Sun Myung Moon
February 8, 1977
New York
The 1800 Couples Anniversary Dinner began as many separate celebrations and gradually coalesced into one large celebration with our True Parents as the guests of honor.
Originally there were to be three separate celebrations, all informal and much smaller than the dinner that was finally held at 43rd Street. The Japanese couples had planned a celebration featuring Mr. Chung Hwan Kwak as the guest speaker. Many American couples had been feeling the need for spiritual guidance and so when Mr. Salonen found that the Japanese were having Mr. Kwak speak, he asked Mr. Kwak if he would speak to Western and Japanese couples together.
A large celebration was planned, with Mr. Kwak to speak to everyone with dinner and entertainment following. Mr. Kwak was happy to speak to us all, except now there would have to be a translator to translate his Japanese into English. This turned out to be quite a problem, as no one felt confident to translate such delicate material. We had a speaker who could speak great Japanese, yet no one to translate his words into the ones that we could understand. Mr. Kwak had a solution in mind that would save the day.
Just a day before the event, we started hearing rumors that Father would come to the dinner and speak to the couples himself. What was once planned as a rather informal dinner was becoming a grand affair with Father himself attending! The kitchen staff began scrambling to find every thing to prepare for Father's table, and we made Father's conference room ready for his speech.
We were very happy that Father and Mother would take time out of their busy schedule to be with us, and we could hardly contain our joy. I think that everyone will always be grateful to Father for making this a very memorable occasion, and to Mr. Kwak for providing the means for it to happen. Father spoke to us all for two and a half hours, often making comments to individual couples, and making the Japanese couples giggle by speaking to them individually in Japanese. After the speech, Father and Mother led us all downstairs to a wonderful dinner of Chicken Cordon Bleu. Father remarked to the guests at his table that the 1800 couples must be good couples because the food was very good. He passed some of the food on his table to the couples at the other tables.
After dinner a three-tiered anniversary cake was presented, but Father said that one of the 1800 couples should cut the cake rather than himself. Mr. Salonen chose Robert and Mameko Rattley to cut the cake, and they did so in the tradition of our True Parents, cutting it in half and then in quarters. Father enjoyed coaching them in the heavenly method of cake cutting.
Some of the couples and groups had prepared songs, and they were offered, and most of the couples at the head table sang songs for the occasion. Mr. and Mrs. Salonen did their rendition of "For Baby," and Mr. Kamiyama sang a popular Japanese song. The real entertainment, however, came when Father and Mother performed their famous number, "Um Maya." This ended our Parents' participation in the evening, and we roused the neighborhood as we saw them out the door with shouts of "Goodbye, Father, Goodbye, Mother," and of course, "Monsei!"
Mr. Salonen spoke to us briefly after our Parents left, and sent us all to the movies. All headed out the door, with memories of a wonderful evening that will last for years to come.
A memory often remains deep in our minds after we have had some special experience. However, even in a few years it gradually becomes fainter and fainter in our minds. Do you remember the bitter coldness of February 8, when the 1800 blessing ceremony was done in Chunju Gymnasium in Seoul two years ago? I would guess you could never forget it in your whole life. In a thin Korean wedding dress you shivered with cold before you went into the gymnasium. You were cold, weren't you? Some couples who went in first might not be so cold, but the other couples who went in later must have been cold. I think some members would have thought it was much better to come back home for the warmth rather than to stay in the coldness outside the gymnasium.
Now you have had a separation period for two years since you were blessed. You exchange letters with each other, counting days with your fingers, expecting the time when you can live together. You will never forget this period of separation. But as soon as you begin married life you will understand that it is not so easy to live together as a couple. Husband and wife each have different thoughts about married life, as different as your different faces. It is so difficult to make unity between the two minds of husband and wife. However, all of you have basically the same idea that everything is God's Will and providence. Your idea of marriage based on the Divine Principle is superior to the usual thoughts of marriage in the world.
Now you must think that you can't believe in marriage without the Principle. Is that true? Your marriage is so different from marriage in the unprincipled world. Nobody can guarantee the life of a usual marriage. You will be able to find that out from many different viewpoints. Even one word, if it is the wrong word, can cause divorce.
