My mother called me from Korea around 10 o'clock at night. She said, "You've just been engaged to Kyung In Suh from the 124 Couples:' I had no idea who he was, so I asked her, "Did you see him?" She said, "No, but I saw his picture. He looks like a very nice gentleman:' That night I left Boston for New York around 2 a.m., and the next morning I flew to Korea.
I had sent my high school graduation picture; my husband wasn't at the matching either, so we were both matched by picture. During the rehearsal somebody said to me, "Oh, your husband's here:' I just walked up to him and said, "Hello. Nice to meet you;' and we shook hands.
When I first saw him I thought, "He has no hair!" He was in the army, so his hair was cut very close. He had quite a dark complexion, and I didn't think he was at all handsome. I thought, "Oh no, I have to live with this person for the rest of my life?" But these were just physical things; they didn't really matter. Afterwards I changed my thinking completely.
"I love you, my dear husband”
The next day we were engaged and then 30 minutes later we were married! I didn't have any time to think, because everything was like a huge whirlwind, and everyone was busy. My husband and I were just going along with everybody else. Only after I came back to America, and I had time to be by myself, did I actually think about what had happened to me. I'm sure most of the others felt the same.
I met my husband's parents there and they treated me like a daughter, not like a daughter-in-law. They were grateful that their son was matched to a daughter of one of the 36 Couples.
When I was growing up I never knew exactly what matching, engagement, or marriage meant, but I knew I was going to be matched by Father and no one else. I could never think about doing it any other way. I thought that something bad would happen to me if I didn't follow Father. As far as a relationship with a boy that was totally out of the question. Somehow, ever since I was little, I knew that the only person who was going to find my husband was True Father.
I knew I would love my husband, whoever he turned out to be, even before I was matched. I always said silently to myself, "I love you, my dear husband. I don't know your name, or where you are, but I love you. I care for you because you are my husband. You are somebody that God has been preparing for me my whole life:' Then when the matching came, in a way it wasn't shocking to me; I knew it was going to come. Still, when it actually happens, and you meet the person you've been waiting for all your life, it's kind of scary.
When I met him, he was different from what I had expected. After we talked with each other though, we both realized that each of us really was the one that the other had been waiting for all these years. Little by little, I'm finding out why Father gave him to me. I can see what his personality and his feelings are, and all the aspects of his character that I don't I Little by little, J'm finding out why Father gave my husband to me. I can see what his personality and his feelings are, and all the aspects of his character that I don't have. I feel that I am lacking in certain areas that he fills in, and I think I do the same for him. My first impression of him and what I think about him now are very, very different.
Very little family life
When I was young my parents went through incredible physical and emotional suffering. In the 50s and early 60s things just weren't available in Korea as they are today; there were many times when my parents had nothing to eat. I don't remember seeing my parents very much. I have very few memories of them.
My mother was always leaving to go witnessing. I remember my youngest brother ]in Gil, when he was two or three years old, always wanted to go with her. When she was leaving for the bus station he would run after her and grab her skirt. She would have to bring him back to the house, and she would try to leave again. But he would run after her again and cry. My parents were never home; I basically had to raise my brothers by myself. We also had a church sister take care of us. When I was around nine years old, my father died from an illness, and from just being worn out.
When I saw families going to the park together I envied them, because our whole family never went anywhere together. By the time I was old enough to have enjoyed a family outing, it was too late; my father was already in spirit world. I don't remember having any kind of family life. Yet in spite of everything we never really had a grudge against our parents; we never hated our parents for not being there. Idon't know how, but somehow we knew that what they were doing was for a good purpose, for Heavenly Father.
My father was very concerned with our education, especially with our life of faith. When my brother [in Bok was around three years old, he started to take him to his Principle lectures. My father used to lecture every night, and he would put [in Bok down near him. But [in Bok would always end up falling asleep on the floor. Somebody would take him to another room while my father finished the lecture, and afterwards my father would carry him home. He did that for many, many years. That's how much concern my father had for us.
My family came to America in December 1973, so my brothers and I were mostly educated in America. At first we lived in San Francisco. My mother ran a Sunday school because there were no Sunday services for blessed children at that time. Then we moved to Tarrytown and went to high school in Irvington. I went to three different high schools, so I didn't really have a chance to get to know anybody special; I didn't really have any friends. My brother was persecuted in school, and the teachers didn't like him very much, but it didn't bother him. The persecution my brother got, compared to the persecution that Father's children get, was nothing. Father's children don't talk about it, but I know what they do to True Children in school. What we went through is nothing, so I myself cannot even say, "I received persecution:'
Respect from my friends
At times I have wondered about my faith, especially at college. But when 1 look at the lives of my friends and ask them, "What do you want to do with your life?" their first concern is, "I want to be financially secure:' What they care most about is money. They study hard so they can get the best job. It seems so limited to me. My girlfriends spend all their time searching for the right guy. On weekends they take hours preparing themselves so they can look physically beautiful, so that some man might find them attractive and ask them out. When they have a relationship and they don't like it, they break up, and then they get hurt. And they repeat this over and over again.
In the beginning my friends thought I was crazy, because in my freshman year I told them I didn't want any guy to ask me out; I told them that I was going to have my marriage arranged by my parents. By the time I was a junior I told them I was already married. So at school they think I'm a little strange; but still at the same time they respect me. They say, "I wish I had somebody who would find that perfect love for me;' and they're really happy to see that I'm happy. Actually they are curious and even envious about my way of life because they're so sick of their own lives. Many of them come from broken families, and they try so hard to find happiness. Everybody wants to meet the right person to live with the rest of life, right? That's very difficult to do. In the outside world it is rare for a person to find the right mate. After seeing all this, I never doubted True Parents.
I have a tremendous respect for my mother; she's been working so hard without my father for such a long time. She has a strong faith that goes on and on. Just from watching her my whole life, I knew there had to be something true about our church. Our family is always together with everybody else; we live a very public life. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like not to have a lot of pressure always put on me, just to have a regular family. But I really do feel that life in our church is exciting; you never know what's going to happen or where you might go.
My mother never said to me directly, "You have to follow this way; True Parents are the Messiah:' She never said anything like that. I just watch her daily life and her total dedication, and I remember my father's total loyalty to True Parents. Before my father died, the last thing he told [in Bok, [in Gil and me was that he wants us to be true sons and daughters of True Parents. I will always remember that.
For my parents' sake, I would never think twice about not following this way. I really love my parents very much. They never did anything to betray what they believe. Going this way was not a matter of forcing myself; it just grew within me. I was born with that faith, because of my parents.
From Today’s World, July 1986, pp.