Family: The Center of Spirituality and Love

by Kasia Stevens-Albuquerque, NM

If you are lucky, your own family is the place to learn basic spirituality. Because my family lived with my grandparents, I was very lucky. The things they taught me make up much of the fabric of my spirituality, including my ability to love God and to love others. They taught me that spirituality is not meant to be brought out only on special occasions, but rather is a part of daily life. The points I list below are not the only points of spirituality, but they are important ones and the ones I was lucky enough to learn from my grandparents.

1. Pray for others.

Babush (my grandmother) prayed every morning and evening in the same chair in the "front" room. Prayer was not hidden away or out of sight. She was asked to give to many causes and she not only gave money, but prayed sincerely for people. She prayed for the healing of problems all over the world as well as in her own family. She prayed a long time.

2. Eat, but don't waste food.

Grandmothers make you eat and Babush was no exception. The first question when I came home from school was "Are you hungry?" We (my two brothers and I) also received steel-cold looks when we did not finish something on our plates that she had cooked. So we learned not to waste food, especially if it was my grandmother's.

3. The value of money.

Every week Babush would add her and Ja Ja's (my grandfather) pension and social security checks. She carefully subtracted each utility, medical and other bills. The she would squeeze out some money to put aside for gifts for her two children and seven grandchildren. It was her greatest joy to give us something. Money was valuable, but its greatest value was to enable one to give.

4. Don't waste electricity or toilet paper.

Ja Ja always went around after everyone shutting off lights, securely tightening water faucets and checking to see how much toilet paper was used. He was trying to save money and stop the septic tank from backing up for the hundredth time. He was frugal. Take care of things.

5. Tears matter.

When I was in high school, my grandmother and I planned a trip to the "old country" so that Ja Ja could visit the village of his youth and see his only surviving brother. One obstacle stood in the way. Ja Ja would not fly. We should have known that because we had to trick him even to ride in a car. The trip got canceled. I found out one afternoon after school. Wordlessly I walked into the front room and just sat there. One big sad tear oozed out of my right eye. This lone tear made Babush reconfirm her and my ticket to Poland later that week. Later my grandmother told me that she couldn't let her granddaughter cry. I felt so deeply loved and valued.

6. Go to Church.

Ja Ja was very good at going to church. He walked five miles to church every Sunday morning and five miles back in his best suit to attend 8am mass. He had gone and returned by the time we got up. Babush also went, except she let us drive her, and she learned more when she was there than he did.

7. Love no matter what.

Ja Ja stopped talking to his only son (my father) sometime near my parents' engagement. My grandfather didn't speak to my father for about twenty years. Living in the same house made this silence no small feat. My poor Babush was caught in between the two men she loved most in the entire world. She did the only thing she could do. She loved them strongly, no matter what.

She did the same with me. When I decided to take off for Europe and later joined an unpopular religion, Babush supported me more than anyone else in my family. My parents went crazy with disapproval and worry, but Babush trusted me. She loved me, no matter what.

8. Love is simple, pure and childlike.

Babush's relationship with people and especially with her husband was one of simple innocence. She confided in me that she did not kiss Ja Ja until they became engaged after a year of courtship. He had brought her some flowers and while they were out on the swing on the front porch Ja Ja asked The Question. They sealed their commitment with their first kiss.

She also confided that Ja Ja had cold feet and after forty years of marriage she still warmed them up for him under the covers. Her simple kindnesses were a mighty love. She kept a child inside of her heart. That child played and laughed through her.

Thank you, Babush and Ja Ja. This column is for you.

Rev. Kasia Stevens is the campus minister of the Unification Church at the University of New Mexico and the president of the Interreligious Council at U.N.M.

Family Federation Section

Welcome to the Inaugural Family Federation section in the Unification News. This section will be devoted each month to Family Federation matters. There is so much to understand about the providential history and purpose of the Family Federation. In this regard, I think you will find the adjoining article by Rev. Chung Hwan Kwak to be illuminating.

