In Jin Moon
1. In Jin Nim began be greeting everyone
2. Good morning brothers and sisters. It's so good to see everybody. Did everybody survive the Thanksgiving feast, the turkey and stuffing and gravy and all the desserts? I had a lovely Thanksgiving at the (Lovin Life) Learning Center (43rd St) together with GPA (Generation Peace Academy). The whole Gavin family was busy in the kitchen preparing a delicious feast for all of us. I thoroughly enjoyed not having to work in the kitchen. For the first time I realized what it feels like to be a child again. I felt so well taken care of by the Gavins and all those who volunteered to help in the kitchen. It was such an incredible time for me because I got to spend some time with our kids.
3. They (GPA) have been quite busy the last couple of months preparing for our True Parents birthday celebration. It will be a huge birthday celebration, a couple of months from now in Korea. Our True Parents invited all the different countries of the world to send in a video of their best choir. Father and Mother would like to preside over what initially started out as a choir competition, which has now been expanded to include plays and different types of music and dance. It's going to be an artistic competition in Korea.
4. I had the great fortune of working with the Blessed Children in Japan for over a decade with the Youth Concerts for World Peace. When I first went to Japan many many years ago I really wanted to support the importance of art and the children's education. Because, whenever you endeavor to be the best artist there are certain things that come into play. You have to understand the meaning of late gratification, how to set both short and long-term goals, and to really commit yourself to discipline and to the process to become that great artists, to accomplish those short and long-term goals.
5. When we first started in Japan we didn't have a great deal of financial resources to invest in the second generation of Japan. But, when I looked at these beautiful kids, they already had the gift within. God gave them wonderful vocal cords that, with the right kind of discipline and encouragement, could become phenomenal singers in a beautiful choir. So, for the course of more than 12 years, Japan has really grown beautiful choirs and every year at the youth concert hundreds of choirs from all around Japan compete to be able to perform at the Youth Concert.
6. By the ninth or 10th year these kids became so good and so well versed in their choirs, the embassy row in Japan began to take note. So, even though Japan is still a country that refuses our True Father an entrance visa, they could not ignore the beauty of our second generation blessed children choirs. And so they began to be invited to the embassy row and performed for different ambassadors, dignitaries, and VIPs coming to Japan.
7. We realized that in this beautiful choir we had great ambassadors for peace. They became the face of our movement. They became the face of our True Parents. They became our face to the people of Japan and to all the dignitaries that were invited and had the honor to be entertained by these angelic voices.
8. And then they went on to do greater works by really practicing living for the sake of others by not just entertaining the dignitaries, but really thanking the ancestors of Japan – the Elders of Japan by bringing a little bit of heaven to people who were in old folks homes waiting to die. When these beautiful faces, 10, 11, and 12-year-old kids, come and really took all day long to spend time with the elderly – playing games with them, making origami with them, touching them, holding them and hugging them, and performing for them. All these people just waiting to die feel like God has sent them a little piece of heaven and God has sent them a vision of how beautiful their country of Japan can be. They can see the beauty of the future of Japan in these children.
9. It has always been my dream, we cannot just do this in Japan, but really all over the world. And so this international competition really gives us, the American movement, the opportunity to partake of this. And so, when I first started with the thought of creating Lovin' Life Ministries – I brought Brian Saunders over to build up our choir. I hoped that he could really create a choir like these mothers and professional woman have done with the BCs (Blessed Children) in Japan. But with the difficulty of running the Ministry and every artist has their own angst and issues and childhood tribulations – I felt remiss in thinking that, "you know we are well on our way to becoming a great ministry, but gee, I wish we had a great choir." And then this notice came from Korea calling for an international competition.
10. I remember watching a video long time ago that I showed to the Japanese Blessed children about how incredible the American Blessed children were. This was a video of a Blessed children's choir from Seattle. I always had this choir in mind, and it was this image of these beautiful American Blessed children – that really inspired the Japanese children to try their best, because they wanted to be the best representatives of their country.
11. And so I thought, "wow, for this choir competition, instead of bringing together all the adults, wouldn't it be wonderful if we could expand the idea of the choir that existed in Seattle, but really bring it home – and turn GPA into the home of the future Unification Church Tabernacle Choir?" You know the Mormon Church has their Mormon Tabernacle Choir that is the envy of the world. And whether you agree with their faith or not you cannot help but admit that their choir is incredible – awe-inspiring. So, how wonderful if we could do the same at the GPA where the kids have an opportunity to figure out who they are, really come to own their identities, to own their destinies, and to really decide to do something with their life – and while they are here really go through the process of growing through the difficulty of preparing for their future life in college or as a young adult, so that they can do incredible things.
