Hoon Sook (Julia) Pak Moon
June 1, 2008
Summary of Hoon Sook Nim's Testimony
I got engaged to Heung Jin Nim in 1984 at East Garden together with In Jin Nim's couple, and was blessed at Belvedere. I still vividly remember the day as if it happened yesterday, but 24 years have already passed since I joined True Parents' family. I am now a middle-aged woman, approaching 50 years old. The position as a wife of the True Family is very important historically and providentially. If I had known it 24 years ago, I could not have come into the True Family thinking my insufficiency. At the time, the situation was difficult, and I received the blessing just with a heart of obedience to True Parents' will. I think how insufficient I was when True Parents saw me at the time. However, for 24 years, True Parents have loved and trusted me. I want to express my gratitude to them from the bottom of my heart. Heung Jin Nim has protected me visibly and invisibly. The True Family has been my warm fortress. Our members have offered prayer and sincere devotion for Heung Jin Nim's family. I express my gratitude to all of them.
Faith and Ballet
Summarizing my life, I can express my life with two words: faith and ballet. There is a proverb that ballets ask us continuous lessons such as faith. For me, both faith and ballet have been precious things, which cannot be separated from my life. I started to learn a ballet at the age of seven with my young sister when we lived in Washington DC, USA. It was a small ballet school in a church nearby. It has a big meaning for me that I started to learn ballet in a church.
Almost all ballerinas are ballerinas by nature. However, I was not. Even though I started to learn a ballet in my childhood as a hobby, I never thought that I would continue it in my life. If I had been able to live as I liked, I would have given up the way of the ballet. I could not but go the way of the ballet as my destiny regardless of my thinking. I became a ballerina because of faith rather than my wish, which is usual for other ballerinas. Therefore, without faith, I could not have continued the way of the ballet to the end.
Monument for Heung Jin Nim - Universal Ballet Company
We will celebrate the 25th anniversary of the founding of Universal Ballet Company next year. Universal Ballet Company was able to grow into the worldwide ballet company during the 25 years because of True Parents' love, grace, and support. I said that my life of ballet was destiny. However the destiny was also connected with the blessing with Heung Jin Nim.
Heung Jin Nim passed away in 1984 at the age of 17 before the bloom of youth. Heung Jin Nim went the sacrificial way as the providential condition through indemnity to protect Father's life. When the accident happened, he took the wheel of the car, and it was possible for him to avoid dying. However, he sacrificed himself in order to save two second generations who were with him in the car. Because of the true love and sacrifice of Heung Jin Nim, True Parents went beyond the way of indemnity and brought greater victory. True Parents were able to make a worldwide foundation today. I would like to ask you to remember the noble and glorious sacrifice of Heung Jin Nim behind True Parents' victory, and be thankful for it.
After a war, people usually make a monument for those who sacrificed their lives for the nation in order to remember and honor them. True Parents also made a living monument to honor Heung Jin Nim. It is the Universal Ballet Company. Universal Ballet Company was established in 1984 as a memorial project of Heung Jin Nim. At the time, Father wrote the calligraphy "Universal Ballet Company." Maybe, it is only one calligraphy he wrote in English. After the foundation of Universal Ballet Company, we presented ballets such as Swan Lake, Giselle, or ShimChung, which were performances to honor true love and sacrifice of Heung Jin Nim. We all gave the performances with utmost sincere devotion and unstinting efforts. Universal Ballet Company has led the world of ballet in Korea, and uplifted the level of Korean culture as well as leading the culture of our church.
Through my 40-year life of ballet, I thought that ballet was really similar to faith in many points. When one person was asked a question, "What is a ballet?," he answered, "It is beauty." The ballet is an art which expresses the most idealistic beauty by human bodies. In such a meaning, people say that a ballet is a language in heaven. Ballerinas jump high toward heaven getting out of the realm of gravity. Ballerinas dance on tiptoe stretching their necks as if they were trying to reach God. When we see the motion of ballet, it is more noble, pure, and vertical than other dances. We can understand that it is a heavenly dance. Moreover, a ballet often describes confrontations between good and evil. There are many ballet works which express the spirit world. Giselle presupposes the spirit world. This work expresses the love overcoming death, and it corresponds to the meaning of the Day of Victory of Love.
Ballet Is a Vocation
Another point in which a ballet is similar to faith is that both are vocations rather than works to earn a living. No one performs a ballet in order to earn money. I think that it is the same as pastors. The proverb "A ballet is a vocation" shows the attitude we should have as ballerinas. Religious leaders are called by God. In the world of ballet, they say that the ballet selects a ballerina rather than that a ballerina selects a ballet. In a sense, a ballet stage is similar to a podium of a church. Ballerinas try to impress the audience by a beautiful dance instead of a sermon. George Paransin, a choreographer, said, "A theater is like a holy temple for me. Therefore, whenever I enter into a theater, I feel as if I entered into a holy temple."
