The "Study-in-Korea Program" and Personal Growth: Teenagers Come to Understand their Roots

by Stephen Wright-College Park, MD

If you've heard of the Study-in-Korea Program, you probably thought it was primarily an opportunity to have some interesting experiences in a different country, learn some Korean, and maybe visit a few buildings that have something to do with the founding of our church. The program does include living and learning in a country and culture very different from our own, learning ten times more Korean, the language of our scripture and descendant thought (sasang), than one could learn without going there, and lots of field trips some of which give students a chance to see important historical Unification Church landmarks

The real value of the program, however, goes far beyond these features. When parents think about the education of their children, it is natural for them to want their children to have experiences that will be conducive to intellectual and spiritual development. I believe this program may offer the best combination of these two aspects that I have seen in my two decades of Unification Church life

Spiritual Development

Those of us who found depth and inspiration in our founder, his teachings, and his movement naturally hope that others we know (and most of all our children) might benefit from the profound value we've experienced. Around the time children become teenagers, they really start thinking seriously about some of the important questions in life, including religious questions, questions about themselves and their roles, and perhaps questions like "Do I really believe in God?" and "Do I really want to be a member of the Unification Church?" Experiencing meaning and vitality as we did is not automatic-each person is endowed by God with an apportionment of responsibility to be a co-creator of the person he or she will become, and makes thousands of decisions affecting the course of spiritual, or faith, development

A very important factor for teenagers is peer influence. Ideally, our children should have the opportunity to be around and to make friends with other second-generation children. Repeatedly, the blessed children have testified that when they are with each other they feel free to be themselves and to be natural, rather than feeling pressure to conform to values that are artificial and that they do not share, like most of the ones they encounter at school. The value of a context where second-generation children can be together with each other should not be underestimated. Their interaction is more than just having a good time; without realizing it, they are contributing to the building of a new culture, a shimjong culture

There is another important benefit of the Study-in-Korea Program that may be hard for those who haven't had the opportunity to live in Korea for an extended period to understand fully. While Unificationism has qualities of universality unsurpassed by other systems of thought, it has also benefited immeasurably from the richness of oriental, and in particular, Korean, culture. Though our church's providential historical roots are Judeo-Christian, it was born in the soil of Korea. There is subtlety and depth in this culture which has nourished and informed our tradition in ways that one can naturally come to appreciate through living in Korea, but that might be difficult to understand otherwise

More concretely, the program provides a situation in which one's life of faith can be cultivated, taking place in the context of daily prayer and regular religious education such as Sunday school and Principle study, and set in a culture more oriented toward the songsang, and thus more supportive, than is normally the case in the West

Intellectual Development

There is a good balance between the religious and the academic. Sonhwa Middle School and Sonhwa High School (home of the Little Angels-Sonhwa School was originally founded as "The Little Angels' School"), are magnet schools, and are rated among the best few schools in Korea for drawing top students for admission. The academic standard of the program created especially for our (foreign) students has developed and is quite strong. In my experience, blessed children are generally above average intellectually and in terms of their potential to excel academically. This is magnified further by the increasing selectivity due to growing numbers of applicants.

Like the situation at magnet schools or selective colleges, where there are many good students, the Study-in-Korea Program is intellectually stimulating and challenging. Students also normally receive full academic credit upon returning to their home countries for their time spent studying in Korea, including in many cases those that attend for several years. The Study-in-Korea Program consists of several stages of study opportunities

The "General Orientation Program" runs for one academic year (10 1/2 months), from the beginning of September to the middle of July. It is a general introduction to Korea, to Korean culture, and to the Korean language. Intensive Korean study (about three to four classroom hours per day with very capable instructors) is complemented by classes (taught by qualified western teachers) in Math, English Literature, Social Studies (Korean culture, including the Unification Church in Korea), and Physical Education.

For qualified students who wish to attend Sonhwa Middle School, there is a 6-month "Preparation Program" tailored specifically to this purpose, which consists in large part of intensive Korean study including an introduction to the textbooks that will actually be used in the first year of Middle School. After entering Middle School in March, the students attend regular classes with Korean students, where the normal curriculum of Korean schools is studied: mathematics, science, history, literature, social studies, ethics, physical education, music, art, etc. Students also choose a particular arts concentration such as music, voice, dance, or painting. A very few students go on to attend Sonhwa Arts High School

Yearbook

A school yearbook entitled International Blessed Children in Korea tells the story of the blessed children who were studying at the Sonhwa School in Korea in '91 and '92. Made by the students, there are a lot of pictures, testimonies, and explanations of experiences-a great way to get a look at the program from the students' point of view 62 pages, 8 1/4 x 11 1/2 inch format. $5.00 includes shipping (overseas: airmail-$9, by boat-$6)

Send a check or money order made out to "Korean Studies Scholarship Fund" to Stephen Wright at the address in the inset box

Applications

If your son or daughter was born between 1/1/82 and 12/31/83 and is in the sixth or seventh grade (not having repeated a year), and would like to go to Korea this September, please contact Tom or Carolyn Burkholder, or your regional representative (see inset box). The application deadline is March 31-please pass the word!