12. So when I explored a little bit further who this woman was, I found out that she is Mitsiru's mother, the lovely lady that you see every Sunday playing the viola. She came over and started working with the kids. When she first worked with the kids she said, "This is going to be really difficult. I play them a note. I ask them to sing it back to me, and I get three or four different notes." She realized that she had a great deal of work to do, but with the heart of a mother, with a heart really investing in the future, really wanting to make our children shine – she together with Mitsiru, a mother-daughter team, did a phenomenal job. When they gave me a taste of what people can expect in Korea, I was totally floored. I was so amazed. I want to give the GPA a round of applause for a great work and I am hoping, with continued effort over the next couple months, with continued effort we will be able to bring the grand prize home as the winner of the competition.
13. Although I spent 12 years with the kids in Japan, I am somewhat biased right now. It'll be wonderful to see our American second generation bring the trophy back home. But I reminded them at the Thanksgiving feast, they have some really stiff competition. They (Japanese) beat the little angels. Not only that, but they have the "cute factor" going for them. GPA are 17, 18, 19, and 20. These kids are 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9. So, they are incredibly cute. Just by the cute factor alone they can win any prize, but then on top of that, they sing like angels. And the amount of investment they put into each song – their whole body sings. When you see their faces, not just their eyes, but their mouth, and their tongue, and their cheeks, everything sings. As a member of the audience you can't sit there without being amazed and moved and inspired. So, GPA, you have stiff competition ahead of you, so keep on practicing.
14. I was sharing with them, here we are celebrating Thanksgiving. It's that time of Thanksgiving turkey and great desserts – time to let your waistband go a couple inches. And we have Christmas and New Year's and all of the celebration around the corner. But we also know the holiday season is a time when emotions run incredibly high. It tends to bring out the best in the family and the worst in the family. So, anybody who enjoys going to Loew's theater for movie entertainment, I am sure you are well aware of all the Christmas movies about family and about how a protagonist might not be too keen on seeing particular relatives or family members – and the angst that one goes through just to prepare one's self to get to that family event – or the different kind of issues that were not resolved and the different kind of conflicts that have been in that family for many many years, is something that many of us do not look forward to.
15. I know a lot of people, and I'm sure many many people in New York City feel the same way when they think about Christmas holidays or the holiday season in general. For a lot of young people this is a very difficult time because it's the end of the year, the New Year is around the corner, they want a sense of closure, they want a sense of feeling of achievement, but if their year has not been a good one for them, they can easily get lost in the feeling of being ignored or neglected or feeling worthless, or in the words of some of the youngsters I've worked with, feeling like an invisible tree.
16. Many of them suffer with a great deal of depression and they don't know who to go to, who to talk to. They don't know how to seek help. Many times the family just does not know what to do with young people who are going through or are in the throes of dealing with depression. I'm sure the American movement is well aware of the tragedy that took place with a family in New Hampshire where a young man decided to take his own life.
17. When you look at young people, the history or the background of why they decided to take their own life, you realize it is not an isolated event. It is not a one-time impulse that turned into somebody losing their life. You realize that there is a whole history behind the person, the disturbed person who takes their own life. And you realize that many many times the signs, the warning signs, appear very early on.
18. When we are talking about teenage suicide and teenage death, many times the warning signs can be seen as young as 10, 11, or 12. In particular 12. And we realize that in a religious community like ours, where we really believe and really want to accomplish a healthy and a beautiful world, building ideal families – we realize that it is first and foremost a great responsibility and burden to take upon.
19. And many of us, myself included, simply did not feel ready to be parents, in that nobody gave me a manual on how to be a parent. Nobody gave me a manual or sent me to a workshop that taught me how to deal with all the issues that might arise in raising a child or in raising a family or dealing with the issues that arise in a family. All of us, we try our best with what we have, not realizing that we haven't really been given the full set of tools to really deal with all the issues.
20. And, when a tragedy happens like this, the interesting thing about the end of the year – our True Parents have always stressed the importance of the last three months of the year –is the time when things come to a close in preparation for the new spring, or the New Year, or the new heavenly fortune that awaits. And so it's time to take stock, to be introspective, to be respectable of the year that has passed in preparation for the year that is to come.