Oleg Vinogradov who was consecutively an artistic director of the Universal Ballet said, "After seeing a ballet, we can feel we took a mental shower. However, it is a problem that, recently, there are many ballets which make us feel that we want to take a shower after the ballet." Not all ballets are of a high level. However, only the ballets which are full of artistic passion and sincere devotion can impress us. The real high-level art has a power to give us a new vitality and hope and heal our minds only by artistic beauty even though its topic is not religious. A ballet can move everyone transcending religion, nationality, and race. Therefore, a ballet will be able to play an important role in establishing world peace. True Parents know the value of ballet, so they founded the ballet company. Moreover, through Universal Ballet Company, the life, sacrifice, and true love of Heung Jin Nim could be sublimated into an art.
I retired from the stage six years ago. Many people in the ballet world envied me because there was the Universal Ballet Company for me. I have lived as a ballerina and shed a lot of tears in the 10s, 20s, and 30s. It was so difficult that I sometimes thought that I should have become a painter. There is such a proverb in the ballet world: "If I neglect a lesson for a day, I can know it by myself. If I neglect lessons for two days, my teacher will know it. If for three days, everyone will know it." My ballet teacher said to me, "Ballerinas have to have lessons as if our hearts beat without ceasing." If a heart stops, we die. The teacher told me that only when I had lessons without ceasing, I could become a great ballerina. After my retirement, I felt, "how easy my body is if I do not do a ballet!" From the age of seven, it has been my daily life to have ballet lessons day after day. Other people saw me and thought, "How hard it is for her," but I took the lessons for granted.
I have lived a physically difficult life as a ballerina, and a lonesome life due to the marriage with Heung Jin Nim who is in the spirit world. Whenever Father said to me, "It is difficult for you, isn't it?", I was really healed by the word. Father understood me as if he were also a ballerina. I felt it from his word of comfort with sincerity. I express my gratitude to True Parents who have encouraged me to go the way of ballet without giving up halfway.
My Child That I Gave Birth to With Heung Jin Nim – The Universal Ballet Company
I never met Heung Jin Nim on earth. In a sense, my life on earth seems like my long engagement period. During the engagement period, I am living as a romanticist thinking romantically. I expressed my love to Heung Jin Nim through my dance. My partner was always Heung Jin Nim on my ballet stage. Through the ballet, I loved Heung Jin Nim from the bottom of my heart.
My only wish is that the Universal Ballet could become a ballet company that has a 250-year or 400-year long history such as the Mariinsky Ballet or the Opera National de Paris. Monuments are usually built in order to remember someone eternally. The Universal Ballet is a monument to honor Heung Jin Nim. I hope that it will continue even after my passing from the earth in order to remember Heung Jin Nim's true love eternally. The Universal Ballet was made through Heung Jin Nim's sacrifice and my sweat and tears, so, in a sense, it is like the child that he and I gave birth to. I actually have Shin Cheol and Shin Wol. Of course, it is impossible to compare it with them, but the Universal Ballet is also like my child . Therefore, I wish that the child grows and develops generation after generation even after my death.
After my retirement, I have lived as the director of the Universal Ballet. I am very sorry that I could not take good care of Shin Cheol and Shin Wol as their mother. However, frankly speaking, I was able to continue ballet this far because of these children. Shin Cheol is my first love who protected me as an elder son of Heung Jin Nim, and gave me great pleasure. I express my deep gratitude to Hyun Jin Nim's family who gave me this precious son. Shin Cheol has grown missing omma (mother) very much, but I am thankful that he grew well. I am sure that he will grow as a son whom his grandparents and father can be proud of.
Shin Wol is my hope meanwhile Shin Cheol is my first love. I wish Shin Wol would succeed to the monument for appa (father) after her growth. Wonderfully, Shin Wol likes a ballet a lot. When we came home after seeing a ballet , she dances, imitating the ballet, even though I did not teach it to her. She is still only five years old, but when I play music, she dances following the music. She surprisingly has a talent for music and dancing. Actually, I did not think that I could adopt another child after Shin Cheol, but through Father's advice, Hyo Jin Nim's family gave me this precious daughter. I am very happy to raise Shin Wol. I express my deep gratitude to Hyo Jin Nim and Yeon Ah Nim.
When I raised Shin Cheol, I was very happy. I thought that how happy it would have been if I had been able to raise my real child who resembles me. However, surprisingly, Shin Cheol resembles Heung Jin Nim a lot, and Shin Wol resembles me. Whenever I take Shin Wol with me, people say that she looks like me. I am grateful that God, True Parents, and Hyo Jin Nim's family gave a daughter who resembles me. I also thank Shin Wol. Our beloved members! Thank you very much for having watched, loved, and prayed for our family and the Universal Ballet. Please continue to love our family and the Universal Ballet. We will also make an effort to live for the sake of everyone and give back glory and joy to God and True Parents.