Financial Support

This program has always been partially funded by scholarship money provided by the founder of Sonhwa School, Rev. Sun Myung Moon. Because many other of his philanthropic endeavors are competing for attention, and with increasing numbers of participants in the program, however, the cost to the parents of the teenagers who go has gradually increased.

One of the ideals in the founding of this program was that blessed children from around the world would have the opportunity to study together in the homeland of their faith. It's a shame that the children of some of our most dedicated brothers and sisters, giving themselves wholeheartedly to their work in the difficult environment of a third world country, are effectively excluded because of financial constraints.

The need is also pressing for many American students. If you feel you can contribute to this worthwhile investment in our future, please send a check or money order for any amount made out to "Korean Studies Scholarship Fund" to Tom or Carolyn Burkholder (see inset box), and please specify how you would like the money used if you have a preference. Thank you so much

Position Available

The program is looking for a couple to replace Malcolm and Suemi Allan in Korea as dorm parents and teacher(s). They will be leaving this summer, and ideally at least one member of the replacement couple should go earlier. There is another couple there too, Steve and Jerry Tamayo, but going early would allow an opportunity to learn also from the Allans, who have been there for three years.

The job would include caring for the children as their parents would, taking primary responsibility for spiritual guidance, religious education, and at least one member of the couple should have a college degree and be capable of teaching Math, English literature, and/or Social Studies (we have a curriculum already in place) to seventh and eighth graders.

You must really have a heart for the children, helping to create a nurturing environment, but you also need to have the capability to be responsible for their intellectual growth and life-of-faith education. Please contact Tom or Carolyn Burkholder, 151 South St., Peekskill, NY 10566, for more information and for a staff application

Stephen Wright and his wife were dorm parents and teachers at Sonhwa School in Korea for three years. He is presently pursuing a Ph.D. in Education and Human Development at the University of Maryland.

Seeing Folk in a New Light

by Shamala Velu & Leong Hon Yuen

Through the ages, people have tended to fight rather than embrace each other over religious differences. It's something we still see happening all over the world. So when a group of people feel it should be otherwise, what they do must be worth taking notice of.

Enter the Religious Youth Service, a group which aims to foster unity and world peace through its programs.

Introduced during the "Assembly of the World's Religions" in 1985, RYS initiates activities among youths to allow them to participate in inter-religious activities to broaden individual insights.

Themed The Family, 34 participants aged between 15 and 40, of various faiths, fought off mosquitoes, bugs and bees to set an environment for greater understanding and respect for each other's beliefs.

Among the participants were local professionals, university and college students as well as foreign representatives from Gambia, Japan, Sri Lanka, the Philippines and Singapore.

They quickly got acquainted and were soon addressing each other as "sister-this" or "brother-that."

The days started at 7am with morning prayers. The Muslim participants were the first to demonstrate how their prayers were conducted; the following day, the youths learned how to meditate and pray from the Hindus.

Project director Sabar Md Hashim said that inter-religious activities such as morning prayers reflect the universality of all religions.

One of the highlights of the program was the mini-service projects where the youths developed skills and teamwork.

One team tackled the jungle treks connecting the Spices and Beverage Garden to the Orchid Garden. Armed with parangs, the youths cleared a 300m stretch of prickly palms one morning. The next morning, they cleared half a hectare of land meant for growing medicinal herbs.

The second team repaired a 330 meter-long wooden bridge located behind a bicycle rent shop.

Singing and sweating at the same time, the girls carried wooden planks to the boys who lifted away rotten wood and hammered in the new planks.

Other than working on service projects, there were educational lectures and sessions on group dynamics.

In the former, all three speakers occasionally diverted from their topic, preferring instead to talk about their personal experiences and childhood days.

Ghazali Datuk Mohd Yusoff, Pure Life Society Orphanage vice-president, gave an inspirational talk on Accommodating Modern Goals and Maintaining Traditional Values.

He emphasized the importance of human values and education for the positive growth of society. "You can always solve economic problems in society, but you cannot re-introduce lost human values." Young children should be taught about honesty, caring and sharing in order to develop a moral society, he added.

"Success must be balanced with religion and tradition. Religious teachings are linked with social responsibility."

Prof. Datuk Dr. Khoo Kay Kim, speaking on Three Generations under One Roof, describe how Western ideas have influenced the thinking of Malaysian youth.

"There's been a great deal of Western influences which have brought about this belief that it's very important for everyone to seek their own happiness," he said.

"So if you feel that the best way for you to be happy is to leave everyone including your parents behind, you do it. But I was brought up differently. I was told that it was always important to sacrifice for others, whether for parents, friends or siblings.

"I had responsibilities towards my parents, like sending them money. But my children are not doing that. They still make me pay for (almost) everything. My sons' relationship with me is not the same as my relationship with my parents."

Datuk Paduka Hajjah Saleha Mohd Ali, speaking on Values and Norms in the Family, emphasized the family as the primary cell in society, which she said must be protected with great care.

"We must not lose our traditional Asian values, of which the most important one is the institution of the family," she said.

She also focused on the importance of the mother's role in society. "A woman would benefit more if she is economically independent, but she must also spend time with her family," she stressed.

