1977.1.14
We are in Monroe, Louisiana, where we have permission but somehow Mike Joyce and Ray Sabo got arrested at $500 bond each.
I kept meeting crazy Christians. Nothing came of those encounters and I won't waste the space in this book to put down their ideas. Suffice to say they didn't really want to listen to anything.
My 23rd birthday came and went without event. Captain gave me a Bible. Reading it brings me a lot of comfort.
1977.1.17
True Parents came to the Dallas MFT center yesterday.
Gary Page and I were fundraising the dormitories at Louisiana Tech in Ruston, but I got kicked out twice almost right away. I was walking outside and Tony drove by, yelling frantically to me that Father was coming to Dallas. We quickly found everyone and drove to Shreveport, where we took a plane to Dallas. We arrived about half an hour after Father had begun speaking.
Father and Mother were sitting on the sofa. It was the most intimate I had ever experienced. There were relatively few people: Louisiana MFT, Texas MFT and the recently formed International One World Crusade (IOWC) team, which was fundraising in Dallas.
Father spoke about love and how sisters are more heartistic and generally one step ahead of brothers, therefore brothers, as archangels, should follow the example of sisters as Eve to come back to Adam. Father said that it was our love for him which made it impossible for anyone outside the church to understand us. Finally he explained that our purpose is to save the people, educate the people, and establish the heavenly tradition. Someday Father wants to take several thousand IOWC members to Korea and restore all of Korea in one day.
After Father spoke we had our picture taken with him. Somehow I managed to sit right next to Mother.
After they left, Commander Hayashi was very upset that no one had taped Father's speech because it was a historical, important event. Later he said it was good that our team made it to see Father because it reflected unity with Captain Hernandez, which God was able to work through to bring us to see True Parents.
Lately when I'm out fundraising and people ask me about the church, I've been telling them that the second coming has happened, that the messiah is alive and on the Earth, and that Father is the messiah.
1977.2.20
Tomorrow is the last day of competition and right now I am doing the brothers' laundry. This competition has been fairly difficult, nor have I been fundraising every day.
The last few days of January I spent doing PR work in several towns, including Alexandria, which has been our greatest problem permission-wise. I took my direction from Steven Schutte, my old team captain in Colorado before Captain Yasuda. Steven had been doing permission work here in Louisiana since the beginning of the year, and I took over from him as there are a lot police problems in the state, one of the worst in the country.
At first I didn't know what I was supposed to do, but eventually I caught on. Basically, the problem is that there are no ordinances in most places against fundraising, nor should there be as it is our constitutional right under the first amendment to fundraise. But almost every town is negative toward the church so they won't grant us permission, which means if we fundraise and they get a complaint, they will arrest us. Even if the case gets thrown out in court, since we didn't actually break any laws, they just want to discourage us from coming to their towns.
So somehow we -- I -- must persuade them to grant us the right to fundraise without harassment. I traveled around by myself for a couple weeks in a small rental car, an AMC Pacer, and went town to town, talking to the city managers, mayors, city attorneys, chiefs of police -- anyone in authority who could give us permission, and then try to get it in writing.
At night I would fundraise parking lots. Lately we've been selling key chains, with clear plastic bulbs filled with fluid and tiny arrangements of dried flowers. They're really quite pretty and easy to sell. They're not nearly as bulky or heavy to carry around as candy or candles or even flowers. The Eagles have a new song on the radio called "Hotel California" that I really like. One night I had it playing in my head as I ran around selling key chains, and the song made me feel really good. I made a lot of money that night.
I love the line from that song, "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave." That perfectly describes the church. Outsiders think the church is a place or physical thing that someone can walk away from. It's not. It's a way of thinking, a belief system. I can be hundreds of miles away from members and church centers and it doesn't matter. I carry the church around in my head.
One of the towns I got permission in was Lake Charles. I drove the team there and as I had agreed with the police chief a couple weeks earlier, I registered our names with the police department when we came to town. I guess they knew they couldn't stop us legally, but they had some other tricks. On our second morning in town, the Beaumont Enterprise newspaper carried a front page story titled, "Moonies Soliciting in Lake Charles." It wasn't so bad. At least they gave us credit as a legitimate organization. The local radio also had some reports about us being in town, so we encountered a great deal of negativity.
