Sunday Services Testimony: The Community of Believers

by Hugh and Nora Spurgin

The power of any church is in its congregation of believers. In the past, the Unification Church's congregation lived in centers. With growing families, we began living in our own homes. This has been a transition time during which we have to change our own way of thinking as a church. Now, during our tribal messiah time, we need to develop the concept of a community of believers, and use this community itself as the center of our witnessing; it must become the drawing power to the Divine Principle and the tradition of true love.

In September 1992, an event took place which changed our own lives dramatically. My husband, who is one of the vice presidents of the Unification Church, and I as director of the Blessed Family Department, were asked to take on the new mission of tribal messiah in our hometown.

Unlike most other missions, tribal messiahship presented the incredible challenge of establishing a whole new foundation as one individual family. It would be too long a story to tell our entire course here; suffice it to say that we experienced the tremendous loneliness and the awful financial insecurity of starting from scratch in a new place with no jobs. Without the support system of other church members and centers around us, we decided that we had to become a spiritual magnet with the drawing power to create our own congregation, building slowly to the point where it would be a stronger and stronger magnetic point.

The first year we drove over an hour every Sunday to the Philadelphia center for Sunday services. The next year we moved to Reading, Pennsylvania, closer to our physical family and further from Philadelphia. It was time to start a congregation. A few other tribal messiahs had begun moving into the Reading and surrounding areas as well. In making our move, we sought a house which would accommodate a small Sunday service and a Sunday school. We knew that a good Sunday school was the key to bringing families, our own church families as well as eventual guests. We found a house with a large family room downstairs, perfect for Sunday school. In the meantime, Geoffrey and Claire Hinkle had also moved to Reading, and Dr. and Mrs. Simon, an elderly Indian minister couple who were blessed in the 30,000 couple blessing, were already living there. We were a trinity. As soon as we moved, we began getting together for Sunday service.

The Sunday School

We had two teenage blessed children (high school students) still living at home. We heard that some of the Japanese blessed children born and raised in America wanted to continue school in America. So when we moved, we decided on a house with one extra bedroom and invited the Sugiyama girls, ages 17 and 15, to live with us. This had many mutual benefits, the greatest of which was companionship at an age when being alone in high school as blessed children was often a lonely or painful experience. So, we had four teenagers in our family. They joined clubs together, took music lessons together, occasionally went to parties together, and it was a joy to see them grow in faith. These four teenagers decided in a family meeting that they would like to take responsibility for teaching the Sunday school.

Rob and Sally Sayre, who lived about an hour away, joined our service and Sally took responsibility for supervising the Sunday school. The Sayres' own two children were so happy to have a Unification Church Sunday school. Several other couples, David and Anne Cantrell, Ken and Yaeko Grosklos, and David and Joelle Byrne, decided to join the service as Reading was geographically somewhat central to this group. We finally had 21 children in the Sunday school. They divided up into four groups, and each of the four older blessed children took a class. I was so moved when I saw these teenagers drawing names of the Sunday school members (they were dividing up the kids to pray for them!).

The Service and Congregation

About a half year after our small beginnings, Scott and Christy McKenna also moved to Reading, Scott's hometown, with their four children. Soon thereafter, Steve and Lydia Martin moved to Allentown, and both couples joined the congregation. The nine couples and 21 children have bonded into a warm and loving community of members who shared our faith, our struggles and our triumphs. We missed each other when someone couldn't come, and the children looked forward to Sunday school.

How did we handle the service? The couples took turns giving the service. Usually, one spouse moderated and the other gave the sermon. We decided to share testimonies on the first round, giving each husband and wife an opportunity to speak. The testimonies helped us to get to know each other more deeply.

After the service was over, we would share a potluck lunch and continue to share our lives of faith in a more casual way. We discussed witnessing methods, business and job opportunities, and raising children. Such sharing was an integral part of our community of faith, bringing faith into every aspect of life.

