The Busy Little Star

Article from Heartwing Magazine 
Written and contributed by Elizabeth Kiedler, Gerasdorf, Austria

I feel the stories we tell to children should give them a feeling of love; also they should help to build an internal picture so they can develop a personal relationship with Heavenly Father. Actually, with a new child the world is open, so it's very important how we explain things as this is where they prepare themselves for their life. This is a story for my young daughter Zita:

One evening Heavenly Father was watching the sky. Then He noticed that there was a very busy star; it was shooting across the sky, back and forth and just couldn't seem to place itself anywhere. Then Heavenly Father had a good idea.

He called the star and said, "Please go to my little girl Zita. You can shine, twinkle, and shoot, anything, but make her happy." The star was so excited that he went away very fast across the sky, dancing as he went. He found Zita trying to sleep. Then he made a big light in the sky and shot away. After a while he came back and swung gently to and fro in the sky. Zita was very happy and before she slept, she said, "Heavenly Father, thank You so much for thinking of me. I hope You are as happy as I am tonight. Good night." Then Heavenly Father blew her a big kiss and she fell asleep.

Sunshine Elementary School Food Drive

by Brenna Iredale - San Leandro, CA

Holidays are a time for celebration with family and friends when we traditionally gather together and share special meals. For some, though, there are few meals during the holidays or any other time of the year. In order to help those less fortunate than ourselves, The Sunshine Elementary School students and staff conducted a canned and packaged food drive during the Thanksgiving season.

Kids are natural activists. When they see a need, they want to do something to help. With great enthusiasm, the students from Kindergarten through seventh grade designed and created flyers which they distributed to their neighbors. Within two weeks, the special barrel prepared to receive the childrens' canned and packaged food donations was filled ten times over.

After all the food had been collected, the students took a field trip to Project Volunteer Food Bank in Oakland to box the food which was then presented to families in the Bay Area. Each of the students who participated in the drive proudly received a special award.

Here are some reflections of the 3rd-4th grade class:

"It was fun to collect cans. One lady gave me 62 things. I think it was the shirt and tie that did it." - Henry Bechtel

"I got about 30 cans of food. My experience was that not one person said no!" - Joseph Young

"When I went to Project Volunteer, I felt really good, because I was helping poor people." - Amalia Barker

"When I went to Project Volunteer, I felt very happy, because my family had collected lots of food. I felt very sorry for the homeless and disabled people. I'm glad I had a chance to give to them." - Ariana Richie

The contents of the students' comments clearly show that this was an important community service project which gave each child a chance to develop public spirit.

Reverend Moon Appoints New Leadership for the American Church

by Dr. Tyler O. Hendricks - NYC

At the close of the series of meetings in January at Cheju Island, Korea, Rev. Sun Myung Moon changed the positions of most of the Korean elders who guide the Unification Church in America.

To bequeath the true tradition of the True Parents, Rev. Moon entrusts the church throughout the world into the hands of Korean elders. Most of these elders have been in the church for over thirty years, and have worked under Rev. Moon's direct guidance all of that time. Most began their church life during their high school years, pioneering in Korea, and have worked most of their life as Unification Church missionaries and ministers.

Of the greatest national significance was the assignment of Rev. Joong Hyun Pak to the position of Continental Director for the Unification Church of North America. Reverend Pak has served in America since 1975, and this will be his third time to be assigned to church leadership in New York.

Several of our beloved Regional Directors have been assigned to new mission fields. Rev. Sung Il Kim, Regional Director of Boston, and Rev. Chong Young Yoo, Regional Director of Denver, have been assigned to major roles in the church in Japan, overseeing the northern and southern halves of Japan respectively. Both have extensive experience with the church in Japan, but will be sorely missed in America.

Rev. Chae Hee Lee, Regional Director of Texas, was assigned a teaching and chaplaincy position at Sung Hwa University in Korea. Rev. Lee holds a doctorate in religion from America, having written and published his dissertation on liberation theology. His deep heart and spirit also will be missed in America.

Rev. Zin Moon Kim, the National Advisor of the American Church and Regional Director of the New York Region, was made the Assistant Director of the World Mission Department in New York. Rev. Moon also indicated his long-term desire to see Rev. Kim work in the field of education for world peace. Rev. Kim is one of our top educators, being an expert in the field of Unification Thought and Divine Principle internal guidance. He has extensive experience with our missions in Africa and southeast Asia as well.

Rev. Jin Hee Yu, Regional Director of Seattle, is suffering from a bout of illness, and was not assigned, pending his recovery. Rev. Yu has a diabetic condition, and we pray for his speedy recovery and return with full energy to the front line.

Three Regional Directors have been reassigned to their present positions: Rev. Chong Jik Woo in Washington, DC, Rev. Jong Bok Hong in Chicago and Rev. Sung San Lee in Los Angeles. Rev. Hong is given the additional mission to educate members in Christian evangelism, and Rev. Lee has been given the additional mission of Director of Ocean Church. Both Rev. Hong and Rev. Lee have been outstanding in these fields in their home regions over the past few years.