But we didn't get arrested. I've come to learn that we must take responsibility for the people's negativity. It is not their fault. It's our fault. It's up to us to fix it.
Richard Ehrlich from Oakland, whom I hadn't seen since Yankee Stadium, came to our team. He fundraised for a few days and then became captain of the challenge team, which were the high sellers challenging to made new records. One night we were blitzing Lafayette and Richard never came to pick us up. Turned out he had run the van off the road and had a pretty bad wreck and broke his back. He was operated on in New Orleans yesterday, but we haven't heard anything else.
One of our top sellers is a brother named Howard Comis. I've never met anyone else like him in the church. He is Italian and has an incredible sense of humor. In school he must have been the class clown. He's always doing Daffy Duck and Porky Pig impressions that are hilarious. Even when he's dead serious, he has an expression on his face that makes you want to smile and laugh.
One night after we were done fundraising we were having unison prayer in the van and Howie was sitting next to Roger, one of the most humble and pleasant and intelligent brothers you'd ever want to meet. Everyone was so serious in their prayer, thanking God for the fundraising result they had made, offering the money to heaven.
Howie suddenly blurted out really loud, "Heavenly Father, please forgive Roger for his fallen nature. He doesn't realize how obnoxious and evil he is and how he's dragging down the entire team. Amen." We all started laughing and couldn't stop for a long time. We laughed so hard we were crying. Howie had that effect on everyone, everywhere he went. No matter how much the rest of the team was struggling, Howie could always cheer everyone up. And Howie always made a lot of money. He was like the perfect member.
1977.3.25
A lot of really strange things happened today. I don't know any other way to put it.
First of all, one of my favorite sisters, Debbie Koerner, left today. She managed to get into the apartment to get her things and split. Then our brand new van got smashed up and broken into.
Tonight, while Donna and I were fundraising in the French Quarter some man was shot and killed right outside the bar we were in. To get away from the chaos, I went down Bourbon Street to a nightclub. I knew I couldn't get inside, so I just waiting by the door. Just then Joe Namath came out.
He was wearing a fur coat and had an attractive brunette with a death grip on his bicep. They were both really drunk and could hardly stand up. Joe looked at me and I asked him if he wanted to buy some flowers. He automatically started reaching for his wallet but the lady just hissed at me and said, "Ah doh WAN enny!"
Joe seemed kind of confused about what he should do. He was really unsteady on his feet, and the woman hanging on him wasn't helping his balance. She kept tugging on his arm, weaving back and forth, pleading in a thick, slurred drawl: "C'mon Zhoe, lesh go! C'mon Zhoe, lesh go!" Joe kind of blinked and found me long enough in his focus to shrug his shoulders as if to say, "Sorry, kid." I was about to press him again when Joe's bodyguard stepped between us and told me to forget it.
Then Donna and I went over to wait for the van in front of the Marriott Hotel, and Reid from Oakland, who had been kidnapped and deprogrammed more than a year ago, just casually walked up. He acted very friendly, asked me how I was doing. Later in the van it made me feel uneasy, like Reid had been looking for me and it wasn't just some coincidence. I started to think maybe Reid was sent to kidnap me.
Commander Hayashi was moved to California. We're getting a new commander. His name is Larry Glasner.
1977.5.23
National MFT has been reorganized again. My team's area is West Texas. We also have a new commander, W. I think he's younger than me physically but slightly older spiritually. Until now I'd never heard of him. He has a very "bookish" appearance," not someone I would think of as an MFT type. He reminds me of my Uncle Bill. I like him very much.
What happened is that our other commander, Larry Glasner, who took over the region about six weeks ago, broke his toe at a commanders' meeting and it became aggravated to the point about a week ago that it wasn't going to heal without an operation. So he arranged with his father, who is a wealthy doctor in Beverly Hills, to have the surgery done for free.