As we developed, we realized that we had reached a new stage in our community. Quite naturally, our sharing has turned to a desire to open up our services to other families as a witness. We prayed for each other's relatives, and welcomed each other's friends and contacts. The Sayres held a one-day workshop for two guests. The workshop was supported by our little church community in prayer, attendance and lecturing. Sally had been working with a prayer group in their home for over a year. Claire Hinkle, Christy McKenna and I have begun a women's Saturday running discussion group. Two wonderful women joined this group. Our hope is to make contacts as well as other friends and relatives a part of our church community. After about nine months of services every other Sunday, our congregation was ready to come out of the "womb" and be born into the real world of evangelization. A lot of healing and bonding took place during those nine months. We were feeling the need to consider moving our service to a larger, more public place. We believe people will join us as we embrace each other in true love, which is the living testimony of the Divine Principle and the work of our True Parents.

The Present

Our family was sad to leave our little congregation of love and care and faith. However, the demands of WFWP work for Nora and the need for a stable job took us to Washington, DC where we now worship with a much larger congregation.

Seattle's First Sisterhood Conference

by Patricia Couweleers-Seattle, WA

Seattle's first International Women's Friendship Conference took place at the Red Lion SeaTac on Oct. 6. On the Japanese participants' first day of arrival, Oct. 5, they toured the sights of Seattle and were pleasantly surprised to find that although Seattle is a fairly large city, it is also a very green one with many trees, parks and vegetation, and very clean as well.

On the day of their sisterhood ceremonies, 128 Japanese women were excitedly awaiting their American sister matches. Everyone was matched; however, because of last-minute flight-cancellations, some of the Japanese women were picture-matched to American women as far away as Alaska and Montana. The following day, telephone visits were set up for the picture-matched women with their new sisters.

During the sisterhood ceremony, many heartfelt tears were shed by American and Japanese women who felt the meaningfulness of healing old wounds and making a new beginning with their new sisters.

Catherine Crier, our keynote speaker, gave a rousing speech on the theme "The Power of One." She spoke of how just one ordinary person can make a great positive difference on history. She spoke with deep conviction and passion, sharing with us her motivation for pursuing a career in the media.

The sisterhood ceremony was followed by a sit-down reception where everyone could talk up a storm with their new sisters through the interpreters. The evening entertainment over dinner presented a unique opportunity for east and west to come together-through dancing together! We danced to the irresistible music of the Jimmy Dorsey Band. By the time the day was over, everyone was bubbling with even more energy than when we started-a sure sign of joy and happiness and hope for new friendships to begin.

Several of the American women who attended are very active in public service work. Two ladies, for example, operate a special pediatric ward for babies who are born to drug-addicted mothers or are AIDS babies. From the many women who work in special ways for others like these, our local WFWP is planning to network with them either in projects or for volunteer work.

PWPA on World Wide Web

Subj: PWPA on World Wide Web
Date: Thu, Sep 28, 1995 2:25 PM EST
From: 71652.3231@compuserve.com
X-From: 71652.3231@compuserve.com (Gordon Anderson)

To: damian@cais.com (Damian Anderson), unews@aol.com (Richard Lewis), dallas@halycon.com (Dallas Stafford)

This note is to let you know that PWPA is now up on the World wide web at:

http://www.idis.com/pwpa

I would appreciate informing unificationists through your unification news media. If you would like to establish hyperlinks from your Web pages, please link to our home page:

http://www.idis.com/pwpa/homepage.htm

Overview of Tour '95

This is an overview of the speaking tour listing the date, speaker, city, number attending, auditorium, the person giving the invocation, the person introducing the speaker, and notes about the event.

