I met the Unification Church in December of 1970. Soon after I met the church, I wrote reflections of my memories and feelings during this time. Here is the text of these memories and reflections.
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Something really strange happened today. A couple of people walked up to me on the street and started talking about new life and rebirth and a wedding of over 700 couples in Korea. No, that can't be right.
They talked with me awhile, gave me a pamphlet and invited me to a discussion with their Family, as they called it. Then they walked away. Strange people ... I wonder what this Family is all about.
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Something even stranger happened today, I visited this Family. I expected there to be a discussion that lasted only an hour or two, but it turned into an all-day affair. When the discussion began, several people were there, but one by one they left, saying that this new philosophy didn't fit into their lives, or they just couldn't agree with it. Strange, this philosophy means a great deal to me. It talks about a very loving and personal God, a God who gave His Son to LIVE, not to die. He gave His Son with love, and ... we crucified him!
I wanted to hear more, but as I looked around, I found that I was the only one left listening to the philosophy. I felt as if I was keeping these people from work more important than lecturing to one lone individual. Yet, as I got up to leave, explaining that I hadn't planned to stay the whole day, they invited me to come back for dinner later in the week, and one or two individuals would teach me the rest of the philosophy. They are sure going to a lot of bother for one, lone individual! They're so persistent in wanting me to come back that I'd feel guilty turning them down. Strange people ... I'll go back once more. Then maybe I can go back to living my normal life again.
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OH GOD ... I heard the rest of the philosophy today, clear through to the conclusion. OH, MY GOD ... What if it's true? What if it's not true? God, I have to know. I've been taught all through my life that this is the time when the Second Advent may take place, and also that now is the time when many antichrists will appear. Which is this? How can I find out? I must eventually decide to accept or reject all that I have just heard. Whatever my decision is, I know that my life will never be the same again.
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Dear God. It has been two months now since I first came to your Family. One girl has taken me under her wing and has been teaching me what they call the Divine Principle and inviting me to participate in Family activities. God, there is so much love in this Family. I've been afraid to get too involved, but I can't find anything wrong with the way they live or what they do.
It's difficult to find out what I really want to know about this socalled Messiah, because, to find out about him as a person and to be satisfied about the truth of all I have heard about him, I would have to meet him. But, if his teachings and the way of life that he has set up in this Family are any example of what type of person he is, then he must really be wonderful.
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Dear God, our Father. I attended a workshop this weekend and I learned a great deal about myself and other people, as well as learning more about the Principle. One thing that impressed me in the Principle is how You, Heavenly Father, have been striving throughout history to show Your love for us, and how we, through lack of love and faith have kept You so far away. It isn't You who left us!
Now God, I am still not sure about this man who they claim is the Messiah, but I am now convinced that if he is not the Messiah, he must be the Elijah or John the Baptist who, through the foundation he is laying, will lead us to the. Messiah. So, whoever he is, I accept his teachings, and I will try to follow them
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Oh, Father. I have been a fool not to completely accept the Principle before this! All the proof that I have ever needed about this being the right thing has been laid out right in front of me since the first day I came. The Principle not only makes sense, it covers everything. No matter what situation I find, by following the Principle it is impossible to really go wrong. And the love here is genuine. The people really care! They don't give their love expecting something in return. The give their love because they really do love! Father, this is so important to me.
Yet, now I realize that so far, I have not had much faith. And because of my doubts I have been keeping You at a distance. I have been looking for proof that this man is the Messiah, and the proof has been here all along: in the truth of the Principle, and in the love of this family!
Father, I want to know You better. Father, I want to live Your Principle. Father, I want to love!
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Our loving Father, I have now been with your Family for eight months, and in these eight months I have done more living and growing than I did in eight years before meeting Your Family. I thought that I was happy before, and I was. But, since joining Your Family, I have learned and experienced a happiness much deeper than I have ever dreamed possible. I thought I was capable ofloving. But now that I have learned more, I find that my love is only beginning to grow and blossom. I thought that I was alive. But now I am living a life so full that my life before seems like an empty shell. I have learned that it is extremely important for us to act on the Principle. I used to wonder who Elijah was, but I have learned that we should not wonder who it is, but instead take the role of Elijah, EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US, for it is only through our actions and our preparations that our True Parents, and You, Father, can work.
Father, I pray for strength as I attempt to overcome my weaknesses, so that I never will betray You as Judas did, or deny You as Peter did. I will strive, Father, to be a True Son to You and our True Parents. Each day in Your Family has been a day of rebirth. You have given me new life, Father, and I give You my life now, with my deepest love.
Thank You Father for Your Family, the new life it brings, and most of all, Father, thank You for You and Your love. We send our love to You, Father, and invite You to share each and every day with us. Have a nice day, Father."