1975.10.19
Just got back from the weekend flower trip, which went really well. I don't feel as exhausted as I have in the past.
We went to Santa Cruz instead of Reno by divine inspiration. When we got there there was a parade in progress, so Diane and I sold to the crowd. The entire team consisted of myself, Diane, James, Barbara, Rich, Peter and Walter, and we were headed up by Mitch, who was really guided by HF all weekend. This parade only happens once a year, and since nothing happens by chance or accident, I knew that this parade was a big part of the heavenly inspiration that sent us there.
I was talking to one lady about buying flowers, but when she said no, her little girl said yes. Children are just so pure. A little later, I was standing at the corner of Front and Laurel and it was just about time for Mitch to come when some black guy just stopped his car and bought a half-dozen. On another run I sold a rose to a lady and in her car was a little girl, and when the girl got out to get the rose I was amazed at how much she looked like Gretchen. She said to me, "You're pretty." I just couldn't get over it.
Later that same run Rich told me about an experience he had in a hardware store where the guy knew about and supported Reverend Moon and said so openly. After he bought some roses, every other person in the place came and bought out all of Rich's bombed-out roses. The power of the word. Really!
I had some really good bar runs and ended the day with $96.11. We drove up into the Santa Cruz Mountains in the state park and slept out in the redwood forest. When we got up this morning, I just couldn't get over the sheer beauty of the place. Nature is just so right on. It's like I had never seen it before, even though I had been in very similar places before, like Big Sur and Oregon. This time was different, however.
I was not really inspired to sell flowers. I really wanted to space out. I was questioning in my mind whether paying indemnity was really necessary or whether we could go straight to the source. Even though I knew the answer, I had doubts that I would by strong enough. I had even begun praying about it the night before, and almost from the time we got up the answer began to come.
Mitch, first of all, talked a little about how he had trouble when he first came to the Family, and I know that everyone fights it out, but meeting people like Steven, who are such open and loving people yet chose to live their own lives outside the Family, really makes me think. But then I have to go beyond myself and remember that to quit now or anytime would be pointless and selfish and that HF really needs people who can be strong. It's not like it's going to be forever, but the harder we work now the better it will be for us when the heavenly kingdom is here.
Actually, I came to realize over this weekend that the heavenly kingdom is really a state of heart and that externally things may not look so different. On the other hand, who am I to say that things won't look different?
I really enjoyed taking it easy today, waiting for HF to sort of prove himself to me. It came to light on the very last bar of my very last run at a place called Wimbledon in Sausalito. Straight away I got sent out, but first I sold four roses to one of the bouncers, a guy named Jeffrey. I knew I had to get upstairs to the bar somehow.
As I walked outside, Rich showed up from Zack's next door. He hid his bundle under his coat and got in. I went around back and went up the rear steps, but the door was locked. So I crawled through a window into this really crowded room. Jeffrey was right there. It was like he was waiting for me. He threatened to have me arrested for breaking and entering.
But HF was with me and I stayed centered and calm and was able to convince him of my sincerity, and simultaneously sell a half-dozen to the cook. Rich was still upstairs selling flowers. I also sold a few more in the parking lot before Mitch came by and took us into Mill Valley for ice cream at Old Uncle Gaylord's.
I remember something that Steven said when I told him how much I wanted to meet Onni. He said greet each brother and sister with that same desire and when I did finally meet her, I would be prepared.
(Total for weekend: $125.51)