09/23/95

Kook Jin Nim Mobile AL 300 Mobile Clarion Hotel Rev. Wesley James, Baptist Minister Mr. Robert Battles, candidate for City CouncilA Proclamation was sent from the Mayor of Mobile, Alabama. A Proclamation was sent from the Mayor of the city of Prichard, Alabama. A Letter was sent from Congressman Sonny Callahan, U.S. Congress for the District of Alabama. A 70-member Youth Choir from a local organization entertained. (Later, at the victory celebration, a second generation choir of 40 blessed children from Top Garden School performed especially for Kook Jin Nim

09/24/95

Kook Jin Nim Baltimore MD 500 Baltimore Marriott Inner Harbor Rev. Timothy Cleary Mr. Tom Marr - WCBM Radio Host Mr. Tom Marr gave a most marvelous introduction, honoring True Parents, True Family and Koreans in general. Mr. Marr is also associated with the World Media Association. The Mayor of Baltimore gave Honorary Citizenship to Kook Jin Nim and a Resolution was given from the City Council declaring "September 24 as Day of theTrue Family" in Baltimore, presenter being Councilman Melvin Stukes.

09/29/95

In Sup Nim Souix Falls SD 70 Regency Hotel, Symphony Room Rev. Dwayne Boyce Mr. David Payer, American Freedom Coalition, Iowa Proclamation was sent from Mayor Gary Hanson. State Senator Tom Daschle sent a letter of congratulations, and State Representative Tom Johnson sent letter of congraulations. Awards were presented to In Sup Nim by the Ethiopian, Sudanese and Kurdish Communities.

09/30/95

In Sup Nim Salt Lake City UT 90 Holiday Inn Rev. Wendy Stovall, State Leader, Unification Church Mr. Greg Beesley, well-known community activist. A Proclamation was sent declaring Sept. 30 as "Day of the True Family" from the office of the Mayor of nearby Sandy City, Utah. A Plaque was presented to The Family of Reverend and Mrs. Sun Myung Moon, "In Appreciation For Your Tireless Efforts Toward The Restoration Of True Love And Commitment Within The American Family And Society" from the Utah Parents' Coalition in Salt Lake City. The presenters were the James Gibsons (Mormon) who received a Parent's Day Award from Congressman Hansen in 1994. Sixteen people from the audience met with In Sup Nim. Very good discussion was held, about the Blessing & Sisters of Peace ceremonies. Three couples among them are interested in the Blessing.

10/01/95

Kwon Jin Nim New Orleans LA 150 Doubletree Hotel Father Rev. Kiko Santos, Catholic Mr. John Monestere, Pres., Family Federation of Louisiana Bishop Amy Green gave the benediction at the end of the program, and before she did this, she highly praised Kwon Jin Nim for having such dignity during his presentation even though he was so youthful.

10/02/95

Hwa Yun Nim Portland ME 170 Verrillo's Convention Center A Minister from Ivory Coast, Africa Mr. James Hewes, attorney, UTS graduate Among the audience were 35 members from a Christian church congregation.

10/03/95

Kook Jin Nim Columbus OH 190 Columbus Convention Center Rev. Floyd Fought, United Methodist Regional Superintentent Mr. John Morris, Ohio Chairman for The Family Federation (FFUWP)

10/06/95

In Sup Nim Fargo ND 110 North Dakota State University, Music Building, Beckwith Recital Hall Rev. Paul Agir, Evangelist from Sudan Mr. Charles Cook, AFC Coordinator A Letter of Welcome was sent from the Governor Ed Schaefer's office. A letter was received from United States Senator Byron Dorgan. Letters were received from the Chinese, Bosnian and Sudanese Communities.

10/07/95

Kook Jin Nim Jackson Ms 200 Harvey Hotel, Conference Room Rev. Allen Herring, Baptist Church Hillman Frazier, State Senator Three local TV stations filmed the opening remarks and part of the speech. So they have sent the videos to the UC and the church is going to show them on the local public TV station. A Proclamation was issued by Mayor Ken Ditto, proclaiming October 7 as "True Family Day" in Jackson. Other letters were received and read from local city officials.