As you will see, the Family Federation is not the family-level counterpart to the Women's or Youth Federation. It is an association for Blessed Couples/Tribal Messiahs.

Then what is the Family Federation to do? In a broad sense, it is to provide encouragement, education, stimulation and support to families in their efforts to fulfill the goals and ideals of the Family Pledge. That Pledge of course has internal (focused on family dynamics and the realms of heart) and external (focused on mission) dimensions and so will the work of the Family Federation. Over time, we will need to promote materials and programs related to family education, including husband-wife relations, parenting and second-generation education; also, the Federation will need to develop in such a way as to assist us all in reaching out to and educating our friends, relatives and communities. Father's specific goal for all of us is the restoration of 160 families.

Development will depend on us all. I hope the FFUWP will be a forum for the pooling of the great strengths of our membership so that we may fulfill the ideals of the Pledge and so that God's Providence in America may benefit.

So let us take seriously the words of the Pledge. Certainly they were taken seriously when they were given to us.

I have already been contacted by some couples who have various projects and ideas percolating. I would like to use this page each month to publicize your insights and activities so that we can inspire and empower each other. Please be in touch.

Birthday Celebration For Rev. And Mrs. Moon In New York

Unification Church leaders from 40 nations and all 50 states gathered in New York City on February 5 for the celebration of the birthday of Reverend Sun Myung Moon and his wife, Mrs. Hak Ja Han Moon. It was Reverend Moon's 75th birthday. He and she both were born on January 6 of the lunar calendar, in villages but a few miles apart in what is now North Korea.

The day began with an offering ceremony involving some 300 members of the Moon family and church elders and leaders. Officiated by Rev. Chung Hwan Kwak, this ceremony, based upon the tradition of offering the first fruits of the harvest, both literally and symbolically as a tithe, to God. Reverend and Mrs. Moon bow first to God, and then their children and grandchildren, and then the church elders and younger members. Holy candles are lit and then Reverend Moon gives the opening prayer of the day. After the prayer, a large cake is cut and rice cakes are distributed to all. Later in the day the cake is cut and distributed among all the membership, and the fruits of the offering table, carefully built into towers, is sent out among the membership in the New York area and across the nation (nuts and other non- perishables).

After the ceremony, Reverend and Mrs. Moon and their family proceeded to the Grand Ballroom of the New Yorker Hotel, where some 1,500 members were awaiting them. There were special guests as well for the speech, including Christian ministers (some of whom could not stay the entire time because of their own Sunday morning obligations!), scholars and political leaders.

Not one to mince words, Reverend Moon explained to them strongly about the purpose of creation being the perfection of love between a true man and true woman. But prior to achieving that, or being qualified for that, one must have one's mind and body united completely, centering on the will of God. Reverend Moon challenged the special guests along with all the members to unite their minds and bodies in following their consciences, and to create families of goodness in service to the nation and world. It was a challenging speech.

After the speech, there were special presentations to Reverend Moon, including a book of collected testimonies by the UN troops who had participated in the liberation of Hungnam prison in 1951. This was presented by one of those soldiers personally, a man who is now an eminent New York lawyer and who is working, coincidentally, with North Korean delegates for the sake of gaining information on MIAs from the Korean War.

After lunch there began a serendipitous series of yute games. Church leaders from eight continental regions gathered in the Grand Ballroom, and played this traditional Korean game all afternoon. Unfortunately, the results were not clear by dinner time, so the tournament was brought to a temporary halt, to be continued after the evening entertainment, commencing at around 10 pm. By 2:30 am, the four finalists had been determined: the teams from the Middle East, Asia, the Boston, New Jersey and Washington, DC, Regions of the United States and the Los Angeles and New York Regions of the United States. The reader must wait until the end of the article to find out who won, because the finals did not come until two days later.