Emphasizing the need for working parents to find time to spend with children, Saleha said sharing and caring starts within the family unit.

She also stressed the "four absolute moral standards" that youth must practice to bring about success-absolute honesty, purity, selflessness and love.

In addition, RYS had an open forum on Achieving Marital Bliss. However, the seven participants admitted they were neither married nor marriage counselors.

Tok Jin Jin, 23, a final-year chemistry student at University Malaya, said that accepting each other's shortcomings is important. "Love is not just a bed of roses. Every couple has to accept each other's shortcomings and talk about it first so they will know what to expect," said Tok.

She added the parents should be emotionally stable and prepared to handle new situations, before having children.

Jayapavan Kathalingam, a senior engineer with Tenaga Nasional, however, believed that commitment, sacrifice and compromise are basic elements that hold marriages together.

The others had different approaches to the concept of "marital bliss." Some said that compatibility and universal values such as honesty and trust can all contribute to making a marriage work. In group dynamics sessions, the participants were urged to have a better understanding of themselves and others.

"It's just a label we put on a number of different activities which involve people actively in a learning process as opposed to, say, a lecture, which is often quickly forgotten," said Mitch Lawrie, the experiential learning trainer.

"We need to reflect on our experiences and apply what we have learned. In that way, we can get better experiences in life."

Learning the Ins and Outs

Everyone slept on mattresses on the floor, ate common meals, cleaned their own dishes and had cold baths. But no one complained during the entire program.

In fact, sharing and caring were particular values that dominated the entire scene at the four-day Religious Youth Service program.

The program at Shah Alam Agricultural Park attracted 34 local and foreign participants.

Despite the occasional heavy showers, spirits were not dampened and most of the participants found the program extremely educational.

Alphaumar Jallow, 22, a Gambian who is studying business administration at International Islamic University, believes more youths should participate in such an organization in the interest of society.

"Sharing and caring are always talked about but never really performed. Joining the RYS programs has shown me ways to work without complaining because we learn to respect each other unconditionally," he said.

"We become sensitive to other people's needs when work is performed for a common cause. It was a good experience," he added.

For Vergil Lavendia, 26, from the Philippines, RYS has shown him the deeper side of himself.

"We begin to understand more about ourselves when we interact with other people, especially of other faiths. We begin to understand why people think in certain ways and we get a deeper understanding of ourselves," he said.

Sri Lankan Ravi Paramananthan, 33, who resides in Canada, is a community development worker who is visiting Kuala Lumpur.

According to him, governments cannot dictate or influence people. Instead, initiating community projects for young people helps to develop a moral society.

"Every person thinks differently and if discipline and morality are to be inculcated, it can only be done with children," he said.

For 21-year-old Pei Xian from Singapore, a final-year electronics engineering student from Ngee Ann Polytechnic, the RYS project has shown her the true way to care for society.

"Young people nowadays want something in return for what they do. Projects where we expect nothing in return, like clearing the trek and repairing the bridge, help us to be unselfish," she said. "We do it because we want to, and the feeling of something for the community is more important."

The youngest participant, 15-year-old Melissa Johannie Yusoh, said her mother urged her to attend after seeing a RYS poster in Universiti Pertanian Malaysia.

"I get to meet people and to know about their religions and languages. It's been a lot of fun," Melissa summed up about her stay.

Tok Jin Jin, 23, a University Malaya final-year chemistry student, came because she noticed the program included dynamic discussions which she hoped would benefit her.

The first thing she learned was to be more patient. As a group leader, she had to think of other people's limitations.

"My patience was tested," she said. "I normally think and act fast, but I had to be patient when dealing with different individuals.

"If someone comes up with an idea but diverts from the topic, I would usually just cut in to correct them. I had to learn to restrain myself."

Sanae Takahashi, an editor of a Japanese entertainment magazine, also enjoyed her stay. She left her hometown in Nagano to come here to study Malaysia's multicultural society and to study the English and Malay languages.

"Unlike the Japanese, Malaysians mix and live together. I am very curious about this," said Sanae, 25, who has been here for four months.

Staying with Malaysians has taught her the language and customs. Sanae also experienced for the first time walking in the jungle using a machete to cut away bushes, and observing Muslims at prayer.

The chance to meet and live with strangers certainly tested the tolerance and patience of the participants. These were people with not only different religions, but different cultures and habits.

The fact that they got on so well in what was quite a hostile and uncomfortable environment shows that the Beatles' anthem from the '60s, Give Peace a Chance, can work if everyone gives it a go.

On Being A Gentleman

by Haven Bradford Gow

Are courtesy, thoughtfulness, kindness and decency out of date? Are discourtesy and rudeness rather than courtesy and kindness now the norm in all aspects of our lives, including our social and business activities?

Writing in the Jan. 1, 1995 Memphis Commercial Appeal, social critic Melody Rutland observes: "Rude behavior seems to be the accepted form and norm of service now.... I simply want to be treated with respect. When I do business with a company, then an apology (for rude and obnoxious conduct) would not be needed, but if an apology is needed I would like to be given one and to know the employees are made aware that this behavior is not acceptable at any time."