Men and women live in two separate worlds. Have you ever felt it? How about members who have already been married? It is a practical problem. Who could restore the original relationship of love if one word can cause separation between a husband and wife? It is impossible to restore it in the world. But for us it is possible because we have the same purpose, idea, and belief. Even though we might make a big mistake in our life, we will pay an indemnity condition to restore it because we believe in God and True Parents. God will scold you, saying, "You made a mistake."
Were you grateful to receive the blessing or not? Which? If you were not so grateful, you need me. I want to say another good point about our blessing. It is nice you have many blessed sisters and brothers as your family.
How do Korean blessed couples spend their married life for God? And how about Japanese blessed couples and American couples? When you think about them, you will be compelled to make up your mind not to be the last on the list of the blessed couples compared with other blessed couples. It is very good to reflect on this and awaken yourself.
Therefore, it is much better for you to be blessed in the Unification Church than to have a marriage in the world. So, among couples who are already living together, I imagine you have quarreled with each other. Especially because American women are so strong, American men will have difficulties. Americans have the democratic thought that everybody has a right to equality. Our thought is different. For example, a woman is in the object position to the husband who has the subject position. Therefore, it is a crime for a woman to be angry at a man. Compared with the rate of anger between men and women, I think that women are more short-tempered than men. Two-thirds of anger comes from women rather than men.
But it is wrong from the point of view of the Divine Principle. In the Garden of Eden, Adam was forced into the original sin by Eve. Therefore, women have to establish indemnity conditions that women completely obey men. Women absolutely must not get angry. As soon as a man and a woman have married life, you can understand that a woman can be subjugated by a man.
Since Japanese sisters came to America, most American brothers began to yearn after Oriental sisters very much and, on the other hand, to dislike the strong ways of American women. If American men understand the Divine Principle enough, they will agree with my idea.
If I ask American men outside our church who are married to American women, whether their wives are very obedient and trustworthy, probably they will have no confidence. When they ask their wives if they can love only them their whole lives long the wife will answer that she has no confidence in doing that. American women have fallen into a miserable situation. As soon as such a wife has a slight quarrel with her husband, she will suspect that her husband has another woman. It is very miserable to a man. What kind of relationship is there between a husband and a wife after a wife begins to have such doubts in her mind? It is so terrible. If then they have a baby, they will repent and think that they should not have had the baby. They should not be allowed to take care of their innocent baby with this sense of guilt. It is a big problem. However, our Unification Church's blessed couples are so happy.
Even though a husband and wife quarrel with each other, they quickly become reconciled and together go fundraising and witnessing the next day. Soon, you can make peace between you. What an amazing idea of marriage we have! In the case of international blessings, the customs between a husband and wife are so different, so it is more difficult to make unity.
But if a husband and a wife can understand each other, both of them will become persons of fine character. It is natural to have a struggling period for three years. After three years, you will be a good couple. For example, the Oriental woman likes to be loved quietly, like a doll. Therefore, if the Western husband can understand it and control her, the couple will be matched well.
The husband should not give a test to his wife; you must not give a shock to damage your wife. Most women desire to serve their husbands 100 per cent. Accordingly, it is wrong if their husbands don't understand them and coldly put their wives through difficulties to evaluate them.
You international couples have a most important position. If a wife blessed in international marriage says she regrets marrying a foreigner, afterwards the way to international marriages will be closed. Then Oriental men could be blessed only with Oriental women and Western men could be blessed only with Western women, and the way of God's providence would be closed. It would be limited only to the Orient. The Oriental world and the Western world would be completely divided. To our ancestors in the past and to generations in the future, it would be inexcusable. If you cannot make an ideal family on the earth, you will not understand the ideal spiritual world. How can we accomplish the salvation of the spiritual world if whites like to live only with whites?
In the spirit world, if Western spirits don't like Eastern spirits, this is not ideal. The important mission of the Unification Church is to make a united world. We must establish the world in which hearts are filled with the desire for world unity. In order to accomplish this purpose we must promote international blessings. You must make your ideal family a representative family in the world, thinking that international couples were blessed for a special purpose.