The Evening Performance of the 1995 True Parents' Birthday was a classically-oriented program, featuring the Kirov Academy Ballet of Washington, DC. (See side-bar for details of the program.) Bright and early the next morning the National and State Leaders jumped onto buses bound for Washington, DC, and after an inspiring few hours of dozing away, we arrived at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in Crystal City to observe the third of the series of eight International Women's Friendship Conferences (see article by Mrs. Nora Spurgin in this issue). The women among the group were privileged to join the ceremony and be joined together with Japanese sisters.

The following morning all the leaders gathered in the Conference Theatre of the hotel for an all-day meeting with Reverend and Mrs. Moon. We heard reports about the Women's Friendship Conferences and developments of our church activities in South America. This was followed by Reverend Moon's address. He covered the ethics of Principle, of self-sacrifice and "investing everything and forgetting, and investing more" as God's way of life. People who live that way, following the way of God, for the higher purpose of the benefit of the whole, will automatically become the leaders of the society, nation and world. All Unification Church leaders were encouraged to follow this way of life.

After a break, Reverend Moon's address continued with a discussion of the principle by which God has worked through women throughout biblical history. Because of the fall, women as well as men fell into an unprincipled position. In order to return to the proper position in front of God and the family, there must be a reversal of the process of the fall. The act of the fall saw Eve act against both her Father (God) and her husband (Adam) in the process of following Satan's word. To reverse this, women standing in the position of Eve must follow God's word, even if in the process they must act against the wishes of their (physical) father and their husband (both of whom, relative to a chosen woman, stand on the side of Satan). To reduce it to simple terms, Eve left God for the sake of Satan, to restore this Eve must leave Satan for the sake of God.

What Reverend Moon discovered--and here is a key for understanding his work of over 50 years--is that the fall was not just a spiritual event, an psychological event centering on mental rebellion against God, but that this mental rebellion was acted out by persons in historical relationships. Hence, the fall can only be resolved through the actions of persons in historical relationships, who establish certain positions and avoid the mistakes of the past, resist the temptations to which our ancestors fell prey, love and sacrifice where our ancestors separated and became arrogant.

Reverend Moon delivered a fascinating and illuminating account of the actions of the women of the Bible, from Rebekah, to Rachel and Leah, to Mary, Mother of Jesus, and Elizabeth, her kinswoman. Through this we could understand much more deeply the origin of the birth of Christ. We could also understand more about our own relationship as husbands and wives, and also about the relationships between various nations who stand in certain providential positions, centering on "the Lord of all nations". Did not the God of the Old Testament address nations as individual persons?

The third and final session of the leaders meeting included a set of visionary instructions for the coming months and years, far too numerous and complex to begin to summarize. This was followed by a session led by Reverend Chung Hwan Kwak on the practical implementation of Reverend Moon's vision. One small item bears mention here:

We would like to have 100 new holy songs by the end of this year. All members are invited to submit written lyrics, preferably in Korean, to the World Mission Department, by the end of September. Selected composers will put the 100 lyrics selected by True Parents to melody. The suggested themes for these songs are: The original relationship of God, man and the creation; the ideal of perfection; God's dominion and sovereignty; True Love; the love for God, the people and the nation; giving glory to God; giving glory and gratitude to True Parents; the Completed Testament Age.

And, by the way, the finals of the yute game were played in New York after the bus back from Washington. They began at about midnight and concluded around 3 am. The winners were: 1. United States Regions 1, 2 and 3; 2. United States Regions 10 and 11; 3. Asia.

A Reflection on a Passage in 2 Corinthians - Part I

"The god of this age has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God." (2 Corinthians 4:4)

Perception is built upon belief. Thus, as the apostle Paul wrote, unbelief makes us blind, incapable of perception. Paul wrote in cosmic terms having to do with belief in Christ. In this realm, unbelief allows the god of this world, Satan, to blind us to the image of God. This is in fact the ultimate instance of a common psychological phenomenon, that the way we perceive the world, and even what we perceive in it, is shaped by the beliefs-or prejudices, if you will- which we bring to the world.