She adds: "There are too many other businesses to allow bad service and rude behavior by even one employee. Good customer service is in desperate need of a comeback."

According to Don Feder, a columnist for The Boston Herald and author of A Conservative Jews Looks at Pagan America (Lafayette, La.: Huntington House), "Urban life presents daily examples of thoughtless behavior: The pompous secretary whose specialty is long distance intimidation, the waitress who says `have a nice day' with a frown on her face, the cashier who practically throws your change at you, the idiot driver who begins blasting his horn milliseconds after the light changes, and the boobs who jostle you on crowded sidewalks." Indeed, says Mr. Feder, "The ultimate justification for politeness is self- interest combined with regard for others.... The essence of etiquette is kindness and consideration."

It was the eminent 18th-century British statesman and political philosopher Edmund Burke who observed that two qualities are essential to the survival of civilized society: the spirit of religion and the spirit of the gentleman. The spirit of religion means acknowledgment of a Supreme Being and the protection and recognition of God-given rights and the performance of corresponding duties.

But what does it mean to be a "gentleman"? Adam Williams, a student at Golightly Vocational Tech in Detroit, Michigan, provides this answer: "A gentleman has unique qualities and character. Some people think that a gentleman has to be well-dressed, but it is the quality of character he possesses (that makes someone a gentleman)."

The gentleman, as Mr. Williams goes on to say, "is kind and generous, and takes responsibility for his own actions. He is equally respectful to both male and female." The gentleman "opens a door for a lady, just as a mother taught him to do. He speaks well with others. He is willing to help out his fellowman in any way he possibly can, and is not ashamed to give praise to God. He has a pleasing smile for those he greets."

The above description of being a gentleman reminds one of Cardinal John Henry Newman's classic essay on what it means to be a gentleman. According to Cardinal Newman, the gentleman is "tender towards the bashful, gentle towards the distant and merciful towards the absurd.... He never speaks of himself unless compelled, never defends himself by mere retort, he has no ears for slander or gossip...."

The gentleman, continued Newman, is "patient and forbearing"; he resigns himself to suffering because "it is inevitable, to bereavement because it is irreparable and to death because it is his destiny." And if the gentleman engages in controversy of any kind, "his disciplined intellect preserves him from the blundering discourtesy of better, perhaps, but less educated minds, who, like blunt weapons, tear and hack instead of cutting clean, who mistake the point in argument, waste their strength on trifles, misconceive their adversary and leave the question more involved than they find it."

Clearly, we must and should display courtesy, kindness and thoughtfulness to others, but not simply because these qualities enhance social and business relations; rather, courtesy, kindness, decency and consideration are expressions of one's love and respect for others. True, good manners help facilitate social and human relations; however, as Professor Richard Taylor points out in his book A Return to Christian Culture, the true Christian understands that "politeness is not a device for getting something he wants; it is an expression of love and respect. It is a mark of Christian sensitivity."

What motivates and inspires the Christian's courtesy, kindness and nobility of mind, spirit and character, then, is the Christian's love for Christ and for his neighbor, and his significant recognition of Christ's love for him. It is this love for Christ and the awareness of His love for us that makes us sensitive to the human beings around us and to their sensibilities and feelings. Christ's love for us gives us a sense of the feelings of others so that we desire not to hurt or embarrass them. Our love for Christ and for our fellowman, then, will cause us to want to learn the art of courtesy and kindness.

IRA Q&A

Question: Can an IRA contribution be made in stock?

Answer: No. The tax rule is that a regular IRA or SEP contribution must be made in cash. A rollover contribution can be made in securities if those securities were the same assets as received from the distributing plan.

Question: What happens if I contribute more than $2,000 to an IRA for any one year?

Answer: If the excess contribution (that is, the amount above $2,000) is not removed by the tax filing due date plus any extensions, you will owe a 6% excise tax for each year the excess contribution remains in the account.

Question: I have an extension to file my tax return. Does that extend the date for an IRA contribution?

Answer: Your IRA contribution must be in by April 15. No extensions are allowed. However, SEP and qualified plan contributions can be made until the tax filing due date plus extensions. Note that plans subject to a minimum funding standard, such as defined benefit pension, money purchase pension and target benefit plans, should be funded within 8 1/2 months after the end of the year to avoid the penalty for failure to meet the minimum funding standard.

Question: I want to withdraw my IRA from my bank. Will the bank have to withhold 20% of the distribution?

Answer: No. The 20% mandatory withholding rule applies only to distributions from company qualified plans and Section 403(b) plans. It does not apply to distributions from IRAs or SEP-IRAs.

Question: I received a distribution from a company pension plan and rolled it over into a bank IRA. Now I would like to roll it over to my brokerage account. Does that violate the one rollover a year rule?

Answer: No. The one rollover a year rule applies only to IRA-to-IRA rollovers, not to the plan-to-IRA rollover. So, if you took a distribution from the IRA at the bank and rolled it over to your brokerage account, you could not roll any distributions from either account to another IRA if those distributions were taken within 12 months of the original distribution from the bank. However, if you wanted to move IRA money from either of those IRAs to another IRA within the 12-month period, the funds could be moved through a custodian-to-custodian or trustee-to-trustee transfer. There is no limitation on the number of IRA transfers, just rollovers.