Hwa Yun Nim Kansas City KS 70 University of Kansas in Lawrence Mr. John O'Connor, UTS Alumni Dr. Timothy Miller, Professor of Religious Studies

10/08/95

Jin Sung Nim Louisville KY 300 King Solomon Missionary Baptist Church Rev. Charles Elliot, Pastor Rev. Dennis Wooley, State Leader, Unification Church of Kentucky This church was the place of the Blessing by True Parents in 1995. Pastor Charles Elliot's couple was blessed at that time.

Jun Sook Nim Columbia SC 250 Adam's Mark Hotel, Grand Ballroom Rev. Mark Robinson, radio minister (blessed by True Parents) Professor Carl D. Evans, Religious Studies Received 6 proclamations altogether. One from the Governor's office; one from the Mayor's office; and the remainder from surrounding towns. A plaque to True Family was presented by Bishop Barbor's congregation. A plaque from ICC and Family Federation was presented to Jun Sook Nim.

10/09/95

Jin Sung Nim Manchester NH 200 Sheraton Wayfarer Conference Center Mr. Alan Ballenger, ACC-AFC leader from Connecticut Honorable Marjorie Buessing from the New Hampshire Legislature The Mayor of Manchester sent a most beautiful, moving letter of congratulations. In this letter, he was very personal, very specific about information concerning True Father, True Parents.

10/11/95

Jin Hun Nim Las Vegas NV 130 University of Nevada at Las Vegas Mr. Michael Balcomb, CARP Western Leader. A Proclamation was sent from the Mayor of Las Vegas and a proclamation was sent from the Mayor of North Las Vegas.

10/12/95

Jin Hun Nim Oklahoma City OK 75 Memorial Union of the University of Oklahoma Loren White, President of Family Federation Rev. Christoph Resmerowski, Oklahoma State Leader

10/13/95

Jin Hun Nim Laramie WY 120 Holiday Inn, Laramie Mr. George Love, Family Federation member Dr. James Schatzmann, Prof. of mathematics, Univ. of Wyoming A nice presentation and plaque presented by Dr. Bibek Ray, Campus CARP Advisor. Members of the World CARP Academy were in attendance to hear Jin Hun Nim, the Academy Founder, speak. The Introducer, Dr. James Schatzmann's couple, were blessed recently by True Parents.

10/14/95

Jun Sook Nim Albany NY 200 College of St. Rose, St. Joseph Hall Rev. Carlo Lazzaro, Pastor, Reformed Church Professor Colia Clark, Union College in Schenectady, NY The newly blessed daughter-in-law of the Farley Jones family entertained with a traditional Korean folk dance.

10/15/95

Jun Sook Nim Charlotte NC 200 University of North Carolina at Charlotte, Lucas Room, Cone Center Rev. Henry C. Puegh, Minister, House of Jacob Church Rev. Lois Hargrave of the Deliverance Tabernacle in Lexington, NC Dr. Brenda Richardson, Dean of Students, UNCC gave the welcoming remarks and introduced the entire program. 22 Proclamations and Letters of Welcome were received for Jun Sook Nim and the Family Federation . Among them were: A Proclamation from the Governor's office, declaring October 15 "Family Day in Charlotte" A Proclamation from the Mayor's office. Letters of Welcome and Congratulations were sent from neighboring cities. Bishop & Mrs. L. V. Stennis, recently blessed by True Parents, presented a Plaque from ICC of North Carolina. Rev. Henry C. Peugh, the Invocator, encouraged the audience to honor Reverend and Mrs. Moon who founded the Family Federation.

In Jin Nim Indianapolis IN 150 First Christian Missionary Baptist Church Bishop Gilbert Clarke Jin Sung Nim (and the church pastor introduced Jin Sung Nim) The church pastor, Dr. Damon Roach said, in hearing In Jin Nim's speech, that he was reminded of the Scripture passage, "go tell the people about my love." He went on to say that the Unification Church is the only organization he knows of that is using its time and resources to heal the family! Dr. Roach's couple were Blessed by True Parents in the 360,000 Blessing.