Most educated people believe in science, but this is not a great surprise, as modern education is based upon the presupposition of the validity of science, it is not so much as questioned. But have you seen an atom? No; we accept the proof of photographs as interpreted by the scientists. Have researchers found Darwin's "missing link", any missing link? No; but the theory is appealing to many and so many believe in it and believe that traces of such links must exist somewhere. And then there are the results of technologies developed on the basis of the scientific interpretation of reality, from computers to missiles to various fabrics and pills, the ultimate value of which to the human race is not yet entirely clear.

Most people believe in religion, and the less education they have, in general, the more simple their beliefs are likely to be. (The one exception to the rule of "the more education, the less faith" is that of the encounter with the death of a loved one, at which point atheism usually departs for a period of time; the pain of living in a universe desolate of soul is too great for any of us to bear.) Have they seen Jesus? No; they accept the proof of photographs, paintings and stories as interpreted by the religious teachers. Have they seen Noah's ark? No; although there are photographs, and a full-sized replica on display in West Virginia. And then there are the results of the ethical systems developed on the basis of the religious interpretation of reality, from hospitals to holy wars, the ultimate value of which, again, is not entirely clear.

If belief in God opens one up to perceiving the world as the creation of God, with an order, beauty and goodness inherent within it, then disbelief in God rids the world of the same (save for the paltry order, beauty and goodness which the individual mind might be able to impose upon it, an imposition temporary at best, and most effective under the influence of intoxicants).

If perception is built upon belief, then disbelief will prevent certain perceptions, will, in Paul's words, blind our minds to them. That is, if belief in the existence of atoms leads to perceiving the world in ways which open up all kinds of technologies, then disbelief in atoms will close one off to all those technological possibilities. If one believes that all people are enemies of himself, or of his religion or race, then all people will tend to appear that way.

I, who once considered myself free of prejudice, had an interesting and disconcerting experience in this connection a few years ago. In an airplane preceding take-off, a young man took the seat next to mine, and then stood up and left. A few minutes later the flight attendant asked me what the young man looked like; they were worried that he had boarded the plane with a bomb, planted it and then deplaned. I answered, with a fair degree of confidence, he had black hair and a swarthy complexion-he looked middle eastern. Well, they ended up taking me around the plane and we did locate him, trying to hustle a seat in business class. Immediately I recognized him to be the young man who had sat next to me, and his name matched the seat assignments. I kid you not: he was blond-haired and blue-eyed. Belief, mistaken though it was (that all people who carry bombs onto airplanes are from the middle east), had absolutely determined my perception.

Every sane person believes something. Merely to utter a word to another person presupposes belief in the efficacy of language, in the sanity of that person, and in the likelihood of that person's hearing and responding. The question of greater significance is what it is that we believe, and the nature of the world which our beliefs enable us to perceive. The corollary concern is the nature of the possibilities which disbelief may prevent us from perceiving.

Let's consider an archetypal story for starters, the biblical one of the first ancestors. A young man and woman came into existence in a garden, which the scripture profusely describes as a very fine place to be. The condition of their dwelling there, as it turned out, was their belief in God's commandment not to eat of the fruit, for the day they ate of it they would die. Viewing the world from the perspective of that belief, they would have acted upon it, not eating the fruit, and would have remained in the Garden-that is, they would have seen the world as a Garden.

However, they disbelieved and, acting upon disbelief, they ate of the fruit. As a result, their self-perception changed: the notion of "nakedness" came into being for them, as a mark of shame. Further, the world, which had been a Garden, turned into a field of tears, sweat and blood. Did the world objectively change? Were they literally chased from a fertile area into a desert? It is unlikely. Fertile areas do not guarantee peaceful and happy people, nor do wildernesses force people into savagery. Polynesians who live in the most luxuriant of climes indulge in cannibalism; while Christian monks turned the wilderness of Europe into a land of prosperity and civilization. Whether we have wilderness or civilization depends upon the spirit of the people who inhabit the earth. Due to disbelief, Adam and Eve came to see the world as a wilderness.

