1976.6.11
Today Shirley and I took the bus to Conway. It was okay, but I could have done better. I only sold about $140 in product, but I had over $50 in change. This must be Arkansas.
I have been thinking about Washington Monument. It is maybe three months away. Three months is really no time at all. I feel completely different than I did about Yankee Stadium. Father warned us so many times about the seriousness of Yankee Stadium, but I know I was not serious. I did not feel responsible for its success or failure. Now I think about Washington Monument and the task before us and it is almost impossible to comprehend. There will be no miracles like I and so many others were expecting at Yankee Stadium. Victory will only come through our blood, sweat and tears.
I pray that it is not too late for America. In just ten years America has lost almost all respect and dignity that it ever had, defiled by her own children, me not least of all. I was explaining to a couple of people today that the present situation in America is a warning from God. If America does not humble herself and repent, she will surely die. The signs are all around us. If I fail this time, if we fail to bring victory to Washington Monument, then this country will perish within a year.
Satan's rule will never again be established on this Earth because of the advent of True Parents and blessed couples, but the rest of the fallen world will be destroyed. I am sure I will die along with the rest, and this journal, if it survives, will only be a testament of a martyred saint who gave his life to God. But it may already be too late.
Of course, I pray that I can change now and really take full responsibility where before I failed. I find I must ask what is responsibility? The ability to respond. Respond to what? To God. Since I am sinful and fallen far from God and don't know God, how can I respond to God? Only through True Parents as God's representatives can we come back to Him. So to take responsibility, I need True Parents, but to get True Parents, I must take responsibility.
It's the Catch-22 of Divine Principle.
HF has given us MFT as the tool to overcome fallen nature. I must learn to master this tool until I can make $500 a day. If I can raise my average $100 a month, this goal will be realized by Washington Monument.