During my teen years, as I was learning about God as my Heavenly Father, I discovered the Holocaust stories of the Jewish survivors. I told Heavenly Father that until I had suffered as they did, I could never expect Him to love me. I felt humbled by the stories I read, and strengthened that such amazing people were living in my lifetime. As I studied the faith of the Jews, I read the Bible with a different perspective and remembered that Jesus was also a Jew. I was so deeply touched when Reverend Moon matched me with the son of Holocaust survivors — Dan Stein, born of Jewish refugees from Los Angeles, California. We agreed to the exchange marriage, where for the sake of world peace, we marry the descendant of our ancestors’ e n e m i e s
Jesus was very strict with me when I married my husband Dan. We were matched by Reverend and Mrs. Moon and married in the 1800 Couple Blessing on February 8, 1975, in Korea. The week after that, we went to Japan to a huge rally at the Buddakan c e n t e r. Despite my pride in having an “exchange marriage” I was having a difficult time feeling comfortable with my Jewish husband. Although we spoke the same language, English, we had a terrible tension between us. It seemed that we couldn’t understand anything the other one said or meant; I felt rejected by him, and he felt agitated by me. We didn’t like to be together, even though we were both proud of our marriage for world peace. It was a real dilemma, and I was very unhappy. As we gathered inside the hall for the great rally, I became extremely fatigued. I went to the ladies room to splash my face, and I felt a great need to cry. I went inside one of the toilet stalls and cried very deeply. I was not a happy bride at all. I said in my prayer, “Jesus, dear Jesus! You are Jewish! My husband is your brother! Surely you must love him! Please give me your love for him!”
I became extremely drowsy, and I fell asleep right there on the toilet seat, my head against the wall. I had a very amazing dream. To this day, more than thirty years later, I can see it clearly. I saw Jesus being pushed to the ground by Romans. I saw their big sweaty back muscles, and the huge arms that held an iron hammer. I cried out, “No, no! Don’t do it! This is Jesus! Don’t hurt him!” I was hysterical in my dream, yet I couldn’t be heard by the Roman soldiers.
Then a voice said to me, “Pamela! Look here!” I looked up and there was the hand of Jesus with the wounds of his crucifixion before me. He held his hands out to me and said, “Pamela! This was my wedding day! Do not complain about yours!” I awoke shocked. This dream had only taken a few seconds. I was deeply chastised. Jesus was to have been blessed in holy marriage; his only desire was to create a family for Heavenly Father. A blessed Family! Now I was blessed by True Parents, with God having guided them to choose my spouse, just as He had promised me! It was a great day! And I was pouting like a child, unable to feel gratitude for the great blessing I had received. I repented with tears, and then I ran upstairs to look for my Jewish husband. I found him and took his hand and said for the first time to him, “I love you. Thank you for accepting me as your spouse and the mother of our future children.”
From I Am in This Place, p. 6.