I can pick out one exceptional person from among ten thousand people. It is a big mistake for you to think that I did not consider anything special when I made your match. In the case of the foreign missionaries, success depends on their own effort and real ability. Generally speaking, I think a man would rather work hard for his mission than write a letter. He probably does not want to report so precisely to his wife. He may have some difficulty in this country. Even though your husband does not write letters to you, you should not think that he is not concerned about you.
Finally you will meet him in the future and live together. When you write a letter to your husband, in your letter you need not stress the need for your husband to make a good result from the point of view of Heavenly Father. For example, you had better introduce the beautiful scenery in America, American history and your impression of American books.
You should elaborate a plan which will be useful in your future life as a couple. So you should make some plans in order to give him a good impression of you. You must not think that if your husband doesn't write a letter for a month he doesn't love you any more. Even if you don't receive a letter from him for one year, a good wife could continue writing letters which encourage him. Write the following way: "You probably have no time to look upon the stars in the sky because you are compelled to work hard for your mission. I am grateful to you."
Write poetically. Send a picture of your profile taken when you are looking toward the sea on the beach. In your hand you can hold your letter in which you wrote about what a wonderful day it was and how you wished he had been there to see it. Don't write a letter complaining because you haven't received a letter from him. You can give him an impression that you have some excellent quality different from your husband. Then your husband will reflect on himself.
It is more difficult for a man to live together with one woman his whole life long than to conquer the whole universe. Even I often observe and study True Mother. I observe her with interest. I notice that she has this kind of sense and that kind of sense. I think she is very impressed when I speak to her in this way or that way. If I touch a certain part of her heart, I can guess she will feel such and such. Through observation and studying, we can recognize each other's different worlds and have a deep exchange between us.
Generally speaking, a woman can't improve herself if she thinks only of herself. A man is in the same situation. I am sure that men can't understand women. There is a fundamental difference between a man and a woman. A man's opinion is just the opposite of a woman's opinion. The direction which is decided by a man is fundamentally different. Accordingly, a woman should often pay attention to a man. That woman who can't live with her husband, who demands that he should be concerned only about her, may be called a thief.
You will violate the heavenly laws if you send a letter which hurts your husband's heart. A man doesn't like to report everything to his wife. A man often has his secrets in his mind. But it is also principled love.
Though each man has his own destiny, a man usually can't judge his own destiny. I have the best facial features to become a worldwide leader. I can judge Heavenly fortune, not just worldwide fortune. It is very significant to judge Heavenly fortune. I think most Westerners can't understand Oriental philosophy. At the matching of 1800 blessed couples, I quickly decided every couple within nine hours. I did it like a work of God. Though it seemed as if I did it without any thought, it is different. I am a man of miracles.
Even if you cannot make unity between yourselves, you will have good children in your future. That is my plan. Even though neither of you is such a superior person, excellent children will be born from you. If a woman chose her favorite man as her husband, that couple might end their married life in half a year. I think Western brothers and sisters must never have heard this kind of speech about the blessing.
Each person has different qualities, depending on spiritual standards of his ancestors, whether they did good or evil. Everybody's standard is different. My insight is very keen. As I have been thinking about the spiritual world, I can look into your invisible mind. Therefore, I hope you do not spend your daily life like the common man and woman outside the Unification Church. It is not so good that I become older and older, because you still need more training and development.
I have never studied physiognomy, but I can see into the minds of other persons. I have been doing this since I was eight years old. If I recognize that someone is good, it becomes clear in the future that he is indeed good. But on the other hand, if I recognize that he is not so good, he really turns out that way. I have been known for such predictions since I was a child.
All of my relatives thought that I would become famous in the future. I could predict whether it would be dry weather or wet weather next year. I don't like to publicly make such predictions. Though I can do it, I don't speak about it. You must be proud that your blessing was given by a man who has the highest record for the matchmaker in worldwide marriage. You must remember it well. We can evaluate the marriage of each couple after three generations, taking into considerable their children and grandchildren. When we see our grandchildren we can recognize how the family will develop later. What do you think about our couple?
The keys for development as foreign missionaries are to eat less and sleep fewer hours than the other members. Work harder and wear worse clothes than the other members. That is the best way to develop each foreign mission. The first six months is a very important period for you to gain success. Work harder and do jobs which the other members don't like to do. You will finally be welcomed as their guest. Then the other members will do everything instead of you. Work harder in order to be welcomed as a good wife of a foreign missionary.