Hyun Jin Nim St. Louis MO 200 Greater True Vine Spiritual Church of Jesus Christ Rev. Irma Cannida, pastor of the church Rev. Purnell Spicer, Evangelist.

10/16/95

Jin Hun Nim Portland OR 200 Portland State University, Vanport Room Rev. Harry Daniels, Church of God in Christ minister & Criminologist Rev. Harry Daniels also introduced Jin Hun Nim

10/17/95

Hyun Jin Nim Burlington VT 100 Sheraton Hotel and Conference Center, Emerald Ballroom II Rev. Peter Groenendyk, State Leader of Rhode Island Mr. Richard Buessing, President, New England Family Federation Among those present in the audience was Dr. William Paden, Chairman, Department of Religion at the University of Vermont

10/18/95

Jin Hun Nim Madison WI 90 University of Wisconsin, State Historical Society Auditorium Mr. Jim Anderson, Campus Minister (grad. of Univ.of Wisconsin & UTS)

10/19/95

Jin Hun Nim Little Rock AK 55 Holiday Inn - City Center Rev. Asa Phillips, Pastor, Cornerstone Baptist Church Dr. T. Dale Alford, former United States Congressman A proclamation was received from the City of Little Rock honoring October 19 as the "Day of the True Family" Jin Hun Nim received an Arkansas Travelers Certificate from the Secretary of State's Office, which is given to special guests that visit Arkansas. Jin Hun Nim was made an Honorary Citizen of the City of North Little Rock by Mayor Patrick Henry Hays. Note: The Introducer, Dr. T. Dale Alford's couple were Blessed by True Parents in the 360,000 Blessing.

10/20/95

Jin Hun Nim Omaha NE 58 Holiday Inn Convention Center Rev. Thomas Rollerson Mrs. Shirley Wilson, Evangelist

10/21/95

Kook Jin Nim Billings MT 120 The Billings Sheraton Sister Kate Dorsey, Catholic Nun Mr. Rodney Garcia, former state legislator, local community leader United States Senator Conrad Burns sent a letter. The Mayor of Billings sent a letter. Chamber of Commerce letter was sent and a letter was sent from the local Neighbor Board (where our church is located and our Unification Church pastor is on the Board).

10/22/95

Hyun Jin Nim Nashville TN 200 Holiday Inn-Vanderbilt Elder Robert Ross, Church of God Dr. James Campbell, Prof. of Biological Science, Tennessee State U. Received a Proclamation and a letter from the Governor's office. The City of Nashville gave Honorary Citizenship to Hyun Jin Nim.

In Jin Nim Richmond VA 370 Jefferson Hotel, Grand Ballroom Pastor Beverly Jones, Friendship Interdenominational Holy Church Mayor Leonidas Young A Proclamation was brought from City Hall. A Letter of Congratulations was sent from Professor Cliff Edwards, CARP Campus Advisor, Virginia Commonwealth University. Letters of Welcome were sent from: Congressman Thomas J. Blyley Jr.. State Senator Henry L. Marsh III. State Senator Benjamin J. Lambert III Virginia received extra blessings by the presence of In Jin Nim's couple and children which so enriched the families in the Virginia area. Also, Jin Sung Nim led the members in Sunday morning service.

Kook Jin Nim Phoenix AZ 150 Higher Vision Center, Church of Religious Science of Phoenix Pastor Ronald Payne, Open Door Church Ms. Beverly Tidwell, Pres. of Candlelighters (parents of cancer children) A Letter of Welcome was sent from the State Legislature. A Letter of Welcome was sent from the Mayor's office in Phoenix.