Question: I would like to consolidate all of my IRAs by rolling them over to one account this year. Can I do this?

Answer: Yes. You can roll over each of those IRAs to one account (it's one rollover per IRA within a 12-month period). However, new distributions taken from the new IRA, or any of those IRAs that were rolled over, may not be rolled over to any IRA if those distributions were taken within 12 months of the original IRA distributions.

Question: I have just reached age 70 1/2 and need to withdraw funds from my IRA. According to the IRS life expectancy tables, the applicable figure is "16". Does that mean I must take 16% of my account's value?

Answer: No. The applicable figure is a life expectancy figure. It is a divisor, not a multiplier. Divide the end of the prior year account balance by the life expectancy to determine the minimum distribution. Another way to determine the distribution: Divide "1" by the life expectancy. Then multiply the account value by that percentage to determine the minimum distribution.

Question: Must a single or widowed individual use single-life expectancy to determine required distributions from an IRA?

Answer: No, as long as an individual is named the beneficiary, the account owner can choose to use a joint life expectancy to determine the minimum distributions, and thus take a smaller minimum (subject to certain maximum age differentials). This choice must be made in the first year of distribution. If no election is made, the provisions of the plan dictate the method to use.

Question: Am I able to take an IRA distribution in stock, or must I liquidate the assets and take cash?

Answer: IRA distributions can be taken in kind; they need not be in the form of cash.

Question: Can I roll over to an IRA a distribution that I will receive from my company's retirement plan after age 70 1/2?

Answer: Generally, yes. However, you cannot roll over the portion of the distribution that represents the required minimum distribution. Only the excess above the required minimum distribution amount can be rolled over.

Question: I contribute $2,000 to IRAs every year. I keep my deductible IRAs separate from my IRAs with non-deductible contributions. Do I need to do this?

Answer: Not for tax purposes. When individuals eventually pull money from any of their IRAs, the total will be aggregated so that part of each distribution will be taxable and part will be considered a recovery of non-deductible contributions. This calculation is done on IRS Form 8606. It does not matter from which IRA the distribution is taken. An individual may want to keep an IRA separate only in the IRA contains funds that were rolled over from company qualified plans and were not commingled with regular IRA contributions. By keeping those funds separate, the individual retains the right to roll them over to a new employer's qualified plan.

Question: Can a trust become the owner of an IRA?

Answer: Only an individual can own an IRA. A transfer of ownership will give rise to a distribution. However, a trust can be the beneficiary of an IRA.

Question: What happens if an IRA is used as collateral for a loan?

Answer: The amount of the IRA pledged is considered to be distributed.

Question: Can I sell stock that I am holding to my IRA?

Answer: If you sell stock to your IRA, then you have engaged in a prohibited transaction. As a result, your IRA will be considered to have distributed all of its assets as of January 1 of the year of the sale.

This article is offered for information only. Neither the contributor nor Dean Witter is a tax advisor. Investors should consult their personal tax advisors before making tax-related investment decisions.

Healthy Love: Questions And Answers on Abstinence, Part One

By Teri Lester

This is the first of a series of four extracts from Healthy Love: 36 Questions and Answers on Practicing Abstinence.

Most abstinence-based programs focus primarily on the need to reduce the risks associated with premature sexual activity. However, this approach overlooks the fact that human beings are natural risk-takers. We yearn to drive the fastest car, climb the highest mountain, and ride the crest of the biggest wave; our original nature is willing to risk everything for the "pearl of great price".

Healthy Love constitutes a different approach to abstinence education that seeks primarily to stimulate the idealism of teens, so that they will want to practice abstinence as the way of life most consistent with their own highest values. Abstinence should be a choice rather than a chore. Abstinence means choosing true love rather than false love; choosing deep, caring, unchanging relationships, rather than relationships that are shallow, self-serving, and short-lived.

The following questions are from the booklet Healthy Love: 36 Questions and Answers on Practicing Abstinence. This booklet and other Healthy Love materials are available for purchase; ordering information is at the end.

1. What is the Healthy Love Program? Healthy Love is a new kind of abstinence education. Abstinence has been widely recognized as the best protection from AIDS, sexually transmitted diseases, and unwanted pregnancy. There are many programs that promote abstinence, but few that give any practical advice on how to reasonably accomplish an abstinent lifestyle. We have developed a program that teaches the difference between sex and love, and gives realistic, desirable alternatives to premature sexual activity. We present a step-by-step method for making the choices that will reinforce a decision to remain abstinent, so that no one has to rely on willpower alone.

2. Why do you call it Healthy Love? The word abstinence focuses on what you're not doing, rather than what you are doing. When you're not having sex prematurely, you are free to love and be loved, to do lots of things, and to grow and become a mature person capable of real, true, deep, strong love. The term "Healthy Love" illustrates perfectly the process that includes abstaining from premature sexual activity.

