True Family Night in Ukraine

by Rev. Kyoung Hyo Kim-Kiev, Ukraine

From October 26 until November 5 the first "True Family Nights" took place in eight cities in Ukraine. Even though there was not much time to organize, it was a very good start of the following up program for the pre-blessed families. We could find out many possibilities through our first challenge and get the confidence. As the best result first of all we could contact thousands of blessed couples again. Many of them were so impressed by our re-contact. They were so glad that we did not forget them. Everyday all members visited 3 pre-blessed families and additionally made many phone call. To visit pre-blessed family is now becoming custom in our activity. It is an almost invisible activity but a very beautiful campaign.

We had already many good contacts which we got through door to door blessing. We could get very nice place and invite even good artist without any charge through these contacts.

Around 1,500 pre-blessed couples with many children watched our program. The program was very simple and humble. Our young member( pioneering center leader) showed at first a slide lecture presentation about family values. Next the other young member read Father's speech "True family & true universe centering on true love," and after that I introduced True Parents to people. The culture event took place after Father's speech.

Somehow what I felt through watching these events was people were so sincere and very much prepared. Actually many of them did not know who is the founder of FFWPU. They listened quite carefully and kept the seat until the program finished even though the program was very simple, furthermore many places were so cold. We put 10 posters of the Unification movement near the entrance. In Dniepropetrovsk we presented TP's calendar of 1998 to the participants. In Donetsk and Kharkov the media came and we made the news.

As the reflection of this first event we felt so sorry to the pre-blessed families because we could not organize so well. However it had very meaningful value because we proclaimed Father's word in each cities. I deeply appreciate to Rev. Chung, Ukraine National Messiah that he gave us such idea. We will continue and develop this program as one of the new challenge for establishing Shimjung culture and True family culture in our cities. Report about the 4th Japanese Culture Night in Kharkov

From 1 to 3 of November the 4th Japanese Culture Night in 1997 took place in Youth culture center in Kharkov. It was sponsored by FFWPU, WFWP and the Japanese Student Association in Kharkov. The program was very well organized and people could enjoy very much the different culture. Around 500 people came and many media made the interview and news.

This time many young students were invited from the universities. There were many interesting corner displays. The corner of "Kimono Sitschak"( to try to wear the Japanese traditional cloths) got the most interest. There were many sets of Japanese kimonos for adults and children, and decoration things. Specially the artificial Katsura (the wig of traditional hair style) was so funny. All visitors were enjoying this corner and even they had to make long line to wait for their turn. Many children enjoyed the origami corner. Japanese students who took the kimono were guiding them very kindly. All of them wanted to get the Chinese Kanji name written by the traditional oriental pen and the oriental writing style. Japanese students performed a very nice concert. All of them took Kimono and presented Japanese children songs, musical and comedy.

When we made the 1st event in the beginning of this year, it was organized very poorly. But these 4 events in this year brought many good result and experience for us. Specially this program was excellent for the Japanese student to unite . They got very precious joy in their life of faith through this opportunity. Each time when they finished the event they get more strong desire for the next event. In this year around 4,500 people came to this program throughout 4 events in Kharkov, Dniepropetrovsk and Zhitomir. Specially it was very big success in Zhitomir where around 3,000 people, almost pre-blessed families came.

This event is creating very good image about FFWPU & WFWP and Japanese. Many times the oriental people are the main target of the street police. This night of the 4th event one Japanese student was caught by police on the street and checked the passport. The police man said " today you made very nice event" and released him.

We will have more professional events in February of 1988 in Kiev, inviting the pre-blessed families. For this we started to register officially the Japanese student association cooperating with Japanese embassy.

Rev. Kyoung Hyo Kim is the regional director for Eastern Europe.

The Neutrino and the Blessing Ring

This article was written to celebrate the Blessing held in Korea, August 1992. It is being reprinted to honor the upcoming Blessing of 39.6 million at RFK Stadium.

I wanted to write about the Blessing but with a science angle. But I was stumped as to just what to write about.

Then, just the other day, by chance or design I cannot say, I was discoursing with an encyclopedic academic about this weird and exotic subatomic particle called the neutrino. I had just finished telling him that, while the sun was pouring trillions of them down into his body at that very moment, he need not worry about it as they were so indifferent to him that they would all pass on through and, as the earth itself was as nothing to them-a trillion miles of lead would not faze them-they would pour on out the other side unchecked. Same thing happens at night, of course, except this time they pour in at the feet and out of the head.

At that point I would have recited the poem "Cosmic Gall" by John Updike if I had been able to remember it:

Neutrinos they are very small
They have no charge and have no mass
And do not interact at all.
The earth is just a silly ball
To them through which they simply pass...
At night they enter at Nepal
And pierce the lover and his lass
From underneath the bed-you call / It wonderful; I call it crass.

My erudite friend thought about this curiosity, for a moment. Then, being well versed in the Principle, and knowing that God created all things with a purpose, he quite naturally asked, "What’s the purpose of the neutrino?"

I paused for a Buddha-moment of Illumination as I realized he had revealed the topic of my article for me. "The purpose of the neutrino," I pronounced, "is the Blessing Ring."

More correctly, if less intriguingly, at least one purpose of the neutrino is the creation of all the elements heavier than iron, including the much sought-after gold.

The Big Bang

You see, when God created the Universe, He didn’t make everything at once. In fact, just a few seconds after the moment of creation-what scientists with understatement call The Big Bang-all the matter in the universe was in the form of electrons, protons and neutrons. While the protons were stable and could wait around until things cooled down a bit to form hydrogen atoms with the electrons, the neutrons would fall apart into protons if left to themselves for longer than about eleven minutes.

In the ensuing few minutes, however, some of the neutrons hooked up with protons, forming helium nuclei, and escaped this fate.

So, the calculations of nuclear physicists tell us, when our universe was about an hour old, the matter it contained was about 80% free protons and the rest was helium nuclei.

Then, about a million years later, the universe had cooled enough and the separation period ended; the electrons embraced them and hydrogen and helium atoms formed. This was the first regular matter to appear and the universe still has, basically, the same composition today as it did back then-everything else is still just a minor constituent.

