By Farley & Betsy Jones
7/22/95
The Family Federation is an important vehicle to allow couples of diverse religious traditions to receive True Parents' Blessing and be educated in the traditions of Heaven. The following talk was given by Farley Jones to couples preparing for the 1995 Blessing.
Farley Jones
Over the past few months we have been conducting Blessing workshops introducing people to the Blessing. Many times people ask, "Well, what is the Blessing?" What's so blessed about the Blessing? It's a very legitimate question. One person said to me recently, "Well, what I've been saying to people is it's like getting a blessing from the pope, but even better." People value the blessing from the pope. So that dimension of it is an historically recognized phenomenon, that is, that a person of spiritual stature by expressing some spiritual energy toward another can affect that person's destiny.
But when one comes to True Parents' Blessing, one puts himself or herself in the position to inherit the spiritual and physical lineage of True Parents. Through the Blessing we come into a new position as a new Adam, or a new Eve, because we are placed in the position of original Adam and original Eve, prior to the fall. We also cross a threshold. What is the threshold? The threshold is that under True Parents' auspices, we commit ourselves to another person. That's the threshold that we pass, the critical threshold of which True Parents teach. The new relationship with God and True Parents that begins with the Blessing comes through our beginning to fulfill the spiritual ideal they teach and by making a commitment to become the people of true love whom they urge us to become.
Marriage, it is said, is an institution that's made more for giving than for taking. That's a very interesting description of marriage. It's an institution that's constructed in such a way, that it works best if we approach it from the point of view of one who is going to give to it.
As some of you may know, two of our children this time are participating in the Blessing. Our oldest child, our son, was talking with my wife about his coming matching and Blessing a couple of months ago. Her advice to him was this: Think of it as an opportunity to make someone happy. That's great advice. An opportunity to make someone happy. Have you heard the song? "Make someone happy. Just make one someone happy." Jimmy Durante used to sing it. Marriage is a precious opportunity, if you think about it. Each of you through the Blessing will have that enormous power to make another human being profoundly happy. That's the opportunity that you are given. And of course, to succeed is a fantastic accomplishment. Think about it, that, at the end of your life, you can say to yourself, "I have made my spouse happy." It is wonderful to be able to say that. This is the horizon that faces you now. So if you have this orientation toward your Blessing, it will help you greatly.
Others have said that we should think of the Blessing as an offering of ourselves to God. We have a profound belief in a God of love, but how is God's love to reach one's spouse? Who is in the best position to give God's love to that person? Well, obviously, it's "me". So in coming into this relationship it's helpful to think of this whole process as an offering; we are making an offering of ourselves. And it's not an offering that we make once; rather, this is the attitude that we need to carry with us into the years ahead of us; we're always trying to be a channel for God's love. Always the task is to be mindful of that kind of orientation in our daily life, and to practice that kind of spirituality.
Another way to think about the Blessing is as a gateway. No doubt it's a gateway. It's obvious it's going to open a whole new horizon. There are several areas for which the Blessing serves as a gateway. One is self-transformation. You will be changed. You will be changed for the better over time. We understand that as individuals we can grow to a certain level and from there we grow as a couple. Well, I firmly believe in that model: there's only a certain amount of growth one can achieve as an individual. When you are in a relationship with your spouse, a whole new reality is going to unfold to you, one that will challenge you, and change you. Further, as long as you remain vertically connected and apply the principles of our spiritual orientation, the change is going to be for the better. The change is going to make you a more God-like person. So the Blessing is a gateway to personal transformation.
Secondly, it's a gateway to crisis. In October my wife and I celebrated our 25th anniversary. Honestly, there were points in our marriage where we wondered, "Are we going to make it? Can we continue?" There was that kind of strain and internal anguish that we encountered. However, by God's grace we got through those crises. Over time, 25 years, our marriage has come to a very solid foundation. Well, I don't want to discourage you to think that you will have 25 years of struggle. But honestly, somewhere around the 13th year, I felt as if something settled down in our relationship. So you have to give yourself time. But you also have to expect that it's not going to be easy.
I will say this, too: Marriage is also a gateway to God's close support, to heaven's support. In miraculous ways I believe God lent His hand to our marriage and to our relationship. I express my gratitude this morning.
Next, I consider that Blessing is destiny. My experience is that God is profoundly concerned about the success of families. We have the notion that God is an integrated being of masculinity and femininity, a harmonized being of oneness. Well, that's what we are meant to achieve in our marriages. Rev. Young Whi Kim says that in the spirit world a husband and wife who are truly one can actually meld their spiritual bodies. So you have the image of one body with two heads. Whether we think of the unity of spiritual bodies as a metaphorical image, or a true spiritual unity of heart and mind, nevertheless that's the place we are meant to get to. That's our destiny. Again, that takes time. But to achieve that unity is our internal purpose here on earth.
Finally, the Blessing is mission. I think of this in two senses. First, we have the mission of giving birth to a new lineage ourselves. True Parents have given birth to this historical lineage. We are participating in that lineage, but through our own children we are going to pass on this new lineage. There is an American novelist who wrote that, in his words, after going through a divorce he realized that divorce represented the "death of a small civilization." So parents have that kind of power and destiny to create within their own families a microcosmic civilization: a new culture and a new lineage. That's our mission.
The husband and wife relationship is so central to your children's destiny. My wife has quoted to me, on more than one occasion, the teaching of a Catholic priest, that the best thing a husband can do for his children is to love their mother, and the best thing that a mother can do for her children is to love their father. When the children see that quality in your relationship, it's going to do so much for them spiritually and emotionally.
We are aware, too, of the international matches that True Parents have inaugurated. Cultures are coming together in such matches. That's a wonderful aspect for those of you who have an international match. I am happy for you. You are people who are going to help bring the world together. Again, it is a profound opportunity, another dimension of your Blessing.
The second aspect of mission that I want to mention briefly is that: given our high vision, and profound spiritual understanding, we want to be able to lead others along this same path. True Parents clearly are in the process of creating a whole new history and a whole new society on a global scale. The August wedding is a wedding of 360,000 couples, but you may know that True Parents are now envisioning that the next Blessing will consist of 3.6 million couples. So we have a big job to do and we need to do it successfully. Let's all take responsibility to lead others on this same path. By doing that, definitely we are leading them and the world in a very positive, promising direction.