I want to share with you an experience that kept me from ever leaving God, True Parents or this sometimes crazy church. This happened within a few years of my moving to D.C., around 1972-1973. I decided that I wanted to know and understand more about the concept of a lonely and broken-hearted God. I went on a three-day fast and read as much and thought as much as I could about that for a number of weeks. Nothing happened for two to three months - I didn't have any deep realizations about the heart of God nothing!
In my life before the Unification Church and after joining the Unification Church, I have had many spiritual experiences - seeing auras, spirits, being able to know things before they actually happened, asking for and receiving shooting stars in the sky, etc. I had more spiritual experiences than I deserved or needed, but I had never heard God speak. I had heard the voices of spirits, but never the voice of God. (I'm always amazed when people say, "God just told me this or that." I remember one center director who each morning would say: "God spoke to me last night and said .... "
Well, back to my story. After hearing nothing from God for a few months about His heart, I almost forgot I had ever asked. Then one day I was walking down 16th Street in D.C., near our Upshur house and - bingo! God actually spoke to little old me. I knew it was Him, because the voice encompassed my whole being spirit, body, all of me. He only said two words and has never spoken to me again since. It was -'Tm Lonely." After that, I started bawling like a baby and said," that can't be right you are God Almighty- how can you be lonely?" Well, those two words changed my life and kept me around for almost 42 years. I came to understand a little about the heart of God and the heart of True Father and True Mother - I couldn't easily do things that might break their hearts even more.
From Tribute, 205-206.