10/26/95

Hyun Jin Nim Des Moines IA 100 Embassy Suite Hotel Rev. Grant Barber, ICC Minister Mr. Allen Jessen, President, Family Federation of Iowa A Letter of Congratulations was sent from United States Senator Charles Grassley A Letter was sent from Mayor John Pat Dorrian of Des Moines

10/28/95

Kwon Jin Nim Boise ID 110 Boise State University, Student Union Building Ms. Julie Robinson, Women's leader in the Mormon Church Ms. Rose Cordon, retired professor. The introducer, Ms. Cordon, was a beautiful lady and gave a most impressive and eloquent introduction to Kwon Jin Nim. Another lady in the audience had the urge to attend Kwon Jin Nim and ran up to give him water to drink.

In Sup Nim Albuquerque NM 70 Albuquerque Hilton Hotel, Rio Grande Room Mr. Florian Perea, Elder of Seventh Day Adventist Church of Valencia Ms. Kay Lim, former Pres. of Wash. D.C. Korean-Am. Women's Assoc. A Proclamation was sent from Governor Gary Johnson declaring October 28 "True Family Day. " A Proclamation was sent from Mayor Martin Chavez , declaring "True Family Day" for the city of Albuquerque.

10/29/95

Hwa Yun Nim Detroit MI 220 Greater New Hope Missionary Baptist Church Rev. P. Spicer, ICC Director Ms. Roxanne Rosell, WFWP Chairwoman Received Letter of Welcome from the Governor's Office.

10/30/95

Kook Jin Nim Providence RI 200 Providence Marriott, Grand Ballroom Rev. Clyde O. Walker, AME Church Mr. Richard Buessing, President, New England Family Federation A Letter of Congratulations was sent from the Governor's office. A Citation was sent from the Mayor's office.

New Album of Irish Music

by Elise McKnight-Rome, NY

Terry and I are happy to offer our new music tape, "An Irish Collection," to church family and friends. It contains some of our favorite Celtic songs which we perform regularly in Central New York.

There has been a renaissance in Irish music which has caused it to be in increasing demand. This year marks the 150th anniversary of the Great Famine in Ireland. Half of the population migrated to America as a result, to find work on the canals and railroads.

Like ourselves, many families of Irish heritage look to tracing their roots as a way of finding deeper meaning and connection between the generations. It is common to have reunions of the entire clan.

We perform for family reunions and weddings and do Irish programs year-round. Two of our daughters do Irish step-dancing as well, and our son and newborn are in tow as much as possible.

You pass on what you receive. Terry's parents always sang duets together for family gatherings. One of my most precious memories is of my mother singing Irish songs on stage, with me sitting in the middle of the front row. She could only sing if I was there.

We also do children's music programs for the local children's museum and libraries. We collaborated with other musicians to create a promotional tape for the Utica Children's Museum.

Drawing on our background as New Hope Singers, we also have performed international Christmas music in an historical setting at Erie Canal Village (by candlelight!). This month we will be part of "Christmas on Main Street" in Utica.

Performing as a family for family reunions has been wonderful. When our two sets of parents first met, singing Irish songs together created a great bond.

Ireland has been referred to as the "Korea of the West." The music has always moved our hearts and we hope it touches yours.

Terry and Elise McKnight live in Rome, NY with their four children. Terry has a flower business, "Strictly Roses," and is the head of the local Neighborhood Watch.

Naomi Judd at IWFC Conference

by Debby Gullery-New York

In New York, Naomi Judd was the keynote speaker for our September conference. She walked among the audience, inspiring the women most effectively with her heart-to-heart talk. Afterwards, she signed many copies of her book, often reaching into her bag to give a small gift. She created such a warm feeling of sisterhood and personal courage that each woman felt newly empowered. It set the tone for a wonderful conference. And just when we couldn't imagine that anything could be any better, we held our second IWFC, and it even more wonderful. The strong sense of community was felt even before the conference began!