21. But this last three months tends to be the most precarious in that so many things are taking place, so many emotions are running high. And again, the holiday season brings out the best in families and the worst in families. Many of us would like a perfect family, perfect in the way we understand what perfection means. And everybody understands perfection in their own unique way. But when a young person feels trapped in a family that he or she feels is not perfect, or he or she feels they do not belong to, or he or she feels neglected by, then the child feels totally lost. And when the child does not have a strong inner core or a relationship with Heavenly Father or with our True Parents or with the church community, the child can so easily lose hope.
22. I think we as parents, first and foremost, our prayers and thoughts and well wishes go to the family that has lost their loved one. But, we realize that we as parents many times find ourselves in this situation that is tragic – and we don't know what to do. We don't know how to deal with what just took place. We don't know how to rid ourselves of the blame that we put upon ourselves. We don't know how to concentrate on the future, maybe on the rest of the family that exists, that needs to be taken care of, how to deal with our lives in the context of a larger community called our movement. Sometimes these questions are incredibly difficult for families hit with a tragic event like this.
23. When we realize that we as parents, we as children, we as brothers and sisters of this movement, have been hit with a tragedy – you know whenever somebody faces a tragedy there is this immediate desire to blame someone. To blame something. "This took place because this person was to blame, or that person was to blame, or their ancestors were to blame, or the parents themselves neglected a lot of the warning signs and they are to blame." And I know that parents in this situation go through a series of these, what I call the blaming game.
24. And many parents, first and foremost, they blame themselves. "What could I have done? My child is rebellious. My child is addicted. My child is sick." And they immediately blame themselves thinking that for some reason everything that the child does is somehow their responsibility.
25. But we as a community need to understand that it's wonderful for the parent to start the grieving process by looking in and wanting to take the blame onto their shoulders, but when you look at a young person's life – and this is a 20 year old adults – you realize that the child also has responsibility that was not met. And, yes there could be a myriad of other reasons why something like this took place, but it's not just the parents' problem.
26. And I think many times in this situation, parents or different family members immediately look towards the generational family to blame. For instance, "my father and mother were alcoholics and therefore I'm an alcoholic. My mother or her aunt tried to attempt suicide and therefore I will attempt to commit suicide." We've seen this all throughout history. When Adam and Eve were caught by God and God asked them, "why are you hiding?" It was another example of each blaming the other. Adam blaming Eve, Eve blaming the serpent, and even their children, Cain and Abel. Cain blaming Abel for being the favorite one, and Cain blaming Abel as to why his sacrifice was not accepted by God.
27. We realize that this thing called the blame is an incredibly dangerous and a difficult thing to overcome. And when we look at families that are kind of stuck in blaming the generations, or their ancestors, or their family, we realize that this is the kind of a family that cannot look forward in life. Many times life, when we are going or driving down the path of life, it is almost like driving a car in that we have to be cognizant of where we are going. We have to be looking forward to where we are going, to our goal, to our destination. But at the same time we have to be aware of the side mirrors that tell us where we are in the course of our lives. We have to know where we are and who we are. But also when you are journeying you have the rear view mirror that allows you to look back from time to time so that you can gauge the distance of your vehicle vis-à-vis the other vehicles that are coming your way. And so by monitoring where you are going, looking forward, assessing the side mirrors, knowing where you are in your life, and by looking at the rear view mirrors from time to time, then we can kind of gather an idea of where we are on the highway and proceed down the road.
28. But when we are stuck in this blaming game, many times blaming ourselves, many times blaming the ancestors or family relatives or the things that have gone before, it is all like driving down the highway going backwards, staring at the rearview mirror. If you continue driving looking at the rearview mirror, 70 or 80 miles an hour, first of all it is a very dangerous thing to do. Sooner or later you might get into an accident. In other words, when we are stuck on the past, not realizing or not keeping focus on where we are going, what our future is, what our destiny is, in light of the tragic circumstances that just took place, it's like driving down the highway only looking at the rearview mirror – in that we are stuck to our past, we cannot move away from our past to really see the glorious future ahead, to see that, "yes every tragedy that takes place in our lives is incredibly painful and difficult, but if we can learn from it, and if we can gain insights from it, if we can gain a certain level of wisdom, then we can become a stronger person that prepares us for the future and for the destiny that we are here to accomplish in our lifetime."
29. When you look at many families stuck in this blaming game, we realize that some of us are stuck in this idea of being a martyr in that, being a martyr is a very unhealthy – taking responsibility for others – that is really a detriment to your own well-being. In other words, somebody who is suffering from this martyr complex might be telling themselves, "Poor me. My poor life. Why was I born in this family? Why was I born so destitute with no prospects for the future?" Many African-Americans might have felt like this before the civil rights movement. "Why was I born black?"