While this was a Good Beginning-it could hardly be otherwise-there was much to be done if the Plan was to progress, as it is difficult to build anything interesting-let alone the sons and daughters of God-out of just hydrogen and helium. Helium, in fact, is the "neutrino" of the atomic world-it is so indifferent to interaction that no one on earth even noticed it until its signature, so to speak, was noticed in the light coming from the sun. It took a little while longer to realize that almost a quarter of the universe is made of the stuff.

Hydrogen has a little more passion for give-and-take but, left to itself, about the most it can do is pair off into hydrogen molecules. Clearly, the work of creation had only just started.

The sun

Next step in the Plan was for the matter in the Universe, which at this point was pretty much a diffuse gas, to start clumping together under the influence of gravity. Just how this clumping occurred is currently a "hot topic" in the science world but, somehow, it happened.

Now you might have noticed when you were a kid that when you pump up a bicycle tire, the pump gets hot-compressing a gas heats it up. On a slightly larger scale, when trillions of tons of gas gravitationally fall together they also heat up. As things progress, the gas gets very hot and, when the temperature gets high enough, a miracle occurs: a star is born. No, not the Judy Garland kind! That came much, much later.

This ignition occurs because the combination of a proton and a neutron has a little less energy than two free protons, so when two protons get close enough to each other they have a tendency, though small, to shake off that extra energy so that one of the protons transforms into a neutron and the two unite together, creating a heavy-hydrogen nucleus, a little bit of free energy, and a neutrino.

The energy that is shaken off in this union is called the "packing fraction" to remind us that, as you pack protons and neutrons together into more complex nuclei, a fraction of their mass is given off as energy.

What happens to the gas falling into the proto-star is that, at a temperature of a few thousands of degrees, the heat breaks up the atoms of hydrogen back into free electrons and protons. The proton-proton interaction, however, needs tens-of-millions since positive charges repel each other. It is only when protons are moving at very high speed (which is what we call hot) that they can overcome this repulsion and get close enough together to have at least a chance to pair up.

It is exactly this process that fuels the sun today-that energy we soak up when sunbathing (or used to before its dark side was revealed) was shaken off by such a fusion of protons. It’s just as well that the tendency to fuse is slight, for if it were not, all the protons in the sun would pair off quickly and all the energy that the sun was planning to dribble out over the next five billion years or so would be released all at once-a hydrogen bomb to dwarf all man-made hydrogen bombs (which use the energy of an atomic bomb to overcome the reluctance of the hydrogen to fuse).

Just as hydrogen burns to form heavy-hydrogen, so heavy-hydrogen fuses to form helium-overall, our sun is burning its hydrogen to helium.

Big deal, you might say; there’s plenty of helium in the universe already!

The light elements

This is where God gets really clever. You see, gravity, as anyone falling off a bed will tell you, is inexorable: it will keep on pulling you down unless something stops it. While the gas that originally fell together to form the sun would like to continue falling in to the center, the massive release of fusion energy at the center of the sun heats things up so much that its outward pressure prevents it. The sun is stable: the massive inwards pull of gravity is exactly matched by the equally massive outwards pressure of the high temperature at the center.

This phase is expected to last, as mentioned, about five billion more years. One of these distant days, however, our sun will run out of hydrogen. All the fuel in the center will be gone and the fire will go out. Gravity will seize its chance to continue what it was doing ten billion years ago, and the sun will recommence collapsing. This will increase the pressure and temperatures will rise and rise until they reach the hundreds of millions and helium burning will start.

I’ll spare you the fascinating details but, in essence, helium nuclei, along with the occasional free proton or neutron, fuse together to create all the crucial elements that are needed for the construction of life: carbon, oxygen, calcium, etc., etc. All these light elements have positive packing fractions, so the helium burning releases energy. This release of energy halts the gravitational collapse, and the star reaches a new equilibrium.

This new equilibrium, however, is quite different from the old. The star becomes hugely bloated-our sun will engulf the earth-and massive amounts of material are ejected from the surface of the star into the interstellar space. Some of these Red Giants, as they are called, are called carbon stars precisely because they are pumping trillions of tons of carbon a day into outer space. All stars in their old age pump the heavier elements-carbon, oxygen, calcium, chlorine, etc., etc.-into outer space; they are the factories in which all the elements that living things are built out of are created.

Now, when new stars form out of the interstellar gas, there are small amounts of these materials present. In the process of the formation of our sun, some of the infalling gas didn’t make it all the way into the center and remained in orbit . When the sun ignited, it blew off most of the light hydrogen and helium leaving behind the heavier stuff in orbit, an aggregation we call the earth. On this, the Plan-at least its physical aspect-was completed and life and the Children of God developed.

We, and the world about us are, literally, made of star stuff!

Heavy elements

This scenario, however, does not account for the gold and the Blessing Rings. You see, while the packing fraction of the lighter elements is positive-energy is given off when they are formed out of lighter elements-the packing fraction for all the elements heavier than iron is negative-energy has to be put into their creation. And gold is a lot heavier than iron.

We have gravity to thank, as it turns out. For our sun, the phase of helium burning will continue until that, too, runs out and the core of the sun becomes mostly iron surrounded by onion rings of the lighter elements that never got hot enough to fuse. The fire will go out and gravity will seek a new, and final, equilibrium.

The pressure that halts this final collapse is the reluctance of electrons to be too close to each other: the gravitational pressure is resisted by this electron pressure, and the shrunken sun, still immensely hot, will enter into a long senescence as a white dwarf until, as it slowly cools-the carbon layer, incidentally, turning into a huge diamond which will be useful for engagement rings if we ever figure out how to get at it-to the chill of outer space, it will enter eternity as a black dwarf.

There is a limit to what the electron pressure can take, however. For stars somewhat bigger than our sun at the time of their final collapse, the crushing inward pull of gravity overcomes this electron pressure.

The electrons have nowhere to go but into the protons, giving out, in the process, a neutrino (we’re close to the gold now). All the matter at the center of the star converts into neutrons in a very short period of time, creating a never-yet-seen form of matter called neutronium and the core of the star transforms into a neutron star.

