As a young man, I was searching for the truth that could solve the problem of human selfishness and ugliness in this world. I knew I was a selfish human being, and I also knew that all humans were selfish, and that even the power of their precious, inner conscience was not strong enough to defeat this selfishness. I tried out conventional Christianity, Saka Gakkai (a new Buddhist group), and even a leftist movement popular in the 1960s. I also read novels (such as Tolstoy's Resurrection) and philosophy books (such as Kant's Critique of Pure Reason). But, I felt none of them had a real solution for the reason why evil still existed. When I realized this, I was deeply disappointed and cried every day. My heart ached and suffered.
But then, during the workshop I was taught that it was God who tremendously suffered when he saw fallen humanity. God's efforts to save his beloved children have been unable to bear fruit due to their continuous rebellion throughout history since the time of the fall of the first human ancestors. This was a surprising revelation to me, and when I learned it, I repented and burst into tears. I continuously wept hours and hours. (I also developed a strong sense of awe toward the undeniable parallels of providential history through which God has been guiding us.) I wiped my tears with my handkerchief, which became very wet and watery. My tears also dropped onto the pages of my lecture notebook, creating a small flood there, and I could no longer take notes during the lecture.
After the workshop, I decided to dedicate myself to respond to God's calling, even saying in my prayer to him: "Heavenly Father, I want to work for your happiness even to the neglect of my own happiness!" I immediately quit college to be a full-time member. (Only because of a later Church direction did I return to college and graduate.)
From Tribute, pp. 313-14.