Let's consider a second realm of belief, that made in response to the claims of Christianity for Jesus Christ as the Son of God. Belief in these claims opens one to the expectation of the resurrection of the dead to eternal life. Disbelief in this claim closes one off to this possibility; the disbeliever cannot see the world from the perspective of this reality. The golden light of resurrection does not shine.

Of course, every religion has its golden light of resurrection in some form or other: nirvana, paradise, heaven. There is something more pertinent to be pointed out in the belief system of Christianity: participation in the Kingdom of God, in which all humankind is united as one family. That is, Christianity presents a vision of humankind as one family, a realm of cosmopolitan love. Jesus' teachings were non- discriminatory; "Go and teach all the nations." Christianity, for all its major shortcomings, has maintained this ideal of the Fatherhood of God and brotherhood of man. No religion, save perhaps Islam, which emerged after Christ, enabled the believer to see the world as one family, as relatives, as children of the same parents.

It is in this sense that the Divine Principle calls Christianity the central religion: "What makes Christianity different from other religions is that its purpose is to restore the one great world family which God had intended at the creation. . . . This signifies that Christianity is the central religion that will accomplish the purpose of God's providence of restoration." (p. 123; cf. p. 441) Thus, belief in Christianity opens one to the perception of all people as one's brothers and sisters, which is a pre-condition of world peace and love. Without this Christian-rooted belief, where would one ground one's perception of humankind as a whole?

Well, Marx and Lenin taught it. Communism is based upon belief in the universal proletariat, the workers of the world. However, the Marxist terms of this vision are not viable anymore; they have many flaws fatal to man and beast. The communists did not see the world finally as one family, as it turned out, but as one factory.

Okay, okay, Coca-Cola teaches it, so does MTV, David Letterman, Bill and Hillary and the Jesse's J. and H. and I'm sure O.J. Simpson subscribes to it whole-heartedly. Can these people sustain this vision? No; they are subscribers, not publishers. Their subscriptions were paid for by somebody else, and they have no idea for how long.

And, yes, the Pope of Rome teaches it, and the Archbishop of Canterbury and all the new wave of American Evangelical stars teach it. Will this sustain the world for much longer? No, according to the Divine Principle, the day of New Testament faith is past; the New Testament Age is over. The sun and moon are losing their light and the stars are falling from heaven. The ax has been laid to the root. New wineskins are needed for new wine.

What do we do with this pronouncement, given during the century in which, objectively speaking, institutional Christianity has gained as powerful a worldwide presence as it ever has had? I would point out that Christian thought-serious discussion in Christian terms of God, sin and salvation, the church, the spirit and flesh, the atonement and the second coming-as if these things really matter-is not to be found. Since the end of World War 2, what we find to have emerged are factional theologies, based upon the concerns of those who identify themselves over-against others (blacks, whites, latinos, the poor, women, homosexuals), those who thus do not in actuality see humankind as a whole. At best, current theological discussion addresses the application of Christian values to contemporary moral and ethical dilemmas. Meritorious, but one is not saved by merit, and these trends seem to me a sign of a dying system of ideas, striving to find the resources within itself to solve the problems of the society which came into being out of its own womb. The Roman church could not solve the problems of medieval church/society because that society was produced by the church itself.

I am reminded of the time of the Protestant Reformation. The best and brightest of the Catholic Church agreed that a reformation of morality and practice was long overdue, and that someone jolly well should do something, and decrees were passed and books weighty, clever and wise were written, but all were skirting the issue until an anxiety-ridden priest who could not find peace with God struck at the root of the belief system itself.

The best and brightest of Luther's time were doing meritorious works for the sake of the world-in the terms the world accepted and applauded, and the best and brightest of Jesus' time were doing the same, but when the ax struck the root, the world fell to pieces because it was those very terms which were the problem. The ax was not a literal ax; it was literal words, and literal life living out those words. The tongue is a sword, said the apostle James; and the Lord, it is written in Revelation, will slay them with the sword of his mouth. The time will come, Jesus said, when I will bring you into all the truth. The truth will judge the world, in very realistic terms.