Make an effort to become a good wife and then a good mother. A woman is a woman. Finally her husband will most strongly influence her. A man is a seed. A woman is the ground. Therefore, it is very important how well the seed is planted in the ground.
The thing you have to be always conscious of is whether you are remembered by God and which rank among the 1800 couples you hold, because God doesn't see you as one person or one couple. If God is going to bless one couple among 1800 couples, He blessed the best couple among them. He thinks this way. He thinks on the worldwide scale, universally, so He will give His blessing to the couple who can become the best family on this level. They can become admirable ancestors who are about to have splendid descendants.
Therefore, God doesn't think of you horizontally as an individual person or couple. God thinks of you according to what rank you can achieve as the representative of 1800 couples. So you have to consider that you receive the allotment of grace from God according to what rank you can attain before God. Who can set the tradition of 1800 couples from now on? One couple who sets the tradition becomes a central point. God is watching for it, and reaching for it. You may think of your blessing as being only one among 1800 couples, but Jesus' family and your family are the same. You may not think you have a historical mission. "I was blessed cheaply without doing anything during three years in the Unification Church." You may only think it has this value, not more than that.
Three points: the spiritual world, the earth, and descendants must meet vertically in a straight line. Otherwise, your ancestors will get indemnity as well as your descendants. Therefore, you must be thankful, because if there was not this man or this woman with whom you are blessed, you could not be given this blessing. The hope of human history is this blessing. It is no problem, even if your husband doesn't have eyes or a nose. Which position are you going to reach? Are you going to become number one of 1800 or drop out?
Blessing is not for each individual person. It is for the connection between nation and nation, for the unification of the spiritual world, for the unification of the earth, and for the unification of spiritual world and earth. You may not realize it has the vertical contents. Therefore, if you fall, there is no salvation. If the blessed couple falls selfishly, there is no way of salvation. We can never admit such a case in our world. When you divorce selfishly, your ancestors get indemnity, back to 70 generations they get indemnity. Marriage is not for yourself, it is for all mankind. Therefore, when one of two people fall, the faithful person will be matched again. It is the Principle. If Adam hadn't fallen, his life could be meaningful; if Eve hadn't fallen, Adam could be valuable. People who disobey the Principle will be cut off, but you who are faithful will be blessed.
Therefore, the problem of man and woman from now on means the problem of life and death. If a woman meets with such a situation, she should die rather than fall. You should exchange it with your life. In God's providence, people sacrificed to purify their lineage until now. Because I was born on the earth, I could purify your lineage so you could stand in this blessed condition. Therefore, the sin of falling again cannot be forgiven. Consequently, the time when man's virtue is more necessary than woman's has come. Adam didn't keep his virtue. Adam should have kept his universal virtue, but lost it. Consequently, we must not repeat this history.
I am not doing this for fun. I am blessing you to solve the problem of the spiritual world. Therefore, when you have three meals breakfast, lunch, and dinner you should have them always thinking of your partner. Have you done this? If you look around here and there at the breakfast, lunch and dinner, the results may be dreadful. It could cause indemnity for ancestors and descendants. You don't think of such a connection now, but if you have such an experience, the misery after it happens is tragic.
Maybe you don't realize it. When you act without thought, it could become a problem beyond description -- fear coming from the bottom of your heart. Then you will have more fear than the hell of Adam and Eve's fall. The spiritual world will watch from now on whose lineage can be kept pure. This is the present competition. The problem from now on is whether you can maintain thousands of generations with a pure lineage. Color of skin is not a problem. This is the time to compete with nations for purity.
Consequently you should think about which position you can have among 1800 couples. God wants to see everyone become number one. You have to reach such a goal being thankful and doing your best. Blessed couples have a very serious position. If you don't have confidence, it is better for you not to be blessed. You are not American, Japanese, or Korean. You are beyond nationality.
Who will be able to dominate the world with this kind of tradition after my death? Only the person who inherits the tradition of going beyond nationality and with his heart on the worldwide scale can dominate the world. You must educate your children with such a tradition. In order to educate your precious children, you must become such a person.