Alice Fleischer, “I encountered a cosmic presence … of pulsating golden energy”

My parents were faithful member of the American Theosophical Sociery (Adyar Branch) and raised their family in that tradition. This faith tradition was begun by Madam Helen Blavatsky in the 19th century and is a blend of Hinduism, Buddhism, spiritualism, and spiritualized evolutionary teachings.

I was raised as a vegetarian and imbued with the teachings of reincarnation, karma, and spiritual world. At the same time my spiritual grounding was devoid of any understanding of sin, a Messiah, or a personal God for, in my concept, God was a cosmic consciousness, a cosmic mind possessing no heart.

The first significant spiritual event that prepared me to meet the True Parents occurred when I was around 12 or 13 years of age. At that time I was grappling with such dilemmas as whether to pursue a spiritual life, whether God really existed, or whether to seek worldly success and advancement. In pursuit of a resolution to my desperate internal struggle, I often spent time in the midst of my "normal" life snatching moments of meditation in earnest pursuit of my spiritual quest.

During one such meditative time a momentous event took place. I had climbed up into the loft of the garage that my father had built, ostensibly to practice my violin bur actually to continue my spiritual quest. In the midst of a soul-directed meditation, my spiritual senses were opened and I was transported into a mystical dimension in which I encountered a cosmic presence/being/ consciousness whose "body" consisted of pulsating golden energy - I met God. Even though this youthful encounter with God did not enable me to grasp the core essence of God, that loving and broken heart of our Heavenly Parent, I could absolutely testify that God is real and does exist. What was even more remarkable in this encounter was the response that exploded from within my very core - I was euphoric and so joy-filled that I knew without a doubt that the purpose of my life was to become one with God for eternity.

Those anguish-filled questions regarding my life's course had been resolved and the path that I should follow had become crystal dear to me; I would pursue spiritual perfection (for I understood that to be a perquisite to attaining oneness with God) at whatever the cost. Following that experience, based on discussions with my father regarding the substance of a truly worthy life course I arrived at another monumental decision. I determined to become a Bodhisattva, or one who would forgo reaping the fruits of my own spiritual perfection in order to save others.

Fast-forward seven or so years: I was a student at San Francisco State College while also in the midst of another spiritual quest. This time I was seeking to personally confirm whether Theosophy was in fact the highest truth; crucial because I knew reaching spiritual perfection could only be accomplished in conjunction with the highest spiritual truth. I didn't want to stay with my childhood faith tradition just because it was my parents' belief. I was in the beginning of my spiritual journey to study all existing religions and faith traditions, including Theosophy, in order to discover the ultimate truth when I met the Unification Church.

I spent about three months studying and fellowshipping with the San Francisco Unification Church community but, when pushed to join, always refused, until one significant weekend workshop. This particular Friday night, after arriving at the center for a weekend of study and yet again refusing to join, I excused myself and found an empty sisters' sleeping room. I sat softly down on the rug and quietly asked God the following question: "So, what do you think of the Unification Church?"

That was all my Heavenly Parent was waiting for: I found myself again transported into a mystical dimension, into a vast expanse of dark, empty space, though off in the distance I could see a golden shape. Then, suddenly I was in the very center of this golden shape - our Unification Church 12-gates symbol - and the God whom I had met as a young girl let me understand that the only way to become one with my Heavenly Parent (symbolized by my standing in the inner circle of the symbol) - was through the Unification Church (symbolized by the 12-gares symbol). I have no idea how long this experience lasted, but when I emerged from my trance I ran to find my spiritual mother and demanded that she let me "join the Unification Church right now!" That was November 2, 1968.

From Tribute, pp. 109-112.