This sudden loss of the electron pressure causes the whole star to collapse rapidly inwards, releasing a vast amount of energy in the process which appears in the neutrinos. In regular matter, such neutrinos would escape carrying all their energy away, such as in the neutrinos created by the fusion in the sun which sail away perchance to pierce a lover and his lass. But neutronium, and the other exotic forms of matter created in the rapid collapse of the star, is not regular matter at all-it weighs in at a trillion tons a spoonful-and even neutrinos cannot pass through it with ease.

Much of the burst of neutrinos from the collapsing core is absorbed by these outer layers and dumps there a vast amount of energy. This causes these layers to blow asunder-the star explodes as a supernova and, for a while, it will outshine the whole galaxy of a million, billion suns. Some of the neutrinos do escape and six of them were detected when a star went supernova in 1987-six might not seem a lot but, for neutrinos and their reluctance to stop in the detector, it marked a massive flux of them passing through the earth from the dying star, even though it was trillions of miles away from us.

In the apocalypse of a supernova there is energy and more to spare-and iron, along with the other light elements, are slammed together with enough extra energy to create all the elements heavier than iron-including gold-which are then scattered throughout the heavens by the force of the explosion.

Gathered up with the lighter elements in the accretion of the planet earth, some of this gold, forged in the death throe of some ancient star, was lucky enough to end up on the finger of a child of God getting married.

So there you have it; neutrinos have their place in the Plan-for without neutrinos there would be no gold and Blessing Rings of iron would not be quite the same.

Congratulations all!

Slow Train to Moscow

by Joy Pople

The days were growing shorter and the night air crisper in late August, 1992, as the final seminars on Reverend Moon's teachings ended in the Baltics. Fourteen participants were returning by train to Moscow from our lake-side retreat in eastern Latvia, and I wanted to see Red Square and the Kremlin before returning home to Syracuse, New York, after a month of helping to teach Divine Principle and leading discussion groups.

People in my group at a previous seminar were outraged at being sent home on a third-class coach. Our staff had a logistic nightmare trying to arrange transportation for the 20,000 people who participated in the summer seminars. It was especially difficult to secure transportation back to Moscow at the end of the summer holidays. Special trains were chartered. We explained the circumstances and apologized for the inconvenient schedule, but there was no quelling the uproar. I wanted to deepen my foundation of heart with the Russian people by traveling with them. What started out as complaints changed to shock that an American wanted to travel third class with them.

A bus will take us to the train station. We collect our supply of food and say our goodbyes. I give away little gifts. I feel a special fondness for Tanya, the young English student from Minsk who was almost never at a loss for words as she translated my lectures. The camp coordinator gives me chewing gum and lifesavers to share on the train. The more I give away, the more I receive. The few people remaining at camp wave and sing. From inside the bus, we wave back. There are tears in some eyes.

Tatiana, the doctoral student in nuclear physics, and Xenia, the student of art history, want to sing from the workshop songbook. Xenia has a strong, high voice, but Tatiana is an alto, and periodically we change key in the middle of a song. I have become fond of the haunting melodies of several Russian folk songs, and after much practice I can stumble through most of the words Twenty three years ago I took a college course in Russian, and some things are familiar. We sing English and Russian songs the whole two-hour trip to the train station. A couple of teachers join in. I occasionally nod off, but the energetic girls never lose their verve.

Our train consists of a long line dark green or gray cars. Third class coaches have compartments with two sets of ledges and a small table between them. Across the passageway are two small seats with a table and a sleeping shelf above. The table collapses to form a sixth bed. There are no doors or curtains. All the lower bunks in the coach have been claimed by the time we board at 1:00 am in eastern Latvia. We will arrive in Moscow, some 400 miles away, around 8:00 pm Moscow time.

The women my age flock like mother hens around me, apologizing for the conditions on the train. They usher me to the last compartment, "where it will be quietest for you during the night." The people sleeping on the lower bunks don't stir. The women look anxious, and I tell them not to worry. They wonder whether I want an aisle space or the upper bunk of the compartment. I choose the latter . Luggage is stowed on the floor. Although somewhat aged and worn, the coach is fairly clean, and there are no signs of graffiti. There is a pillow and thin mattress rolled up on the ledge. Someone goes for sheets, a pillow case, and thin towel, and they arrange it for me. I'm very sleepy. The train sways a little from side to side, to rhythm of wheels turning against the rails. I remember nothing after my head hit the pillow.

I find out later that at least three of our group had to sit up until 4:00 am, when enough people left the train to clear space for them to stretch out. One of these was Alla, an English teacher who had stayed up until 2:00 the previous night trying to translate into English a poem written by her 13-year-old daughter in honor of the seminar. When asked how she feels, she shrugs and says she will sleep during the afternoon.

At 6:30 I am awakened and urged to move down to a compartment with an empty lower bunk. I will be more comfortable there, I am assured. To no avail I protest that I am comfortable now and in fact am quite capable of continuing to sleep where I am. Someone rolls up the bedding, and another person gathers my luggage. I am marched down the aisle. Amazing how people can't understand English when they don't want to hear your protests.

After an hour and a half, I am awakened again and told it is time to get up and eat. Bread, cheese and salami are laid out for me. I am not hungry yet. I have my own bag of food from camp. This time my no is accepted. Anyway, I don't feel like eating until I use the bathroom at the end of the coach, and I don't look forward to that visit. Everyone who returns from the bathroom reeks of old urine and feces. Xenia is concerned; she tells me not to use the bathroom until she shows me how to operate it. When it finally becomes free, she takes me there. The toilet hole empties onto the tracks. I suppose that people don't go for leisurely strolls along the railroad tracks in Russia. The faucet in the tiny sink releases water when you push up on a plunger. There is a smidgen of cake soap. The bare wooden floor is wet and slippery, and Xenia suggests that I stand or squat on the toilet seat and aim down. That's a little hard to do with the train moving.

There are small squares of newspaper for people who don't carry toilet paper (which I do). In earlier years the choice of toilet paper was one of the few unassailable methods of expressing divergent political opinions. One student told me in all seriousness that under Brezhnev, there was little paper available other than the abundant propaganda leaflets bearing his image; once the Soviet leader had to use the bathroom while touring a collective farm and found a stack of his likenesses strategically placed by the toilet.