3. Can abstinence be taught? Sex doesn't happen by accident; any time we are in a situation where we have to decide whether or not to have sex, we have already made choices that have brought us to that point. These choices involve who we're with, where we go, what we wear, what we carry with us, and what we're thinking. In reality, everyone practices abstinence most of the time. Any time we are not actually having sex, we are abstaining from sex. If you are not having sex with every attractive person that you meet, then you are practicing abstinence-so you must know of some context in which abstinence is realistic. What we need to do is learn how to practice abstinence consistently. Abstinence can be learned and practiced the same way we learn and practice any other skill, from playing the flute to driving a car. To successfully practice abstinence, we need to learn how to make choices that support our decision to be abstinent. Recognizing situations and making choices are skills that can be learned and practiced.

4. What kind of love do we search for? There are different types of love. Different intensities of love have a different level of commitment. Everybody has a dream of an ideal love partner. We want someone who will love us without condition and without change. Should we seek after this ideal love, or should we compromise? Should we care if our ideal love partner has previously been in a sexual relationship with someone else? Real love is unchanging and permanent; nobody wants to live happily for a little while! We all yearn for relationships that will last. We cherish the friends we have known the longest. Real love is focused on others. If I am self-centered, people won't want to be around me for long. Real love is generous, unselfish, even sacrificial, giving of ourselves to others, without thinking of what we get in return. Real love is strong-some say it's the strongest power in the universe. People will give their lives, anything they have to find love. Real love is deep and passionate-whoever we love, we love to the very ends of the earth!

5. Does real love only exist in a romantic relationship? No, the things we want from a romantic relationship-permanence, affection, generosity, intimacy, security-are actually the same things we want from every love relationship we have.

6. Where do we find love? What kinds of relationships do we find love in? We start our lives receiving love from our parents; we want that love to be unchanging, generous and we want them to love us deeply. By receiving affectionate, unconditional love from our parents we learn to trust others and to have confidence in ourselves. Then we begin to love our brothers and sisters, and we certainly want them to be generous and affectionate! By learning to love and be loved by our brothers and sisters we develop our ability to love and form relationships-habits we will carry throughout our lives. When we grow up, we make a commitment to one person and begin our relationship as husband and wife. We be based on our emotional love, and we definitely want them to be generous, unchanging, and affectionate! Ultimately, we become parents ourselves, and then, after learning all our lessons with our parents, our brothers and sisters, and our spouse, we have a good shot at giving our children love that is unchanging, unselfish, and deep. So, there are four primary forms of love: love of children, love of siblings, married love, and parental love. If we learn these basic types of love within the family unit, we can then extend our circle of love to include all those whom we come into contact with. This is real love-Healthy Love.

7. How do we learn to love? Do we learn how to love automatically, by instinct? Are we born generous, affectionate and unchanging? No, we are born selfish, irresponsible, thoughtless, inconsiderate-and that's just the first day! From the day we are born we begin to develop into mature adults, but we have to work at it. It doesn't happen automatically. We learn to love by receiving love from our parents, and practicing with our brothers and sisters. As we grow and our horizons broaden, we continue to develop our capacity to love through our interaction with people in all walks of life.

8. What kind of person would you like to marry? Wouldn't you rather marry a mature, responsible person? What are the qualities of a mature person? Most people will agree that someone can be considered mature when they are responsible, dependable, trustworthy, loving, secure, stable, and capable of self-control. Wouldn't you like to be loved by someone like that?

9. What is self-control? We have two kinds of desires: the desires of the body and the desires of the mind. The body desires to eat, sleep, be comfortable, and have sex. The mind's desires are more internal: it is the mind that seeks knowledge, goodness, beauty, and so forth. Self-control has to do with the proper ordering of these desires. The mind should take control over the body so that physical desires do not become a hindrance to the fulfillment of our primary, internal goals in life. For instance, our internal desire to pursue goodness should prevent us from stealing something-a nice car, perhaps-that we desire externally; our internal desire for beauty will prevent us from littering; our internal desire for knowledge will push us to study further, even if we feel sleepy. Just as there are two kinds of desire, there are also two kinds of freedom. To grant freedom to our physical body without regard to the mind is called licentiousness. Real freedom is the internal sense of freedom that comes when we achieve a mature level of self-control, when all our actions are in harmony with our primary, internal goals, and we feel good about ourselves.

If you want to order Healthy Love materials, the Question/Answer booklets are $1.00 each, or .80 for 10-20 copies, or .75 each for 21 or more copies. The 86-page manual is $8.00, and the original student booklets are $2.00 each, or $1.25 each for 10-20 copies, or $1.00 each for 21 or more copies. There is no extra charge for shipping within the US (if you live in Kansas, please add sales tax). Overseas orders please add 50% for airmail shipping. Mail your order with check payable to RUC Publications, 12736 West 110th Terrace, Overland Park, KS 66210. Or call me, Teri Lester, at (816) 241-1931.

God's Day Celebration In Korea

by Farley Jones-Troy, NY

With representatives from all six continents and from over 50 nations gathered with True Parents in Seoul, and with True Parents exuding both excitement and determination for the future, the celebration of God's Day 1995 was a very special moment. My wife and I were privileged to participate.