It will turn out that someone is right; that God is working through someone to teach us how to live, and those who do not recognize that, it follows as day follows the night, will not find life. The Divine Principle claims that we are in that time today, and its author claims that the Divine Principle itself is part of this new expression of truth.

to be continued

February 1995

World CARP Holds Conference in CO

by Michael Balcomb-NYC

"You were one of the best groups we've ever had," I was told by ski trainer Jeff at Eldora, Colorado. "When we heard there were 150 people, and that more than half had never been skiing before, we had visions of disaster!" Jeff was not the only one who had had such visions. The thought of multiple fractures had kept World CARP staff awake at night as well! But in the end, the first annual World CARP Conference and ski workshop was held without a hitch. About 150 of the 170 participants went up the slopes, and all of them came down again safely.

The conference, held in Boulder Co from Dec. 28 to Jan 3, was the first time that the World CARP members had all met together since the kickoff workshop in September last year. In that short time, almost 7,000 students have participated in various programs on campus and at video centers in six cities, New York, Boston, Washington DC, Chicago, LA and San Francisco.. Over 400 have graduated from at least 2 day workshop and there are a growing number studying Principle everyday. So it was with a modest sense of accomplishment that the teams converged on the Rocky Mountain region training center.

Skiing filled the first three days of the conference. Sung Am Moon, World CARP Vice-President, greeted participants with a welcome gift-a ski jacket donated from a sponsoring company in Korea. This World CARP uniform made quite an impact at the resort, with several people wanting to know how they could get one for themselves, and one young man revealing himself as a former CARP member who wanted to rejoin the CARP activities.

In the evenings, tired but exhilarated, we sat down to a series of guest lectures. One night, Antonio Betancourt related the activities and achievements of the Summit Council and the Federation for World Peace, including his personal testimonies of visits into North Korea, still a mystery to most of us. Another evening, Tom Lauritas testified of his nine years as an underground missionary inside the former Soviet Union, and how God had gradually guided him to meet the people he had prepared, even in the most difficult circumstances.

Tom's testimony was particularly moving for one group of participants- the 25 students from Russia, the Ukraine and other states in the CIS and Baltics. These young men and women are the first fruits of the perseverance of those missionaries, like Tom Lauritas, who risked their lives to bear witness in the communist world. Now they are here in the United States to repay the favor, and doing the job well. Among the conference participants were a number of young Americans who had recently joined CARP after meeting our young Russian pioneers.

In fact, testimonies of all kinds were probably the highlight of the entire conference. Each of the six teams, as well as the two fundraising teams, had selected a few members to share the highpoints of their experiences during the past three or four months. As they did, it became clear that the situation on campus has changed dramatically, even within the past year. Marxists and leftists, for so long formidable and ideologically powerful opponents, have disappeared completely. There are many Christian groups, but they cannot, on the whole, transcend ethnic boundaries. CARP stands out as the most active and well-organized student group.

Another exciting part of the conference was the "Campus Presentation Competition," held on the last day of the year. Young CARP members, including Russians and the children of older Unificationists, vied with each other to present the most entertaining model campus presentation. Topics varied widely from fairly straight Divine Principle to the principles of self-help and time management, and even a discourse on the new sexual revolution-the return to virginity. The eventual winner was George Kazakis, of Los Angeles CARP.

Later, Vice-President Jin Hun Park Moon outlined the World CARP plan for 1995 to offer today's young generation an exciting and challenging way to begin their spiritual life and be trained to be the principled leaders that society needs. CARP's current campus programs reflect that policy. We are debating the end of the sexual revolution, the coming of a unified world culture, the harmony of religions and races, the reality of the spiritual world and the role that young people can play in the world of the 21st century. Many students are already eagerly participating in our voluntary service programs.