During the 18-hour ride I sip a 16-ounce jar of orange drink and eat black bread, salami, tomatoes, cucumber, cheese, apples, boiled eggs, and a sweet roll. I use the bathroom only once.

"When we ride the train, we eat and sleep. There is nothing else to do," one woman explains. And it is true that people seem to eat all day long. However, there are creative ways to pass the time. We tell stories, sing songs, and hang out by one of the three windows on the coach that can be opened. As the afternoon wears on, the sun grows hotter and the air more stale. Where was all this warmth in the Baltics when we had a lake a short walk from our camp? We reminisce about swimming, even nighttime swimming in the chilly water .

Maybe a third of our group can carry on an English conversation. I ask people for comments about the seminar. Tatiana, who teaches high school physics in addition to taking university classes, suggests that the slides using scientific examples be more carefully worded. Nadyezhda, who always asked intriguing questions after each lecture, talks about her work as a child psychologist at a research institute in Moscow. I urge them to continue searching for truth and developing their spiritual life.

Tatiana and her brother Alexei, a mathematics student, sit and look out the window. People stretch out for naps. Last night's bus chorale becomes today's train chorale, and we sing softly so as not to awaken our elderly companion in the compartment. "You sound so feeble," Irene complains, one eyelid partly open. "What's the matter?"

"Oh, we didn't want to awaken you," Xenia replies.

"I'm not asleep," she grunts. "Anyway, it's too hot to sleep."

An unkempt man stretches out on the top bunk. Occasionally he climbs down and walks off down the passageway.

As the afternoon wears on, I wander down the car to collect addresses of our "train family" as I call it. Various combinations of people sit and chat. Rosalia the artist, at 72, was the eldest at the seminar and now on the train as well. Each afternoon at camp she climbed the glaciated hills to paint watercolor scenes, giving away many as gifts. I have one of her paintings. She is treated with the respect due her years. Vladimir gives me his business card. I decipher the Russian words and learn that he served abroad on Soviet trade missions. He has a dignity befitting his advanced years (well beyond the 55-year average lifespan of a Russian) and his diplomatic career. Sophia is pregnant; she is accompanied by a teenage son. Respected for her intelligence and stories of innovative teaching methods, Sophia speaks to me in slow, intense English, but we communicate more by heart than by vocabulary and syntax.

I feel ashamed that we were unable to arrange more suitable transportation for such people, but even our third-class tickets had been bought at exorbitant prices from scalpers. People had complained that our staff did not do its job properly, for although we had two tickets, each good for eight people, we found less than 16 empty berths upon boarding our coach. However, at each local stop, people come down the aisle carrying tickets for nonexistent seats. Those who are perceptive realize that the train employees simply sell more tickets than there are spaces. There is no longer even a hint of complaint. Reciprocal concern for others creates a warm, family atmosphere.

When I return to my compartment, I find the man from the upper bunk smiling in my direction. Irene holds out a book for me. It is a gift from our fellow traveler. When he learned that I was an American, he wanted to present it to me. The title is Hobo, a translation of an American book about riding trains. I can read it to practice my Russian, he says. Touched, and chagrined at my tendency to judge people by appearances, I accept the book graciously and offer some candy in return.

Irene is sweating. I fan her with a newspaper. She protests, but not too vigorously. More singing by the train chorale. Not too loudly, since some people are dozing. My fanning varies in its intensity, but it makes some difference. Eventually Irene wanders off to spend some time near on open window.

Periodically the train stops, sometimes at a station, other times for no apparent reason. Women pass through, carrying baskets or buckets, looking for a place to sit down. "This compartment is full," we tell them. It is true. There are seven of us sharing space for six.

Outside, the flat landscape is mostly forested, with evergreen trees and occasional large stands of birch. Passing through the vast expanses of woodland in western Russia, one wonders why people panic about global deforestation. In this forest and meadowland country there are occasional towns and cultivated fields. In contrast to the neat houses and intensively-planted garden plots in the Baltics, Russian buildings look dilapidated and the grounds around them are often unkempt. One woman tells me that Khrushchev forced the Russian peasants to sell their cattle and move to the cities, leaving only the elderly behind. There aren't enough people in the countryside to work the land and care for the buildings, she explains.

Russia does not grow enough food to feed its people, and the transition to a market economy is rocky. There was little freedom under Communist Party rule, but in Moscow at least there was food. People tend to forget the former and remember the latter. The women talk sadly about last winter, when there was little to buy but potatoes, and even they were sometimes scarce. Fortunate are the families with a grandmother to spend the day scouring the city for groceries.

Food prices have risen dramatically in recent months; beef that used to cost 2 rubles a kilo now sells for around 200. Salary increases lag far behind the inflation rate. A Moscow teacher earns about 2000 rubles a month. In addition to working full time, the women typically have to shop for food and do all the cooking, cleaning, child-care, and laundry. Hard times place stress on marriages, and I hear stories of recent divorces. The women shake their heads and wonder what the coming winter will bring.

One woman walks up and down the line of cars offering bottles of diet Pepsi (25 rubles), shampoo (110 rubles), and candy. She doesn't get any business from us. Irene is skeptical of the contents of the shampoo bottles. Constant eating doesn't seem to diminish the contents of our food bags.

Xenia comes running down the passage way; she has a lot of energy for any occasion. "The train will be at the station for five minutes. Let's get some fresh air." On the platform old-looking women are selling apples. We stretch and breathe deeply.

Back in our compartments, we look out the windows. "We’re close to Moscow," Xenia bubbles. She jumps up to watch the countryside give way to suburbs. Tall apartment complexes stretch above the decrepit buildings and unkempt empty plots. "I'm almost home." Then her mood changes. She called home to tell her parents what train she was to travel on, but she didn't know which of several Moscow stations it would arrive at. Maybe her mother would be waiting for her at the wrong station.

Earlier, Xenia said she is a descendant of the noble family that killed the infamous Rasputin. The older women beam at Xenia and add for my benefit details about her well-known ingenious and persistent ancestors.

People put on fresh clothes for their arrival in Moscow. They are surprised that I don't want to change as well. The only place that affords privacy is the bathroom. I look down at my tee shirt and cotton slacks and decide they will do. I will stay two nights with Alla and her daughter before riding another slow train back to Riga, Latvia, to catch my return flight to New York.