During the event, a wonderful and unexpected situation developed. In the same room we had booked our conference, was a Rotarian conference celebrating the 50th anniversary of the UN. One of our sisters brought a guest from that conference to ours! She was a Christian who immediately felt that her meeting with WFWP was designed by God, and midway through the conference approached the chairwoman with an idea. She wanted to present the flag from her local Rotary Club to WFWP to symbolize the beginning of a special working relationship between our like-minded organizations working for peace. We easily fit this beautiful presentation into our program and, amazingly enough, the chairwoman discovered the next day that the small Colorado town where the Rotarian flag came from was the "sister city" to the small town in New Zealand where the chairwoman's husband is from! Another example of spirit world working to bring specific people together from across the continents!

Among the distinguished women who crossed the bridge that day was the keynote speaker, Dr. Lynne Cheney, and Dr. Lorraine Hale, director of Hale House. Hale House is America's first and best-known child-care agency, specializing in nurturing and caring for babies born addicted to drugs and alcohol, and now also those born infected with the HIV virus. The following day, Dr. Hale's Japanese "sister" went to visit Hale House and gave a heartfelt donation on behalf of Japanese WFWP to further its work with children and build a more substantial bridge between the two "sisters", two organizations, two nations.

That evening during the entertainment, provided by Frank Sinatra Jr.'s orchestra, spontaneous dancing erupted, with every size, color, age and nationality represented on the dance floor. Such a feeling of love pervaded, it was hard to say good-bye.

Many Americans joined their Japanese sisters the next evening on the Spirit of New York cruise ship for a Farewell Banquet. Good food, friends, music and dancing filled the night air, with the Statue of Liberty and New York skyline as a dramatic backdrop. It was unforgettable. As we returned to our homes in our respective countries, we were filled with hope for the future and the determination to make a difference with our lives.

My Experience in Beijing

by Janine Jessop

What would the forum be like? As we approached in the plane, my mind was a maze of questions. Who would the participants be? Would they be militant feminists determined to destroy the family and suffering women from forgotten countries here to bring their causes before a world audience?

And what of our hosts? My concept of China was of a regimented and spiritually dry place where we would be met by unimpressed and unsmiling youth afraid to express spontaneous friendship and conversation in front of the watchful eyes of their superiors. All I could pray, as I have on many occasions when the way ahead was unclear, was "Let me be in your will, Heavenly Father. I am here for you to guide and inspire."

Not everything went smoothly in the beginning. As we had imagined, there would be logistical hiccoughs and delays in providing accommodations for tens of thousands of visitors. Our young Chinese hosts, however, were smiling and helpful. We soon discovered that these teenaged "volunteers" knew very little English, but their eyes shone with the freshness of youth and the excitement of seeing representatives of every race and color streaming into their country. For whatever purpose these young ones were chosen, the experience they would have would be something no government could control.

As the days progressed we did see militant feminists and we did see women hardened by their resentment and grievances. What surprised me however was that they appeared to be on the fringes of a vast number of open-hearted and hopeful women. Most had not come in an angry and confrontational mood, but with a desire for bridge-building and mutual empowerment. We had come with our own agendas, but in a setting where all our sisters' concerns were brought before us, there was a natural prioritizing of issues of concern. Few were self-absorbed, while many were there to represent others.

Because there was openness, we could listen, and when we could listen, we could learn. One group I participated in described their workshops as "open space" and deep emotions were expressed with tears. "I came because all of humanity was here," one woman expressed, and another: "How beautiful we all are." Some of us found ourselves dancing together, breaking through physical barriers to express celebration, honor, power and joy. Someone described that even in our muscles we carry the pain or burden of long-gone memories which can be released in music and movement.

Cultural differences in each group were welcomed as enrichment and spontaneous circles of conversation formed naturally throughout each day. I will not easily forget the two Iranian ladies who sat side-by- side, the first introducing herself as a Christian and her friend as a Muslim. They were friends who had come to offer their input on their common concerns about women, the family and world peace. In many cases, we were coming from different places politically, but there was a willingness to put aside our preconceived ideas for a time, to listen and redefine our old views if necessary.