30. We realize that when we decide to take responsibility for ourselves, instead of just seeing ourselves as just a prisoner of our fate or of that present circumstance, we realize that we can do incredible things. When an African-American decides and realizes, "I am no different than white Americans. God created me in His image and Her image just like my white brothers and sisters. I have the right to live my life as a dignified and divine being and I have the right to not blame my misfortune on my race or the history, but I have the right to look towards the future and my glorious destiny and to pull myself from the bootstraps and become that great person or that agent of change." It is this kind of thinking that allows a black man like Pres. Obama to sit in the White House.
31. It's not being resigned to our fate or our particular situation, but in understanding that we can still be that agent of change – that, instead of waiting for God to send this miraculous cure for all our ills and problems, God gave us the spirit within. In fact God resides in the very spirit that is within as it says in First Corinthians 3:16. Paul was talking to his Corinthians, saying, "do you not know that you yourself are God's temple? Do you not know that you are God's temple? That God's spirit lives, resides, and dwells in you?"
32. In a way we are not a product of a circumstance that we find ourselves in. Because, we realize that regardless of where we are born, what tragedies we find ourselves faced with, what difficulties are in our path, we realize that the Spirit of God resides within. And that, with God, if we truly believe that we are God's temple, then we almost have a duty and responsibility to live that holy life, to live that grateful life, and instead of feeling sorry for ourselves, thinking "poor poor pitiful me" or thinking if only my parents were this way, if only my friends were this way, if only my brothers and sisters were this way, if only my grandparents were this way – we realize that instead of blaming others for our misfortune, that because God lives within, we have the responsibility to live for the sake of others in that we can support, we can encourage, and we can inspire, by really tapping in to the divinity that is within us.
33. I always remind the people that I find stuck in this martyr complex, blaming everybody else for their misfortune, I say "if we are a true martyr, it doesn't matter how much we are suffering, or how much we are dying, or how much we are persevering, if we are a true martyr we would not be blaming others. We would continue to pray for others. We would continue to wish well-being of others. We would continue to want to empower others – while we are suffering, while we are dying."
34. When I was counseling this one couple – a young couple, the wife was suffering from what I call this martyr complex, this blaming complex. "I am miserable because you make me miserable (talking to the spouse). You are the reason I am unhappy. You're the reason why I'm miserable. You are the reason why I see no value in my life."
35. This young lady vocally articulated so much negativity of blaming, constantly blaming, a constant replay of why I am unhappy. "If only you were like this, and because you are not, you make me miserable." In a way she made her happiness contingent on somebody else's actions. In a way she was basically saying, "I am an independent woman. I want to do my own thing." But she made herself a prisoner in that relationship by making everything dependent on what the other was doing.
36. The sister kept on constantly blaming, and almost to the point where the last two years of their relationship she was basically saying, "Get out of my life. You're the reason why I'm miserable. If you're gone then I'll be happy. Get out of my life. I want a divorce." In the last two remaining years of their relationship she pushed, pushed the husband to get a divorce. But then when the husband could not take it anymore, because she was locking him out of the house, she was saying horrible things – blaming him for all the problems to all her friends and the community and so on – so much so that this man couldn't take it anymore – and so he said, "fine, you want a divorce I will give it to. You want a divorce and I will give it to." Then she turned around and said, "How dare you! How dare you divorce me!" He said, "Excuse me?" And she said, "How dare you break the blessing! What kind of a member, an Unificationist are you?" All of these things came out. And the husband said, "You were the one asking me for a divorce." And she said. "How dare you! You come back here right now!"
37. But by then she had pushed the husband so much – she pulled a knife on him, threw dishes at him – this man had battle wounds. He could not see the hope of continuing. He felt that this woman needs to work on herself before any kind of a future can be had by both of them. She really needed to focus on not blaming everybody for her martyrdom complex, but really focusing in on herself, and realize that being on constant replay button as a tape recorder, as to why she is unhappy, she is actually becoming her own self-fulfilling prophecy, in that she was creating her own unhappiness by her inability to see – that by blaming, constantly blaming the other for all of her problems, that she was actually losing the very thing that she wanted so much.