We pull into a train station of blue and white stucco with several barrel arches flanking a large vaulted entrance. There I am able to buy a second-class ticket to Riga. In contrast to the congenial atmosphere among seminar participants, the three young people who share my compartment enroute to Riga raise their eyes from their pornographic newspapers only to gobble down food.

As we disembark in Moscow, the gray evening sky unleashes a downpour. There was no opportunity to take a shower on the train, so one greets us upon our arrival. Xenia introduces me to her smiling mother and insists that I use her umbrella until we get inside the station. I try to assemble everyone for a photo, but the rain isolates people in forlorn clumps. The dreariness of the rain tempers the sadness of saying goodbye. On the other hand, the rain is refreshing and cleansing, symbolic of our experience at the seminar.

Secrets for a Successful Marriage

by Dr. Deitrich Seidel-NYC

When it comes to building a successful marriage the steps to take often seem hidden and enigmatic. However, after taking a closer look, it involves a simple approach and common sense. The reason that the obvious appears to be concealed is due to undesirable habits which penetrate our marital life. Routines within our daily lives and frequent stretches of over-commitment can create a certain fog for husband and wife in their marriage relationship. Thus, we may lose sight of basic attitudes and skills that are essential for a vital marriage. However, once we realize the need for eliminating this marriage fog, we find ourselves rediscovering simple principles for marital happiness. We then can bring the secrets for successful marriage into the daylight.

How shall we decide what is really important for strengthening our marriages? Recently, I experienced a serious snow storm that left dozens of trees uprooted in my neighborhood including two giant ones in my own backyard. I vividly recall the rushing sound when the trees came tumbling down with a great thump. Their mighty trunks lying down with their roots exposed in the sunlight seemed to convey to me one last message: "We tried hard but we were not anchored deeply enough!"

This whole experience illustrated for me the importance of strong roots and an unyielding foundation as it applies specifically to the communion of marriage. According to marriage experts Stinnet and Trotman, great emphasis is given to the spouses' character development, their attitude and internal disposition. In fact, most advice has to do with strengthening the roots of human relationships. Like the roots of a tree, our internal disposition also needs to be firmly grounded in the solid foundation of our value system and world view so that we can brave even the greatest storms.

To achieve a good marriage, we need to develop two areas, namely, internal attitudes and external skills. Internal attitudes have to do with our spiritual lives which define the roots of our marriages, while external skills focus on building and nourishing our marital bond. As we can well imagine, only the harmonious interaction of these two areas will lead to the realization of successful marriages. The following points of advice address not only the roots of marital life but also basic interactive skills with which we will be able to nourish and develop our relationship as a couple.

1. Have a strong religious conviction. Husband and wife discover the deepest roots of their marriage in their living relationship with God. True family values emerge from that relationship, providing consistent guidance and inspiration for the life-long task of marriage building. In fact, all internal attitudes as outlined in the following paragraphs are rooted in our perception of God's will and the experience of his parental love. Marriage without a solid spiritual foundation is like a house built on sand.

2. Develop the habit of praying as a couple. Our daily communication with God becomes the life line for our spiritual development. In particular, our prayers as couples for the sake of the well-being of family members and other people cultivate our spiritual disposition to live for the sake of others. Soon we will discover that the habit of prayer in marriage is a win-win situation as we also develop the virtue of living for the sake of our spouse. Be creative if differing schedules do not give you enough time for daily prayers. Surprise your partner with a prayer on the phone or by using E-mail.

3. Make loving your spouse a conscious decision. The internal disposition of a lasting commitment in marriage is based on the daily decision to make your spouse the number one priority in your life. Such a heartfelt appreciation of your partner is rooted in an ever present awareness of his or her absolute uniqueness as God's son or daughter. In fact, we can develop an overwhelming sense of appreciation of the special qualities of our mate as a human being that in turn commands a response of love and respect. With such a mind set, we will actively avoid the trap of taking each other for granted. Rather, we realize that a perpetual sense of newness in our marital relationship emerges from the simple habit of honoring our "better half". We may honor our spouse not only by expressing gratitude, appreciation or a sincere compliment, but more importantly by practicing a spirit of service. "I love you" is then communicated as "I care about our life together".

To persevere in our conscious decision to honor and love our marriage partner may sometimes turn out to be a challenging task when facing each other's immaturities and weaknesses. We find ourselves battling a self-centered interpretation of what it means to love our mate. In fact, we are exposed to a culture that seems to operate on a fifty-fifty proposition for living out the marriage contract. This means, I love you if you love me. It explains the impoverishment of the marriage bond in terms of only offering conditional love to each other. However, in order to succeed in marriage, we need to turn to the hundred-hundred proposition of unconditional love. Only such a proposition of genuine self-giving will enable us to mobilize sufficient patience in times of difficulties and stress.

Decide to plan some time together on a weekly basis , just you and your spouse spending "essential time" removed from the "urgent time" of our daily pressing agendas. Turning off the TV and talking to your spouse is one step in the right direction. Demonstrate in no uncertain terms that your spouse is number one in your life by showing plenty of affection, may it be through hugs or back rubs, or acts of kindness and service like helping with cleaning the house or doing the dishes.

4. Learn effective communication skills. Kathy and Mark are one of those couples who are serious about improving their marriage. They have realized that it is not sufficient merely to endure an unfulfilled relationship but they are looking for new avenues to turn their marriage into an exciting and satisfying adventure. They have come to understand that one issue deserves particular attention, namely, improving their communication skills. They have decided to focus on honestly communicating their feelings on a given issue or event. Before starting their dialogue, they agreed to follow certain rules that will enable them to build a safe atmosphere for communicating. It is like agreeing to the rules of a game. Within the framework of observing clear rules one can expect a joyful and meaningful result. This also holds true for developing communication skills, especially if the couple wants to discuss sensitive issues that underlie their marital relationship. Here, an atmosphere of mutual trust and openness becomes indispensable and it needs to be built with patience, care and a clear focus.

Here is a set of rules Kathy and Mark agreed upon:

(1) we agree to make an appointment for discussing a sensitive topic, clearly defining place and time.