In 1995, Jin Hun Nim announced, World CARP would go further to formalize its education plan by the creation of a one year program of education to be known as the "World CARP Academy." This would be a time of training: learning to discipline one's mind and body; learning to be humble; learning to get victory based on determination; and experiencing the reality of spiritual help. Throughout the year, students would also have opportunities to invest in the community through local service projects and perhaps travel abroad and participate in an international service projects, arranged through World CARP or in conjunction with the Religious Youth Service (RYS). Rigorous and practical academic training, as well as a period of professional internship, would round out the training year (more in the next issue)

The Conference also included a day of celebrations to commemorate the 28th God's Day. Members of the Boulder and Denver congregations of the Unification Church joined together with World CARP at midnight for prayers of dedication for the New Year and to hear an address by Mrs. Un Jin Moon, Jin Hun Nim's wife.

In the morning, it was Jin Hun Nim's turn to share his insights into the God's Day message delivered by Rev. Moon earlier that day in Korea. "This is really the time," he told the congregation, "to recommit yourself to serve God and True Parents, and to make a difference in America and the world. Shall we do that together?"

After that moment of determination, celebrations continued with a by- now traditional Divine Principle lecture competition, and a hard fought Yoot tournament which eventually saw Herman Drost's Washington DC team victorious. There was also a lecture competition for children, who were thrilled to receive their prizes from surprise guests Yeon Jin Nim and Jeung Jin Nim, Rev & Mrs. Moon's youngest daughters.

All too soon, it was time to say good-bye, and return to the field. But most everyone was raring to go. "This was the best workshop I've ever been to," said one participant, "I'm going back to light a CARP fire on my campus."

When Your Heart Chills Out, Part 2

We have been examining the problem of the gradual numbing of our feelings, such that we find our passion for people and the providence turning cold. In part one, we discussed how feelings are meant to be expressed, and that we have many emotions we view as undesirable- anger, fear, hatred, guilt- that we do not want to even recognize, let alone express. When these forbidden feelings are stifled they spoil and become destructive to us or others in often unseen ways.

One tactic we often use to cope with this is to act as if we do not have fallen nature. We suppress our feelings so skillfully we do not know they are there. By attempting to foster the growth of our original natures we hope to starve our unacceptable feelings out of existence. Let us explore the consequences of such tactics.

Pretense demands a price

Though the policy of "fake it til you make it"- act as if you are now what you hope to be- has merit, if it becomes standard operating procedure we run the risk of permanent pretense. Behind our facades, we benignly smile while fireworks are going off inside. Such make- believe may keep peace and help us function for a time but at what price?

Instead of being motivated by God's truth and love, we find ourselves living out of reaction to negative emotions. Our prayer lives suffer because there is more left unsaid than honestly shared with God, and low spirit world is attracted to the confused tangle of feelings kept below our awareness. Our bodies react to being emotional dumping grounds and develop aches and ailments that are increasingly troublesome. The habits and rationales we developed to conceal the unreality become more and more unwieldy.

People around us are deprived of authentic and intimate relationships with us and we feel lonely. Worse, we end up being downright hurtful to other people, especially those we love. This is because the forbidden emotions often leak out in subtle ways: the rough way we treat our children even as we try to be tender, the sabotaging of our friends' happiness by being unable to receive their gift gracefully, the "guilt trip" delivered in the midst of an inspirational talk. We often react to new experiences out of built-up past feelings instead of responding to the present reality.

How many of us have experienced the shortcomings of the policy of "accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative"? The classic example is the miraculous "cure" of destructive sentiments toward the opposite sex during our lives as celibates, only to have old monsters return-sometimes with cronies we never knew before!-when we enter into sexual intimacy with our spouses.