38. I see this happen over and over and over again. And when the husband finally decided to leave then she decided, "You should have no right to my children." She said that they were "my children." Brothers and sisters, when you have kids they are not your children. They came about because of God, because of True Parents, because of the husband and the wife. There was a sperm and an egg at play here. Regardless of how difficult a marriage situation is, you cannot divorce your husband out of your children's life. A child came to exist because of the father and mother and regardless of what you're going through with your spouse you have to give each other the dignity to maintain that relationship with the child as a father and a mother. With the exception of extreme situations where incest is involved. Then we have to take other measures. But provided the father was not sexually abusing the children and was trying his best to be a father, the wife has no right to divorce the husband just because he pisses her off. In other words, regardless of how upset we might be in our own individual claims as to why we think we have the right to blame other people, we have to recognize things like children, wonderful precious presents from God. Children did not come into being just through us. It usually requires a man and a woman, a father and a mother. Therefore a child needs to be raised together by a father and a mother, regardless of what the spouses are going through, whether it's a divorce or separation or going through the process of working things out – the child needs access to both father and mother.
39. Because if you don't, and if the wife continues in this manner, she is actually going to end up ruining her own future relationship with her children. Her children are now young so she can pretty much tell them whatever she wants. She can tell them father's evil, he is awful, he broke the Blessing – without telling the child that she is the one who drove him to break the Blessing. And the mother might feel that she is in total control, but if she keeps this up the children will grow up and they will start asking where's my father, why is my father not here. And they will start seeking out their father and actually end up resenting the mother for keeping them away from their father. So at the end of the day the blaming game does not work. Because at the end of the day she is not only going to be the one losing her husband but she is going to be a very lonely woman losing her kids. When I see this incidence take place over and over and over again, I realized how incredibly detrimental and how much of a difficulty it is for families to deal with this thing called "The Blame"
40. I think a lot of parents in this situation, some of them take blame for themselves, take responsibility for themselves. Some parents refuse to take any responsibility for themselves. But many times in regards to the relationship between parent and child that child blames the parents for everything. Just as, it's never the right thing to say it's all one person's fault, likewise in a parent-child relationship it's never just all the parents fault, or its never all the child's fault. It's usually a blend of two things.
41. I know a child that came up to me and said, "I cannot stand my parents. I cannot stand them. They are evil. They are awful. I cannot talk to my father. I cannot talk to my mother. They are just horrible parents." But when you look behind the situation and look at the background you realize, perhaps the father was very very strict, because the child was going through the throes of addiction. The child was partying, taking drugs and alcohol, the child was not in school, the child was not being respectful.
42. So we realize that when you look at a situation in a family there are many many different reasons and many many different people at play that makes it very very difficult to say, "that person is to blame, or this person is to blame." Usually it's the combination of a lot of things.
43. And we realize that when a family is engulfed in this kind of turmoil we realize it didn't happen overnight. The family got their by practicing certain things. And the reason why I bring up the issue of blame is that, when you meet somebody who blames quite a bit or gossips quite a bit, you realize that it takes a lot of practice. Just like the sister who was on constant replay – of all her reasons why she was unhappy, you realize that she got there by practicing every day, to any willing ear, as to why she is unhappy. By blaming others she is teaching herself the reasons why she feels she has the right to be unhappy. In a sense, blaming people and gossiping about that person, takes a great deal of time and a great deal of practice.
44. When you meet a family member or a brother or a sister who tends to blame or assign blame outwardly to everything else except themselves, then you realize that this person has a long history of this constant replay. They have a long history of being this way. And they have a long history of being negative. And that is why it is incredibly difficult to see anything positive or anything rewarding about life.
45. One of the things that I used to always tell myself – I used to write this down in my diary – when I was growing up and I was living with my younger sister, she was a very difficult younger sister to live with. She was incredibly clean and incredibly tidy. And, even though we shared a room there was this invisible demarcation. "This is my bed, this is my part of the carpet, your footprint will not pass." If my footprints landed on her side of the room I would have to vacuum it right away.
46. And so I realize that many times she got me really really upset and I wanted to blame her right back. I wanted to say, "I cannot live a natural existence. I like my room tidy, but not sterile." I could not live a natural existence with a sister like that. I felt like I was living with an alcohol rub (you know, rubbing alcohol). Any piece of dust any piece of dirt was just wiped away. It was almost as if I did not exist in that room. I went through a period where I was incredibly upset and I really wanted to blame her, I wanted to get angry at her.
47. But then I realized, the more I did that, the angrier I got. And the more I blamed her in my head, the more negative I got. And I realized that the more I blamed, I was habitually teaching my brain to think negatively. By blaming others I was teaching myself to think negatively to a point where I could not be grateful for my life, I could not see any thanksgiving in my life. I found myself incredibly depressed.
48. Usually what I do when I'm faced with a difficult obstacle is I like to write. One of the things I wrote down for myself, that seemed to help me in this process of desiring to overcome this impulse to blame others – was I wrote this little sentence. I said, "blaming others leaves you perpetually lame." It leaves you, or me, or anybody, perpetually lame – in that you feel like you are handicapped. You cannot do anything but continue to blame, continued to be negative, continued to not see hope or meaning in your life. So blaming others leaves you perpetually lame.