But now his parents won't turn him loose or let anyone communicate with him. No one has said anything officially, but it looks to me like Mr. Glasner was kidnapped and is probably undergoing deprogramming as we speak. Otherwise New York would not have installed a new commander in our region.
I am leading a small team in West Texas: Jackie Lott, Linda McCoy and David Adams. Linda and I formed an instant bond. She's very cute, with blond hair bobbed short like most of the sisters. Unlike a lot of sisters, short hair looks good on her. She seems very sincere about uniting with me as her Abel. She listens to what I say and shows me a lot of respect in front of the other members, even calling me "Captain," even though I'm really not. Every day she has had good results and makes an honest effort to report her experiences. I feel her unity with me will be the foundation to build a strong team.
In my year or so on MFT, this kind of relationship has been the most consistent factor in a successful team. If the dominate sister on the team -- someone in the position of mother or Eve -- is united with the Captain (Adam / Abel), the rest of the team prospers. This cannot be a phony relationship. The sister has to genuinely feel a bond with the Abel figure, from the heart not the head. In the fallen world it would be called a crush or being in love, but here it has a deeper significance. We're restoring the fall, so relationships between men and women must be restored from boyfriend and girlfriend to brother and sister. The emotion is the same, but the way that love is expressed it pure and wholesome and without sin.
I can tell Linda likes me, and she can tell I like her. We don't have to say anything. Since we both know Principle, we know we won't let our emotions get carried away and fall. We will use the affection between us to raise up the entire team. It's a struggle, but a nice one. Love feels good.
Commander came to visit our team. I could tell right away he liked the unity of our team, which has been reflected in the team's results. We're a small but happy group, ready and willing to work hard for heaven. As a treat, commander took us to Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico and we spent the day walking through the cavern, and in the evening we watched the bats come out. Then we went out for a steak dinner.
A couple days later I was summoned to Dallas for a captains' meeting. Commander told us MFT was now in the perfection stage, meaning our unity as a true family would attract monetary results like iron filings to a magnet. Then he took us to a Japanese tea garden in Fort Worth where we walked and talked some more and finally went out to dinner at a Chinese restaurant.
1977.6.6
I've been living at the MFT center in Grapevine with Commander and Darold Turrock's team. It's been a terrible struggle.
I pushed myself while fundraising here in Dallas, but the other day I made less than $50. Everyone else did much better. I finally stopped and prayed and asked God for help. Linda flashed through my mind, and I heard a voice say: "Too young, too dark, too soon."
Today I only made $34. As soon as I got back in the van, Mark Hernandez, the team captain, was attacked by sleep spirits. When he looked at my total he hit me. I know I deserved it, but I don't know what to do.
Linda is still out on another team. She has been doing extremely well every day.
1977.7.17
Linda and I are on a Greyhound headed to Austin to join Tony's team. Even before commander told me of the change, I knew it was coming. I had been leading a team for the past month out of the center. We didn't get any great crushing victories, but I felt a wonderful unity developing. I spent a lot of time mapping out area in Dallas, really trying to unite with commander and set a high standard.
I miss the center so much. I miss Mother Serenity, whose son Paul is in the church, and her health food breakfasts and lunches. I miss Challenge, the German shepherd puppy that commander bought. Every night we would come home and Challenge, who's about six months old, and I would play in the yard. No matter how badly the world treats you, a dog is always happy to see you. He reminded me of Ailsa, the German shepherd I had when we were kids in Dover.
Sometimes early in the morning, before dawn, commander, Tony and I would get up and go fishing for an hour at Grapevine Lake, which is right at the back of our property.
One time we had to go recover $1,000 from a brother named George, who stole it from Captain Hernandez. It was such an evil condition. I wonder if George is even still alive.
But I feel I am a spiritual logjam in Grapevine. I need a new challenge. Howie is coming to stay at the center to support commander and fundraise from there.
I love Texas.
1977.7.18
Today was my first day back on Tony's team in Austin. I made $125. I was attacked by waves of resentment during the evening in the parking lot. I must learn to overcome this resentment. In my heart I don't want to forgive the people for their negativity and refusing to give, but I know they will accuse me in spirit world if I don't.