Underlying all the celebrations, education and training sessions and competitions, which I will describe below, were two predominant sentiments: Father's seriousness over the inheritance of his tradition and his excitement about the great future possibilities of his work, including nation building.

The God's Day celebration began as always with Father's midnight prayer. What was striking here was not only Father's mention of his life-long struggle to liberate the heart of God, but also his unusually tearful pledge to continue that struggle in 1995.

Thereafter, Father gave the motto for 1995 and his Midnight Address. While there were many facets to the guidance that Father offered during his Midnight Address, I will emphasize three themes in this report. First was Father's focus on absoluteness as a goal of spiritual life: absolute faith, absolute loyalty, absolute heart. It is through absoluteness in these areas that God, humanity and Parents can ultimately be liberated. Absoluteness is the standard by which we are ultimately measured.

The second was Father's continued emphasis on the role of conscience. Conscience is not only the internal voice of God, it even comes before God, before the Teacher. (On another occasion Father has emphasized that conscience is the ladder by which we ascend toward Heaven).

Thirdly was Father's continued emphasis on self-mastery. Expressing his traditional teaching on the mind-body relationship in a slightly different way, he stated at one point that the mind and body must be harmonized according to the same standard.

Finally, in this Address, as well as on several occasions during our stay in Korea, Father mentioned that the inheritance of True Parents is to include not only the glorious side, but the difficult side as well. One does not receive a crown of glory unless it is preceded by the way of the cross.

At age 74, virtually age 75, Father now frankly states that he is in the declining phase of his life. Therefore, he is now particularly concerned that his tradition be understood and inherited. Accordingly, he is encouraging all Unificationists to understand his heart and way of life and to carry these things fully into our own lives.

At the January 1 pledge service, True Parents asked Reverend Kwak to present a summary of some of the major developments in 1994. This report covered six major areas, including unifying activities in the relations between North and South Korea, the ascendancy of the Washington Times in the context of the new political alignment in Washington, the establishment of a national Parent's Day in the United States, the impressive progress of the University of Bridgeport, the education of 160,000 Japanese women by True Parents in Alaska and Korea and the recent developments in South America centered on True Parents, especially the possible acquisition of an enormous amount of land in the nation of Paraguay. While the Paraguay acquisition is yet to be finalized, Father seems very optimistic and envisions that this land can be used for the construction of what would be equivalent of a model nation.

This same report was given prior to Father's attending a God's Day address to a congregation of approximately 5,000 Korean members gathered in a room accommodating that number on the premises of the Il Hwa Factory in Seoul.

January 2 was of course celebrated as the day of Victory of Love. The ceremony at Father's home in HanNamDong was again memorable. With True Parents sitting by and with Mother occasionally shedding tears, Reverend Kwak as President of HSA-UWC in Korea gave a substantial and tearful summary of the significance of the death of Heung Jin Nim.

After Reverend Kwak's talk, Father also spoke largely on the topic of inheriting True Parents victorious realm. He explained that to inherit this realm means to liquidate all aspects of satanic life and to inherit a "true love tradition". Father stated that each family represents Adam's family and each one should have the attitude to restore any problems that Adam's family made.

Father further explained that what he dislikes most is a self-centered life style, primarily because it was a self-centered attitude that caused the Fall. Originally, 5% of a person's life was to be devoted to private matters and 95% to the public. Through the Fall, the area that was to occupy 5% came to occupy 100% of the parties' attention. To restore this, we should have a 100% public concern.

Finally, Father emphasizes that the role of Unificationists is to impart hope to those in their environments. He stated that Unificationists should become "hopeful subjects" to those around them.

On January 3, approximately 50 continental directors and national leaders joined True Parents at Cheju Island. There we enjoyed True Parents' generous hospitality at a very nice training center that has been built in conjunction with the Il Hwa Orange Juice Factory there. At Cheju, continental directors and national leaders gave reports on developments in the world-wide movement, elder members presented interesting and challenging lectures, we watched a videotape of the championship Il Hwa soccer team playing - and defeating - a German all star team, we were provided instructions and spiritual guidance by True Parents and we participated conditionally in the second International Hunting and Fishing Competition for World Peace.

The Hunting and Fishing Competition was established by Father initially to foster relationships with residents of Cheju Island but ultimately include sportsmen from North Korea and to lead sportsmen world wide to connect in their "hobby-type" activities to higher values and goals.

The competition was sponsored by the Japanese Unification Church. The one day hunting competition focused on the "bagging" of the largest (heaviest) pheasant and the fishing competition focused on the largest fish. Winning prizes in each competition were approximately $2,500.

At Cheju, Reverend Kwak gave a further report on the developments in 1994, focusing particularly upon the inauguration of the Family Federation for Unification and World Peace. As is explained elsewhere in this issue of Unification News, Reverend Kwak explains that the era of HSA/UWC as a representative of the Christian tradition is over and we have now entered a time that is beyond religion and that focuses on the family, rather than the individual, as the real object of God. As such, the Family Federation comes on the foundation of the Family Pledge and is intended to support families in their fulfillment of the goals and ideals of that Pledge.