49. You realize that only when you can really discover or uncover the inner flame within, with the courage to change – so instead of blaming others that keeps you lame, if we can uncover the inner flame, meaning the divinity within, with the courage to change, not change others, but with the courage to change yourself, that's the way you keep yourself ahead of the game. Ahead of the game, meaning all the things that life puts in front of you, all the trials and tribulations or the tricks that life might play upon you. That only by uncovering your inner flame, with the courage to change, meaning change yourself, will you stay ahead of the game – meaning all the things that life puts in front of you.
50. And that reminded me of the Bible verse where Paul said, "God resides, he dwells and he lives within you." So when I was confronted with this incredible desire to blame others, I asked myself, "how can I get myself out of this rut? How can I get myself to a point where I start looking towards the road I'm driving down and not be stuck in their rearview mirror, always stuck to my past, always stuck to what has gone on, always stuck in the reasons why I should be miserable.
51. Or, many blessed children, I think, going through adolescence, they want to do a lot of different things, but they might say to themselves, "my older brother and sister are doing it, so I should do it." Of "They are making my life miserable and therefore I will be miserable." In a way they are attributing their desire to do something on others and therefore feeling fine about doing it. In other words they're making excuse for what they are going to do by blaming others.
52. And I realized that I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to be a rebellious daughter just because my life was a public life, or I was born to a public family, or I had parents who were always living life serving the world. There are many many reasons as to why somebody in the True Family might want to blame everybody else, other than ourselves. But, I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to be a martyr. I didn't want to be blaming my parents. I didn't want to be blaming my ancestors or my relatives. I didn't want to be blaming the church. So, if I find myself in this difficult situation, regardless of what has gone in my life, "how can I make it better?" That is what I was asking myself.
53. And several things came to mind. I realize that when you come to a place where you've decided to make that change, to stop blaming others, take control of your life by really tapping into that inner flame, because as our True Parents said to us many times, "human beings are like a light bulb, this glorious light bulb that is lighting this room." But, if it's not connected to God or the spirit of God or the power of true love, you are not going to get this brilliant light that casts upon all of us in this room. Likewise if we are not tapped into God, if were not connected to God, regardless of how beautiful, how ornate a light bulb we might be, we'll never be able to emanate or cast that brilliant light upon the world that we were meant to do.
54. And so I realize that one of the first and foremost important things is to go back to the core, go back to the reason as to why I am here. Regardless of what I am going through in life, I realize the most important thing to keep in mind is, if you want to change your life from this stage of blaming everybody – to really being a grateful person, being a proactive person, being that agent of change that is going to make your life better, in a way, reveal your life to the glorious destiny that waits for you – you have to do a couple of things.
55. The first thing you have to do is you have to have a clear vision of what you want. You may find yourself in an un-ideal family, situation, or relationship. But in order to change, or get yourself from that relationship or from that rut of a family that you are in, we have to have a vision of what family we want to create, what kind of a family we want to build. In other words, we have to understand ourselves in a relationship with God. We have to understand why we are here. That God is our Heavenly Parent. That God created us, not to just suffer and wither away and persevere and die, but He really wanted us to be that brilliant light bulb casting that glorious light unto the world. And so we realize that when God created you and me, His eternal sons and daughters as divine creatures, that He had a vision for all of us. He had a vision of the kind of life that he would like all of us to enjoy and to feel fulfilled in.
56. And then we realize that when you have an understanding of what kind of a family, or you have a clear conception or a vision or a mission statement of what you want in your life – then we realize that the next step is to come up with a course of action or a plan. We have to have a clear plan in being able to identify what we do not want in our lives and what we do want.
57. So instead of blaming others, petrifying ourselves into a miserable state, we start looking at our individual circumstances and we say, "Okay this is a tough situation. These are the things I'd like to get rid of, but these are the things I would like to work on, and these are the things that I would like to see in my relationship or in my family." So you have a set plan by identifying what you don't want and what you want.
58. Then there has to be a sense or a commitment to be responsible, in that we are going to be responsible for the change in our life. We are going to be the agent of change, regardless of how difficult or how unbearable our situation is. If we have the vision, and we have the plan, and we are committed to being responsible – meaning, carrying out that plan diligently and with commitment, then we will be able to see the fruits of our labors.
