day and night action!"