(2) we determine to limit our dialogue to the one topic that we previously selected

(3) we each write for ten minutes one brief but loving letter to our spouse expressing with empathy our feelings about a certain issue

(4) we read each other's letter carefully twice

(5) we start our dialogue explaining to each other the feelings we have based on the letter we received

(6) we observe the rule of active and empathic listening

(7) we patiently discuss possible solutions for solving the previously defined difficulty or problem.

(8) we agree to implement a clear course of action for improving our situation

(9) we limit our dialogue to thirty minutes (or any suitable length)

(10)we agree when to meet again for discussing the effectiveness of our course of action.

The above listed points outline one possible set of rules. It is up to the couple to find rules they are comfortable with. As long as they observe the essential skill of empathic listening, their dialogue will move in the right direction. Emphatic listening means that you as the listener repeats the major points of your partner's message in an emotionally responsive manner so that your spouse is assured of being fully understood.

5. Become best friends as a couple. Friendship is the result of sharing common interests whereby the daily practice of kindness and respect creates an atmosphere of joy and trust. For the couple to build their friendship they need to take time to share mutually fulfilling activities. In this way they fill their hearts with joyful memories and develop a team spirit that will enable them to maintain an optimistic outlook on their marriage even in difficult times.

To be best friends means to enjoy each other's company, not in a pleasure seeking superficial way but by exploring our partner's inner world, thus creating an atmosphere of mutual understanding. Friendship is also carried by the courage to have fun together. Often our marriages are driven by a sense of duty, the calling to fulfill a never ending list of responsibilities. Here, it takes courage to break the routine and to share fun activities together such as listening to our favorite music, going on a skiing trip or spending an afternoon at the bowling alley. The idea is not to escape our responsibilities, but to allow new life and joy to enter our marriages. The benefits from husband and wife being best friends are indeed beyond any rational calculation.

In summing up the above issues, we can say that, once our internal attitudes are firmly rooted in a vibrant spiritual life, we are prepared to focus on relational skills that will strengthen our marriages. Today, we often find an imbalance between caring for our spiritual life and becoming more proficient in communication skills. On the one hand, there are numerous sincere believers who practice a spiritual path but are still ineffective in their attempt to improve their marriages and family relationships. On the other hand, we witness the rather limited success of secular marriage counselors who would only employ psychological insights in their practice, thus fighting a losing battle against the alarming decline of family life. A balanced approach is needed that combines the strengthening of internal attitudes based on religious convictions with the development of external skills that prove their effectiveness within the daily life of husband and wife.

Response to Negative Times-Picayune Article

by Edgar M. Sierra Jimenez

I wrote this letter to the editor, published in the New Orleans Times-Picayune, in response to a negative article about True Father. My friends Thomas L. Smith, a lawyer, and Mr. Carlos Castillo, a restaurateur, contributed to the body and argument of the letter. Although they are not members, they are both well informed about Father and the teachings of the Divine Principle.

In general, the response to the letter was positive. I hope we can combat the bad publicity with the truth.

Your take on Pure Love Alliance morally faulty

James Gill’s Aug. 31 column on the Rev. Sun Myung Moon’s Pure Love Alliance not only ridiculed family values but also reflected the liberal view that under the First Amendment individuals are free to degenerate and destroy society.

I totally disagree with Gill’s premise that freedom of speech gives people the right to slander religion, just as freedom of speech doesn’t give people the right to denigrate black people, incite violence against Jews or to advocate the violent overthrow of our government.

Whether Mr. Gill knows it or not, there are restrictions to freedom of speech.

If freedom of speech does not extend to advocating the violent overthrow of our government, it should not extend to overthrowing the family via pornography. Women should not be treated as objects; their sexual exploitation has nothing to do with pursuing the truth and everything to do with the destruction of family values.

Why should people be free to destroy the very foundations of society, which is the family?

Why are individuals like Mr. Gill so interested in ridiculing long-proven beliefs such as chastity before marriage, fidelity within marriage, and marriages between men and women?

No one can deny that these are solid foundations to a stable society. Could it be that Mr. Gill has been so corrupted by the advocates of political correctness to the point that virginity, chastity and fidelity are values that he ridicules when he says, "These virgins, being moralizers, are so humorless that they cannot see how funny they are. Any group that can urge others to ‘honk for purity’ lacks a sense of the absurd."

This attitude of tolerance toward promiscuity and pornography is the reason behind the rapid decline of family values in this land. Instead of promoting family values, Mr. Gill should denounce rap artists for promoting sodomy in their lyrics, and homosexuals for promoting a political agenda based on homosexuality.

Instead of ridiculing the Pure Love Alliance, Mr. Gill should praise and commend these "crusaders for chastity," as he calls them, because they are trying to reverse the obvious trend of self-destruction in our country. Until our moral compass does an about-face and changes drastically, we will continue on our path toward destruction.

How long can our country survive when the very foundations which built this great land of ours are whittled away by perverted advocates of decadence who justify their immorality with the First Amendment?

Reflection on a 21-Day Condition and PLA

by Victoria Wilding-Blaine, WA

My internal goal for this condition was to inherit True Parents tradition by trying my best to practice the poem "Total Investment" by True Father. My external goal was $140 a day (first week), $185 a day (second week), and $210 a day (third week). Through my internal goal I wanted to grow closer to God by understanding His heart, feel True Parents as my own parents, and liberate God’s Heart. Actually, I didn’t go over my internal goal for the condition at all after I wrote it. Instead I focused more on weekly and daily goals. That’s why I feel I was able to only partially achieve my internal goal.

Fortunately, I didn’t neglect my conditions like I did my internal goal for the condition. Although several times I couldn’t finish my conditions because of fundraising late into the night, I do feel I accomplished something. One condition I had throughout the 21-day was seven pages of Divine Principle reading. When I was able to finish the seven pages, and even when I wasn’t able to, reading Divine Principle really made me more vertical and serious about doing God’s Will. Many times I did have to deny myself (my sleepy, fallen self, that is), in order to read, but it was always worth it to be able to understand God’s Heart a little more, even if it was in a logical (as opposed to heartistic) way. However, a couple of times I was able to receive small revelations connecting DP to fundraising. For example, when I was reading about Isaac (at about my age) willingly offering himself as a sacrifice, I felt like I should march forward in my life of faith even though I know it may cost me my life. Another time, I could relate Abraham’s dividing the sacrifices to our fundraising experience. I felt in fundraising, since we get the opportunity to dissect our characters and purge all the fallen nature, it was like separating the good from evil and letting the good prevail (as Abraham symbolically did).