59. And we realize that, when we say we are going to be responsible it means that, just like the way of blaming others and gossiping about others takes a lot of practice and lots of hours over coffee – you realize that living a proactive and a positive life where we can be the determinant of our own destinies, we realize that being responsible means, also practicing this every day. So, by being responsible we are agreeing to daily practicing. And many times the greatest form of practice is through prayer, by daily reminding ourselves why we are doing what we are doing, because we are committed to accomplishing the vision that we have set for ourselves. We have a plan of action. We know exactly what we don't want and exactly what we do want, we know what we need to do to get there – and by deciding to be responsible and committed to this process by practicing. So just as a practice blaming others and therefore creating this negative attitude towards life, what we need to do proactively is to practice thanksgiving and practice being grateful so that we can concentrate and practice on a daily basis – all the reasons why we need to be grateful and we need to be inspired.
60. This is the reason why, young men and woman of our movement, we need our parents. There was a black-and-white movie many years ago about the Lost Boys. It was basically a movie about a bunch of boys that were stranded on a mountaintop. You saw what life would be like without parents in these young boy's lives. And you realize that without a parental figure, without someone like the coach guiding them and supervising them, that these kids basically degenerated into what (Hobbs?) would call a savage like existence. They became savages in their desires. They wanted to kill each other. They wanted to destroy each other. And when you see movies like that you realize the importance of having a parental figure in our lives.
61. The thing about America is that it is such a great superpower. It is so great when it comes to its constitution, the checks and balances. It guarantees freedom and equal rights to all men and women. But if we do not understand the importance of having a centered vertical relationship with a parental figure like God, then we realize that even a great country like America can so easily degenerate into a country of amoral living and a life of not really knowing what the purpose, what your purpose is.
62. But if we can really be united with our parental figure, and that is really the reason why we need our True Parents in our lives. Because as great as we might be as children, we always need our father and mother.
63. And so I think a lot of the young men and woman feel, they know what needs to be done, they know the providence, they know what needs to take place, and only they can provide the solution for the future. But, without an understanding or a holistic picture of why we are here in the first place, regardless of how great we are as men and women, if we cannot acknowledge God in our lives, if we cannot acknowledge the importance of having a living paradigm of true love, like True Parents in our lives, we will never be fully expansive in our role as the great ambassadors for peace that we were all meant to be.
Sun Myung Moon and Hak Ja Han
64. In other words Heavenly Father and Mother gave us this living paradigm called True Parents in our lives, and as long as we can stay focused and united with them, and because they afford us such a great example of living for the sake of others – we knows they are not the kind of people that blame others for their misery. If anybody had a right to blame others for their misery I think my father and mother should have the first go at it. He has been imprisoned six times, thrown out for dead from a North Korean concentration camp, he was maligned, abused, and misunderstood for many many years. But this man never blames others. He takes responsibility for himself, and goes on to continue to lead a proactive life of wanting to empower and inspire and encourage his children to be the best that we can be.
65. And the same for our True Mother. The kind of suffering that this woman had to bear is unbelievable. Many many unspoken sufferings. Many many countless reams of toilet paper and Kleenex boxes that have fallen by the wayside through her tears. This woman is a woman who understands and knows suffering. But she never blames others. She never blames the past. She always encourages her children to look towards the future, to look towards the destiny that awaits them.
66. In a way, our True Mother has always encouraged the children. "You know, you guys did not grow up in the best environment in the early days of the church, but don't let the past hold you down. Look towards the future, the future that you can play a part in making." And so she always helped us look forward, being cognizant of the side view mirror, every now and then looking through our rearview mirror to remind ourselves of what has gone on, to learn from the mistakes of the past, and not be stuck in being resentful or being angry at the past, but learning from it, gaining wisdom from it, so we can really create our own power to propel us forward into that glorious destiny that belongs to you and me, to all of us as God's children.
67. So brothers and sisters in this time of great difficulty, not just the brother that passed away in New Hampshire, but we had another Blessed child, a 21-year-old, who took his own life. And again when you look at the family history you realize that there is a history, there are a whole lot of things that need to be worked out. Just recently in New Jersey we have a young girl attempting to take her own life because she was so severely bullied at her school. So when things like this take place, instead of blaming others, blaming the parents, blaming the teachers and friends or whoever, we need to take stock of where we are and where we are going to go.
68. And in this year for Lovin' Life Ministry, the banner in my mind is to really work on the ideal family, in dealing with all the issues that arise in the context of the family – to really help our movement become that glorious generation of peace, a generation that is worthy of this next millennium. And we very much want to highlight some of the issues that take place in the family setting. It is so unfortunate to have to do just that in light of what took place. But this is really a great opportunity for us to come together as a community and say, "yes, we find ourselves hit with a tragic circumstance or event, but instead of being locked into it or petrified by it, how are we going to be proactive? How are we going to keep our focus on the future and continue to make things better for our youth, or community, and for our movement?"