Upon returning to America, one may ask: what was learned? Frankly, one distinct experience for both Betsy and me was the frustration of not speaking Korean. We are all involved in an historic movement whose origins are Korean and the core of whose spirituality is expressed in the Korean language and is connected to Korean culture. While the opportunity to learn Korean may have passed by some of our first- generation members, I come away from the experience in Korea with the sense that it is imperative for all of the second generation to master this language. In my view, this should be a major internal objective for our Movement in the future. In the meantime, I would encourage each family to do whatever it can to introduce the Korean language to its children.

Secondly, I learned again how much Father has done and how much he has accomplished by reason of his faithfulness, the large scope of his thinking and his persistent sacrificial dedication to this larger purpose. Under the influence of these qualities, new things too numerous to describe are percolating worldwide. Such qualities are, of course, available to us all. Embodying them will allow us on our own level to do great things for America as True Parents have done great things for the world.

From Young Me Hwang's Kitchen - Beef and Radish Soup

Serves 4-6

4 oz. lean beef
4-6 oz raw Korean radish
1 clove garlic, minced
1 tsp. sesame oil
3 green (spring) onions
1-1 1/2 tsp. beef-flavor dashida (powdered soup-base)
1/2 tsp. black pepper
salt to taste
Korean crushed red pepper

Use very lean beef, such as steak. Slice thin while frozen, into small squares or strips. Cut radish into postage-stamp size slices. Add beef, radish, garlic and sesame oil to 1 1/2 quarts water. Bring to a boil.

Add dashida (or beef bouillon cube), black pepper, and salt to taste. Cook until radish is tender, about 20-30 minutes.

Garnish with raw thin-sliced green onion. Ladle into soup bowls and serve hot.

At the table, each guest adds red pepper according to individual tolerance level. Spoonfuls of steamy white rice can be added.

This is a great first course for winter weather.

Tissues should be provided for drippy noses.

-contributed by Jonatha Johnson

First Teacher Training Workshop in Azerbaijan

by Christoph Kral

From November 14 to 18, 1994, we organized the first Teacher Training Seminar in Baku, Azerbaijan.

Up until now Azerbaijan has been a closed nation in the Caucasus, involved in an exhausting war with Armenia during the last five years. There never before has been a missionary of our movement in this nation.

I by myself started the mission in Armenia in Feb. '93-now there are 25 native brothers and sisters-and I always had a strong desire to start the mission in the enemy-nation of Armenia in order to lay a foundation for peace.

Some months ago, I made some contact with a professor of philosophy in Baku, who invited me to Azerbaijan. When our regional IW, Rev. Park, visited our region in October, I expressed again my desire to go to Azerbaijan. After praying about it, Rev. Park agreed and we went as the first missionaries to Baku. In the following days we could meet important leaders, like the adviser to the president for education affairs. Our friend, Dr. Rafik Alief, professor of philosophy and president of the international forum "Caucasian House," helped us a lot and we could find an agreement to organize a TTW for selected leaders in Baku.

The staff of the seminar consisted of William Haines, Enrique Ledesma, Christoph Kral, and Tamarigo, a sister from Georgia who worked as our translator.

The lecture hall was the conference room of the Ministry of Education in the government building. On the first day we had an official meeting with the Minister of Education, who introduced us to about 100 leaders. We started the seminar in the morning with a presentation about IEF and "My World and I." After lunch the program continued with about 35 selected leaders. For the participants as well as for the staff it was a new experience to teach a TTW in an Islamic nation. It was a challenge for us all to practice cooperative learning and to discuss topics such as "The Life of Jesus" and "Love Your Enemy." In the beginning some of the participants seemed to be quite surprised to become personally involved in the program by being asked to share their opinion or to take part in an exercise, but after a short "warm- up" period the seminar guests became very open and cooperative, showing a very beautiful, warm heart. The discussions became very active and the games and exercises full of creativity and new ideas. This three-day seminar was a time of spiritual transition to think about existing concepts and to find a new orientation. The participants as well as our staff could change and learn to understand each other better. We were especially grateful to find in Prof. Rafik Alief a true friend, who helped us to appreciate the greatness and beauty of the Ajerbaijanian culture and history.

One of the most moving experiences in Baku for me was the visit to the cemetery of the soldiers who died during the last five years of war. The first graves of honor were placed in a huge park but now there is no more park, only graves. Being responsible for Armenia I could feel as deeply the suffering of these two nations. There is no more space for hatred or resentments, there are only tears and suffering left. I saw young women kneeling and crying for their lost husbands, sisters crying for their brothers, daughters crying for their fathers; these are the same tears as the tears of Armenian women. Listen to me, you Armenian and Azerbaijanian mothers, wives and daughters: these are the same tears!

Loving both nations, this war goes right through my heart. How much God must hope that these nations find peace.

After the seminar we could meet with several leaders. An official commission was appointed to approve the "My World and I" program with the perspective of the future publication of an Azerbaijanian version of the book. We received an official letter of gratitude and support from the international forum "Caucasian House."

Our stay in Baku ended with deep feelings of sympathy with our new friends and with mutual promises to continue our cooperation. Thank you, our dear Azerbaijanian brothers and sisters; we will come back soon!