Knowing the sacrifices necessary and the obstacles to be surmounted to make such a trip, each woman could respect the others' seriousness and focus. It was a life-changing experience for many, a necessity for some, in the process of finding a voice, offering talents or making a contribution. Our minds and hearts were stretched beyond our own organizations and nations to the whole spectrum of issues and countries represented in Huairou. It is always a great feeling to find yourself in the right place at the right time, meeting whom you need to meet, learning what you need to learn, and finding what you were seeking. Some attributed that spiritual feeling to the prayers offered for Beijing, others to a feeling of destiny that the time of women has come. We all came expecting a political battle, but to our surprise found that the spirit of God had arrived before us!

Marriage: an Institution Essential to Society

by Haven Bradford Gow

In his book The Moral Animal (New York: Vintage Books), Robert Wright, a senior editor at The New Republic magazine, explains how-from a Darwinian perspective-the institution of marriage and monogamy benefit society and deter antisocial behavior. Mr. Wright notes that "an unmarried man between twenty-four and thirty-five years of age is about three times as likely to murder another male as is a married man the same age."

Marriage, says Mr. Wright, has a "pacifying effect" on males; and unmarried, and therefore unpacified, males are more likely to engage in risky, antisocial conduct. As Mr. Wright points out, the unpacified male not only is more likely to commit murder; he also is "more likely to incur various risks-committing robbery, for example-to gain the resources which may attract women. He is more likely to rape. More diffusely, a high-risk, criminal life often entails the abuse of drugs and alcohol.... This is perhaps the best argument for monogamous marriage, with its egalitarian effects on men: inequality among males is more socially destructive-in ways which harm women and men-than inequality among women. A polygynous nation, in which large numbers of low-income men remain mateless, is not the kind of country many of us would want to live in."

Unhappily, despite what Mr. Wright claims is the social necessity of monogamous marriage, we find that broken marriages, broken homes, broken families, divorce and remarriage are common, everyday realities in the United States. Is the institution of marriage out of date? What are the ingredients of a happy, successful and enduring marriage?

In his new book The Secrets of a Lasting Marriage (Ventura, Calif.: Regal Books), marriage and family counselor Dr. H. Normal Wright says "friendship love" is indispensable to a happy, successful and enduring marriage. Friendship love, he explains, is "an unselfish dedication to your partner's happiness. It's when the fulfillment of his or her needs become one of your needs. It's learning to enjoy what he or she enjoys [so] you can share the enjoyment together." He adds: "Friendship is part of God's intention for marriage. There is a vow of trust. You don't become selfishly competitive, but wish your partner the best. You share each other's happiness and rejoice in it almost as much as the other does."

Dr. G.H. Wang, a scholar and president of a cultural affairs foundation in Chicago, tells us that "Happy, successful, enduring marriages involve the recognition of both partners of the sacredness of sex, marriage and family. Such marriages also require compatibility, that is, a man and a woman should have similar interests, temperaments, lifestyles and concepts of life." Dr. Wang adds: "The reason why there are so many divorces in America today is the heavy emphasis on self-centered individualism and gratification; too many people are selfish and do not want to make sacrifices for their spouses or for their children."

Joseph W. Gow, a dedicated and loving father in Arlington Heights, Ill., says: "When you get married, you have to make up your mind that you are marrying that person for a lifetime. Even if that person becomes sick or crippled, you have to remember you loved that person enough to marry him or her." Mr. Gow adds: "You should love your mate so much that you will never think of being unfaithful to her or him. When people live together and have premarital affairs and babies out of wedlock, they are contributing to the breakdown of the family and society itself."

Simon Zhou, a good family man in Quincy, Mass., observes: "No matter how much money you have or how many material goods you possess, you cannot buy a happy, successful and enduring marriage. Good marriages have more to do with the spiritual side of life and faith in God."