69. In order to do that I cannot stress the importance of maintaining the spiritual heritage of our movement. I think when you look at these examples we realize that it's 10 or 15 years in the making. To be honest, for the past 20 years our church has done many many great works in the name of service for peace, in the name of living for the sake of others, but we failed to invest in our people. We failed to invest in our youth.
70. The biggest problem that I recognized when I was preparing to go to North Korea is that – at Pyongyang they have all these fabulous façades of glorious monuments to Kim Il Sung, glorious monuments to their communist regime, all these high-rises, some higher than buildings in South Korea, but there is nobody there. And all these condominiums that are not inhabited by any people. You realize it is all a show, everything is a show of the power and grandeur of the communist regime. But you realize that without love, without an understanding of God, there is no desire to recognize each and every human being as a divine son and a daughter of God.
71. And when an organization or a movement or a regime does not invest in the people, and does not encourage and inspire the people to want to be their best, sooner or later that organization, that movement, or that regime will collapse from within. You see that happening over and over again in former Iron Curtain countries. And if we continue to concentrate on the grandeur of all the work that we are doing providentially by having all these glorious festivals and celebrations, but do not concentrate on the spiritual heritage from which we come from or the church that our True Parents found, or the meaning of the sacrament of how incredible the Blessing is, that it's a gift unto the world, then we will start crumbling within.
72. And we see that even within our own movement. We see that for the last 20 years we've not had growth. In fact we've had negative growth. We realize that many of the second generation are lost and have gone their own ways. We realize that if we do not invest in the future by investing in the people, by taking care of the people, by practicing compassionate living day to day – if we do not do this we will collapse from within.
73. And that is why we need a ministry. That is why we need a united ministry to remind us of that unity with our Heavenly Parent and are True Parents. It has to be the core. Without the core you will not have the inspired people. And if you do not have the inspired people occupying the great grand monuments, like the way they have in Pyongyang, sooner or later that regime will collapse.
74. Likewise, a lot of people have criticized me, "why are you concentrating on the young people? Why are you concentrating on the ministry? It should not be a ministry, it should be a service project movement." Absolutely not! Because if we just concentrate on the external's, of how we look to the world but we are not addressing the issues that we deal with on a daily basis, then sooner or later we are going to be no different from North Korea.
75. And so we need God in our lives. We need True Parents in our lives. And we don't have to waste our time proving whether we are eternal sons and daughters of God or not. Whether we are on the right path, we're on the wrong path, sooner or later we'll get back on the right path. And so, instead of trying to make excuses as to why we are on the wrong path, we need to concentrate on being united with our True Parents and go forward as one family under God!
76. So brothers and sisters be a proud Unificationist, be proud of your spiritual heritage, be proud of your parents. True Parents or my parents, they are your parents, they are our True Parents. So let's be that worthy ambassador of peace by being that incredible son and a daughter of God, that eternal son and daughter of God that is truly an embodiment of internal excellence as well as external excellence.
77. So please have a wonderful Sunday and God bless.
Notes:
1 Corinthians, chapter 3
1: But I, brethren, could not address you as spiritual men, but as men of the flesh, as babes in Christ.
2: I fed you with milk, not solid food; for you were not ready for it; and even yet you are not ready,
3: for you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh, and behaving like ordinary men?
4: For when one says, "I belong to Paul," and another, "I belong to Apol'los," are you not merely men?
5: What then is Apol'los? What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each.
6: I planted, Apol'los watered, but God gave the growth.
7: So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.
8: He who plants and he who waters are equal, and each shall receive his wages according to his labor.
9: For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building.
10: According to the grace of God given to me, like a skilled master builder I laid a foundation, and another man is building upon it. Let each man take care how he builds upon it.
11: For no other foundation can any one lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.
12: Now if any one builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw --
13: each man's work will become manifest; for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done.
14: If the work which any man has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward.
15: If any man's work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.
16: Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you?
17: If any one destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and that temple you are.
18: Let no one deceive himself. If any one among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise.
19: For the wisdom of this world is folly with God. For it is written, "He catches the wise in their craftiness,"
20: and again, "The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile."
21: So let no one boast of men. For all things are yours,
22: whether Paul or Apol'los or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future, all are yours;
23: and you are Christ's; and Christ is God's.