Next, my view of PLA has shifted since the tour. During the tour I had a more glamorous image of PLA than I do now. I’ve realized how much work we have yet to do. At the same time, I have a deeper appreciation for the PLA’s mission and understand more profoundly how desperately America and the world need to follow the PLA’s path. Once, during a house run, I met these people who were all addicted to drugs and seemed to have Chapter Two problems. One of them asked me if he’d go to hell if he committed suicide. I felt so much pity for him and tried to encourage him not to do such a horrible thing as taking away God’s gift of life. I felt I was able to experience a touch of God’s pain when He looks at this world in such a fallen state. I felt, if only everybody practiced Absolute Sex, we would have strong families which supported each other; we would have true love, we would have so much happiness. This is how crucial PLA is; we literally are out to save this world. Nothing but Absolute Sex can do it. Purity is this important. By purity I mean purity before marriage, a purity of love for one spouse within marriage. It is like the cement of a true family. And true families are everything. Because in strong, true families, there is true love. And once we have true love, sacrificial love, we have a foundation to solve all problems. Personally, I still have a long way to go before my love is absolutely pure. My love is often self-centered and my actions are often not sacrificial. I have many regrets, but I feel I still have ample opportunity to cleanse myself. I just have to discipline myself (and also go to Chung-pyung).

During this condition there were several times I was able to experience God’s pain, but also God’s love, through the people I met. For example, I would feel God’s pain when I met a man with at least three wives, and I could feel God’s love when someone would willingly offer their money (even though it was scarce). Many times, I could cry in prayer and thus grow a little bit closer to God, and thus grow a little bit closer to God, but usually after I experienced something during a run, feeling God’s pain or repentance. I think I can improve my prayers by trying to be more sincere instead of formal, and by saying things from my heart. I can put my prayers into action but many times I’ve broken or forgotten my promises to God because of my own lack of effort or self-centeredness.

The goals for this condition were to inherit True Parents’ tradition, inherit Jin Hun Nim’s tradition and having mind and body unity. I feel I was able to inherit True Parents and Jin Hun Nim’s tradition even a little because I lived a more public life, and sacrificed my personal desires for the sake of the American people, Jin Hun Nim, True Parents and God, by working on the front line. Also, I feel these three weeks have really helped me to get out of my shell and be my real self. This way, I can really see clearly what I’m lacking and must improve. I think my faith has become more sincere and less external. Also, I could see how spirit world worked whenever I denied myself (such as going into a fancy restaurant or being grateful for indemnity and as a result, receiving blessing later on). I desired to invest totally in these three weeks, but I regret not being able to invest 1000% because my own laziness and self-centeredness. Also, many times I didn’t think of God. I feel I should constantly talk to God and invite Him into my life.

Last, I like our team a lot and feel we get along very well. Maybe, though, we could be more serious sometimes instead of being relaxed and playful (ex-mornings we should think more of God, money counting or offering time). Also, we could make more effort to be alert and punctual.

In conclusion, I feel I’ve changed a great deal since the first day and I was glad to end the condition with an offering heart.

Pure Love Alliance National Summer Tour

by Michelle Myers-Washington, DC

"Absolute Love, Absolute Life, Absolute Sex...That’s Right!" blared 280 youths in roaring synchronicity in downtown Denver, Colorado bringing passersby to a quick halt and a quizzical expression. They marched with the precision of a finely tuned military brigade and chanted with the same unity. Their multi-colored placards and pickets pumped up and down as one, visible for blocks in the distance. Their common voice echoed equally far, prompting people to suspend their conversations and scan the area for the cause of this relentless howl. For many of these surprised city-dwellers, the purpose for this multitude of young marchers was not immediately clear, yet the power and passion behind their common cry forced everyone’s instant attention. Those so pulled to inquire asked, "What’s this all about?"

"We are the Pure Love Alliance and we are 300 young people on a national tour promoting sexual purity before marriage and fidelity within marriage...ABSOLUTE LOVE, ABSOLUTE LIFE...," they shouted on. Some would break into a question frenzy, wanting to know how to get in touch with us, work with us or join us, as though they suddenly forgot everything else they had to do in their lives. Some took our flier, replied "Oh" and continued in stride as though they see mobs of screaming youths on the hour. And some, with the word "purity" uttered, reacted "Not for me," and scurried away, occasionally glancing back to ensure there was a good distance expanding between us.

As our shirts read "Pure Love ’97-Absolute Sex National Tour," we were without question a controversial force for almost everyone we met from coast to coast across the United States.

Jin Hun Nim announced the tour at a CARP leaders’ meeting in May in New York City with no forewarning to most of the attendees. He spoke passionately of his anguish and disgust at the ill effect of the exported filth with which America polluted the rest of the world-how he saw with his own eyes how America’s influence tainted the centuries-old family traditions of different nations and cultures. He saw the importance of changing the tide of the American moral decline as a global responsibility and even shared his worries about the future of his own children. He chided us on declaring the mission of the Pure Love Alliance and the Pure Love Tour to "ruffle the feathers" of America and ignite a "new sexual revolution." With the fire of loyalty to True Parents and the desperate concern of a father for the safety of his children, he poured out his heart to us.

The entire tour was organized in a matter of weeks. Many young CARP members were immediately promoted to heightened leadership positions and forced to quickly expand their scope of responsibility. This was part of an intentional plan Jin Hun Nim foresaw to pass ownership to members and refine their leadership skills for the coming "revolution".

We all converged July 28 on Los Angeles, as Howard Self once described, still "building the plane as we flew." Over 200 second generation members gathered in L.A., most making last-minute decisions to join the tour, meeting with about seventy CARP members. We had only a few days to prepare for our first public rally on July 4 which would include dancing STDs, a live hard-rock band, a squad of unified hip-hop dancers, a twelve-sister choir, a Won Hwa Do exhibition, a drama team, trained Absolute Sex speakers and the ceaseless behind-the-scenes details which go with effective stage management.

