1975.10.23
Some of my best days have been days when I totally doubted my own capabilities but totally believed in God's. Today was such a day, for I woke up feeling very achy with my cold and really felt like going back to bed. But I know that it certainly wouldn't be "whole purpose" to stay in bed, so I sort of meditated about it when I woke up and all I could visualize was selling flowers. So I knew that that was what I was to do.
Next, I thought I would go back to bed until noon or so and go flower-selling in the afternoon, but that didn't really seem whole purpose even though I tried to justify it by telling myself that my body needed the rest. Anyway, I said a little prayer about what I should do, and sure enough, during David's prayer at Bible reading he said, "... and please help us overcome our sicknesses and illnesses so that we can serve You." I knew that that was meant for me as much as I didn't want to hear it.
After breakfast I did up some Actifed and vitamin C and tea and orange juice and determined that I was going to fight it out. I felt better right away.
Poppy gave us a reading by Father called "Challenge and Victory" from New Hope, and almost all of the older brothers and sisters had a hard time staying awake.
David also announced that Father was coming next week. It's impossible to describe how I felt. It was like I couldn't believe what my ears had just heard. Still I try not to get my hopes up because there are too many things that could happen to change those plans, like the visits from Onni which never happen, at least not when I'm around.
But I was inspired, to say the least, and got paired up with Peter to witness. This morning James game me some practical advice to improve our witnessing. He said the first thing we should do is make a schedule of where we were going and when we would be there and then pray for HF to bring prepared people to those places. James says whenever he does this, he knows that wherever he goes, HF has brought at least one prepared person to that spot for him to witness to. He just has to talk to them and they will respond, if he is centered.
We actualized this advice and it seemed to work. First we went to Foster's coffee shop to write up a schedule for the morning. When we walked in there was a big sign that said grand opening, so Peter and I were inspired to use that as an invitation to dinner -- a grand opening of the heart. Next we looked around for the person that HF had sent there for us to meet, and we saw three likely candidates.
The closest one was reading a newspaper and my eye caught one of the headlines, which was that Arnold Toynbee had died, and remembering Dr. D's reference to him in his lecture, we figured this was the guy. He turned out to be a very high standard lawyer who works on Union Street, a few blocks from the house. He was somewhat interested.
After he left another gentleman took his place, who was equally high standard and was also interested in education. He was also very open.
Then Peter and I ran down to the bank, and while Peter was cashing his traveler's check, I witnessed to a guy named Barry Blander, who was a filmmaker from Boston. Next we went over to the new California College of Law and witnessed to the dean of admissions, Gail Gifford. She was just interesting.
At lunch time I managed to round up a pretty good guy named Bill. I went flower selling after lunch and did two runs, $24 and $34, respectively. The very last sale of the day was also the most spiritual. It was 5 o'clock, so I sat down on some steps on Bryant Street to wait for Mitch. I realized that I really had a few free minutes to myself, so I thought the time could be best used if I prayed. So I prayed for HF to send someone to buy all my roses.
A few minutes later, an old man walked by, but he wasn't interested. After that, a younger man approached me from the opposite direction, so I started praying and chanting for him to be the one. But he too went right on by. Suddenly the old man was there again in his car and he said he had changed his mind, but he only wanted $2 worth of roses. I told him he could have a whole bunch for $5, but he said he didn't want to spend $5 -- but as I began to count out a half dozen, he said he'd take the bunch for $5.
I was so happy. I knew it had been because of the prayer.
Straight away after that I spotted Sarah across the street and we got together and then Mitch showed up. We drove around for a long time, looking for Peter, and sang a lot of songs. Finally we went home without Peter. When we got to the house I found out that I had two guests, Bill and Barry. Bill and his roommate left early, but Barry stayed and at refreshment time he asked me if we were the Unification Church, and of course I had to say yes. We discussed that for a little while.
Fortunately he wasn't negative about it. He was into TM under Mahareshi Mahesh Yogi, so he doesn't feel he is ready for a trip to Boonville yet and instead is going to LA.
Found out tonight as I was writing this that Big Jim has moved out of the Family. I couldn't help but overhear Grace and Richard talk about it behind me in David's office, and I was so surprised I couldn't help but turn around, and though it's not whole purpose to discuss these kinds of things, I really wanted to know, because I was with Big Jim my first two weeks on the land, so I feel very close to him spiritually.
Talking to David just now I have found out that Big Jim is Onni's spiritual child and that he has moved out about ten times since he's been in the Family. David said he has personally gone to get him three or four times and that it's a shame because Big Jim has a lot of indemnity to pay each time, but that he will be back.
Richard said earlier that the fight-it-outs become different after one has been in the Family a long time. We shall see.