All emotion is blocked

Anger, guilt, shame, hatred-these may persist despite our efforts to ignore or suppress them. To the extent that these emotions are policed and held at bay, many desirable feelings are kept in. The "feelings filter" cannot discriminate between good emotions and bad, because all are inherently neutral and become good or evil according to how they are directed. (We recall Divine Principle's explanation that fallen nature is wrongly directed original nature; self-centered rather than God-centered.) As examples, consider anger and guilt. Anger is a God- given impulse to protect ourselves and loved ones from being violated. Guilt is a mechanism to protect our conscience. However, if either one of these helpful emotions are used in a self-centered way, they can tyrannize us.

If we are ashamed of our anger toward someone and refuse to let it out, we may find our affection is likewise inhibited. If our fear of a task is not admitted, so our ambition and enthusiasm may not be able to surface. If our guilt over misdeeds is kept in hiding, so our joy over achievements may also be kept in reserve.

In this we find the reason for the chilling out of the heart. We have so many forbidden feelings that we dare not feel anything for fear the bad ones will run amok to embarrass us and damage other people and our performance.

What to do? The answer lies at the very heart of one of the radical insights of Christianity and Unificationism: conquer evil by loving the enemy centered on God. This truth applies not only to our relationships with others but in dealing with the "enemy" inside ourselves as well. It is a principle that works, and it will be elaborated upon in the third part of this series.

True Meaning of Christmas

Last year, through the grace of God, our family was finally able to move to our hometown of Palm Coast, Florida. Along with Tom's brother, who is now a blessed church member, we were able to purchase the home previously owned by Tom's parents.

Already Tom's parents had died, but had left a foundation of heart and love for this community. Though it has been hectic this first year trying to make a financial foundation here, our sincerest desire was that the house we bought could soon be used to restore others and bring them to God and True Parents.

In the past few months God sent many neighbors and contacts we were able to connect with in our hometown area, so we decided this "Christmas" we would show them the "true meaning of Christmas."

Recently we had met one couple from Communist China who not only didn't believe in God, but had never been to an American Christmas celebration. Also, God sent two very nice East Indian families into our lives as neighbors and friends.

Having fundraised on every Christmas for almost the last 18 years, my husband and I were determined to create a "real Christmas" atmosphere for our friends and neighbors. Also, with the support of our wonderful Northern Florida church families, God was able to create an unforgettable experience for all.

We put up lights and Christmas tree with all handmade ornaments from Tom's mother, grandmother and aunts, and had two new ones engraved with True Father and True Mother and one for the True Children, to put on our family tree. Our son, with help from some neighbor children, decorated all the windows with snow (since we live in Florida) and we opened the house to all our neighbors, contacts and church members for a wonderful international potluck Christmas party and Sunday service.

Richard Sapp, our excellent pastor and city leader from Jacksonville, gave a moving sermon on "The True Meaning of Christmas" and why the True Parents have come, based on biblical history. Because our guests were Hindu, Zoroastrian and atheist, they were hearing about Jesus for the first time. He concluded his sermon with a testimony about Rev. and Mrs. Moon and the importance and need for True Parents at this time in history.

Our assistant pastor and Sunday school teacher, Lenny Thiesen, gave a wonderful talk to the children during the service. And we were especially blessed that Lenny's elderly father drove by himself for over an hour to attend the service, too! We really felt he represented all the grandparents in our tribe.

Everyone brought a food from their country, Chinese, Indian, Japanese and American, plus our seven-year-old son David baked over two hundred Christmas cookies. We also had a wonderful birthday celebration for two members, and Christmas presents were given to all the children.

Even my son's first-grade teacher stopped in for a visit and stayed for over an hour talking about God with us.

In total, we had about forty people in our small home. Even the cold from a very wild rainstorm could not dampen God's warm spirit inside. Finally the sun came out and smiled on our heavenly gathering as the children played with bubbles on the lawn. Our last guest finally left about 9pm. In parting, our communist friends said they "had been hoping to meet an American family they could become friends with." We told them, that is why "God sent them to us." They responded by saying, "Maybe soon we will believe in God, too!"

It is our hope that someday we will be able to bring all of our neighbors, friends and family to hear about God and True Parents.

At least for now, this Christmas was a wonderful beginning!