Suddenly, God opened a surprise window of opportunity to all of us. Days before our first scheduled public rally, we found out that the mayor of Los Angeles was being inaugurated for his second term. It came to our attention just the day before the event. We dropped everything and the entire tour membership began cranking out placards demanding that the mayor immediately halt the production of child pornography for which L.A. County leads the world. The 300 PLA members shocked the mayor, his associates, the L.A. Police Department, the media and ourselves. We were immediately broadcast on several L.A. television stations the same day we overran the police barriers and successfully demanded a photo with the mayor. This incident foreshadowed, in many ways, the path of the entire tour. In many cases, the unbridled vigor of the PLA members removed many obstacles and won continuous positive media coverage. Our ability to gear into quick mobilization based on Jin Hun Nim’s inspiration progressively increased. In some cases we did impromptu unplanned rallies which attracted the press without any prior media notice. To say the least, this kept everyone on their toes. Excited by our success and optimistic at the potential of our united effort, we left L.A. with zeal and anticipation to take on San Francisco-a guaranteed challenge.

As expected, the San Francisco media was mischievously preparing for our arrival. We were confronted with our first hard lessons of the snares and traps of the negative media. Some television stations tried to pin us as a front group for the Unification Church with a hidden agenda. This was one of the incidents which prompted Jin Hun Nim to call for an organized educational program during the tour to give PLA members solid skills in conveying the ideals of the Pure Love Alliance, even in the face of a potentially negative media. Outside of San Francisco, negative coverage was almost nonexistent. However, Jin Hun Nim’s concern for preparing PLA members to be able to return to their homes and centers with the refined skills to establish and build strong PLA chapters in their high schools and universities had us all strive for three prescribed areas of excellence: 1) excellent Absolute Sex speakers, 2) excellent ralliers, and 3) excellent fund-raisers.

We continued up the West Coast, studying and fraternizing on the long bus rides. Through Sacramento, Portland and Seattle we tightened up our marching skills, added to our stage performances, expanded our repertoire of seasoned Absolute Sex speakers and all the time enjoyed the consistent turnout of the media in every city to celebrate pure love with us.

Father always taught us: the more we go through difficulties, the more we can understand God’s heart. We met God in Yellowstone National Park. Yes, we were awe-inspired by the great waterfalls and caverns as well as the wild animals. But it was not until that night when the temperature dropped to 30 degrees that many of the summer-clad campers became very intimate with Heavenly Father. Despite our varied experiences, we can all agree that we will not forget our mountain top stay in the wilderness.

After Yellowstone, we moved on to Salt Lake City, which concluded the first portion of the tour before a Boulder, Colorado workshop with Rev. Sudo. Salt Lake City was exceptionally positive in its coverage and did extended interviews with Akiko Ikeno and Bo Jones, who would continue to be key PLA spokespeople.

The Boulder workshop was much needed to gain some internal spiritual food and allow members time to reflect on the issue of purity on a personal level. We also held our first Absolute Sex lecture competition. The finalists to represent each of thirty teams were chosen at random, which required everyone to train hard, not knowing if they would be chosen to represent their whole team. This demanded team unity and support, and drove members to give their very best. The final night in Boulder, Jin Hun Nim called for a marathon entertainment celebration which brought out five hours of skits, dances, poetry, bands and jokes, fueled by pure youthful enthusiasm. Jin Hun Nim encouraged us at the close of the evening, and we were fully charged to launch into the rest of the tour.

We made some surprise stops at Madison and Milwaukee before continuing to Chicago for a three-day engagement. Our Chicago schedule was the most demanding thus far of the tour. The first day we kept a non-stop schedule from early morning fund-raising to a midday downtown rally and march, followed by another rally at Playboy headquarters, complete with a media-covered "bunny" burning and stomping session to an evening pure love forum at the University of Illinois at Chicago. The following day, half the PLA joined in house-to-house pre-blessings with Chicago members, while the other half traveled to Bloomington, Indiana to protest the infamous Kinsey Institute and declare the end of the sexual revolution.

We continued to Detroit, Toronto and then to UTS for a two-day break where we shared personal testimonies, held a blessing workshop and prepared for the final stage of the tour with precision militarized marching and chanting training for the challenge of the upcoming big three: Boston, New York and Washington DC.

Boston was also the site of an event which demands mention. We held our second Absolute Sex speech competition there. This contest was almost beyond description. Brothers and sisters who were timid and awkward in Boulder now exploded into Heavenly impassioned fire breathers. They had all matured greatly in both their logical and heartistic expressions not only of the pain and misery of broken families and false love but also of their longing and determination to strive for pure love for themselves and the world. Not only did the speakers pour out their hearts in front of 300 observers, but those listening responded with deafening applause and encouragement until the auditorium was like a whirlwind of vitality element lifting everyone to the clouds. Sun Hee Mudgett won first place. Jin Hun Nim’s vision of tapping into the true potential of the second generation was becoming a reality.

Albany, Boston and Bridgeport preceded New York City, where we had a chance to really test our skills by giving a series of public Absolute Sex speeches on 42nd Street in Manhattan, directly in front of the SIECUS headquarters, the notorious promoters of comprehensive sex education. Jin Hun Nim then called for a strong indemnity condition to support Father in his declaration of "The Realm of the Cosmic Sabbath for the Parents of Heaven and Earth." We marched through Manhattan for four hours, convening in Central Park and praying in unison at the moment of Father’s declaration in Korea.

The tour continued in full throttle to Philadelphia, Atlanta, Richmond and Baltimore, culminating in Washington, DC. Our march participants swelled to about 500 here in DC as PLA members hit the height of their enthusiasm upon receiving Mayor Barry’s greeting and reading of the Pure Love Pledge with them.

The extended accommodations and rally preparations provided by the DC Unification Church community were exceptional and much appreciated by the PLA. In Jin Hun Nim’s closing words of the tour in DC he specifically called for appreciation of the parents of the second generation, whose continued attendance to True Parents allowed their children to be part of this victorious national offering.