Laura Reinig
April 16, 1988
Hyo Jin Nim prays after his talk on Parents' Day, April 16, 1988.
On Parents' Day, April 16, 1988, brothers and sisters in the Grand Ballroom had an unexpected and unforgettable encounter with Hyo Jin Nim's courageous, sacrificial heart. Instead of a traditional sermon, Hyo Jin Nim related many deep, personal experiences from his past. In a low voice filled with emotion, he conveyed to the members what he had gone through in his youth. He explained that in desperation to gain friends and to be accepted by his American schoolmates, who persecuted him for who he was, he faced great dilemmas in practicing the very strict Principle way of life of his parents. The painful road finally leading to his ultimate resolve to live True Parents lifestyle had been long.
At times with deep sighs or with tears streaming down his face, he appealed to us to understand that he was sharing this because he wanted to take full responsibility himself, realizing that Father had given him every opportunity to fulfill that responsibility but could not do it for him. "Father always loved me," he said, "but I didn't have enough of a foundation of substance to understand the essence of his heart." He said it was actually when he saw the innocent beauty of his own children that he fully understood the meaning and value of absolutely going the way of the Principle. To make up for his mistakes, he said, he is now totally determined to fight against Satan in this fallen world and to follow Father anywhere at the cost of his life, through whatever suffering path he has to go, especially so that his younger brothers and sisters and the blessed children won't have to go through what he went through.
Brothers and sisters listen to their elder brother speak from his heart.
The sheer guts it took to share his past and his honest feelings with us wrenched open the rusty gates of my heart and forced me to examine my own degree of repentance and commitment to True Parents' way. In shock I recognized my almost complete lack of understanding of the silent suffering of the True Children on so many levels. Somehow I had thought it was rather automatic that the True Children would follow True Parents. Because each word Hyo Jin Nim spoke was so sincere, I felt a bond of indescribable trust growing between him and myself; I'm sure all the brothers and sisters in the room did too. I was also struck by the deeply forgiving heart of True Parents. I ached to let Hyo Jin Nim know the love and gratitude I felt at that moment for every one of the True Family.
One thing Hyo Jin Nim said at the end was, "I just gave you everything... I did it because love has no boundaries." What an amazing statement! The True Children are living every minute for the sake of unity. We cannot yet fathom everything they are really longing to share with us or do for us.
Incredibly, just a few nights before, I had had a vivid dream about Hyo Jin Nim. In the dream he and I were at a summer camp. Hyo Jin Nim wore blue jeans and the two of us were buddies. In an idyllic setting of cabins and woods and campfires, we joked around with each other and cooked dinner over the open fire and laughed and talked about everything. It didn't seem unusual at all that I was his pal and trusted friend. When I woke up I knew that, although I might never have that experience in real life, we had already shared that time together, and the bond we had forged could never be taken away.
Then on Parents' Day itself I felt Hyo Jin Nim was letting me know that, no stranger to the thorny path himself, he would never keep his heart from me but hold firmly to his pledge of eternal commitment -- that he was my real brother.