Rev. Do Hee Park, Regional Director of Atlanta, has moved to the Regional Directorship of the mid-Atlantic Region, centering in New Jersey. This is fortuitous, as his eldest son is very active with the Manhattan Center educational activities reaching to the second generation.

A number of younger Korean leaders have entered the field as full- fledged Regional Directors. In Boston, Rev. Jae Suk Kim is promoted from Assistant to Regional Director. Atlanta is welcoming Rev. Young Shik Ahn, formerly the Assistant Director in Los Angeles. Minneapolis will continue under the new Regional Director, Rev. Jong Suk Kim. In Denver, Rev. Ki Young Shin will assume Regional Directorship, moving from the Assistant's post in Atlanta. Dallas welcomes Rev. Dang Ok You, who was formerly Assistant Regional Director. And in Seattle, Rev. Won Keun Kim has been assigned to Regional Directorship, moving from the Assistant's position.

At the end of January, Reverend Moon created a new position, that of HSA-UWC Continental Director. There are six such positions worldwide, one of which is North America. Reverend Moon assigned Rev. Joong Hyun Pak to be the Continental Director for North America, based in New York City. Rev. Pak is also assigned to be the National Advisor of the American Church and the Regional Director of New York City Region 11, replacing Rev. Zin Moon Kim.

After pioneering work with the Unification Church, CARP and PWPA in Korea, Rev. Pak served as a missionary in Japan. Rev. Pak has served in New York through the 1970s and early 1980s as the Director of the Unification Church Performing Arts Department. He supported the mobilization for the Yankee Stadium and Washington Monument campaigns, and oversaw the development of Manhattan Center and the World Mission Center as well as other church projects.

In 1983 he was among the first Korean elders to be assigned to be Regional Director, going as an itinerant to Boston, Denver, Seattle, and again to New York in 1988. In early 1991 he assumed the Regional Directorship of the mid-Atlantic Region 2, where he served until the new assignment.

Rev. Pak studied at Dong Kook University and Tong Il Theological Seminary in Korea, and received his Doctorate in Theology from Golden State University, California, in 1985. In 1993 he published a pastoral and theological treatise on the teachings of Jesus, entitled Joymakers: Rediscovering the Beatitudes.

On the evening of February 1, some 350 New York members gathered at the National Chapel at 4 West 43rd Street to bid farewell to Rev. Zin Moon Kim and welcome Rev. Joong Hyun Pak. Mrs. Christine Kung, WFWP Leader of Brooklyn, Rev. Wayne Miller of the Manhattan Church, and Mrs. Debby Gullery, Regional WFWP leader, each gave heartfelt testimonies to Rev. Kim's guidance and love. Following the bestowal of gifts and a plaque to Rev. Kim, the emcee, Dr. James Baughman, introduced Rev. Pak.

In Rev. Pak's address, he gave inspiration to the members based upon three major themes of his leadership for the new year: (1) Inheritance and Demonstration of True Parents' Tradition; (2) Safe Settlement of True Parents and the Completed Testament Age; and (3) Establishment and Expansion of the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth.

At the close of the speech, Dr. Baughman presented Rev. Pak two symbols of the 1992 and 1993 foundation of the American Church. First was a plaque presented by True Mother to America commemorating the True Parents 57 city speaking tour, including Capitol Hill and the United Nations. Second was a very large volume commemorating the World Culture and Sport Festival, including the 30,000 Couple Blessing.

As the event closed, Rev. Kim and Rev. Pak greeted all members as they left the chapel. There was a very joyous atmosphere as we all set our souls in the direction of God's new dispensation.

Restoring Our Shelves

by Richard Van Loon--Falls Church, VA

"We need shelves," Keiko said with exasperation. ``I stack the clothes neatly - then the kids come and mess them up. Every time it's like that!"

I understood how my wife felt. The brick rambler we rented was too small and our three children managed to keep it in turmoil. Yet whenever we broached the topic of life in a pigpen, my fuse quickly sputtered to the keg. It wasn't just that I didn't like a junky house. Keiko and I wanted to live a more public life. But it wasn't easy having guests in our poorly furnished, overcrowded domain. It was a sore point for both of us.

This time I suppressed my frustration. I looked over her shoulder. Two beds stood against opposite walls. A homemade futon lay on the floor in between. Three chipped, mismatched chests of drawers lined the wall. And there, between the futon and the drawers, lay the scattered pile of clothing.

"All the wall space is taken," I said. "There's no place to put them."

But Keiko had an idea.

"Let's build shelves on top of the chests of drawers," she said.

We had built shelves in the day room. Varnished number-two pine boards fastened with screws. It was then Keiko had mentioned that she liked wooden furniture. I grew up in a home with practically nothing but, and I loved it. The fact that my wife did too had come as a happy surprise.

I had quickly invested in a sabre saw. Yet new wood for these bedroom shelves would be expensive. Anticipating this, Keiko suggested we restore some wooden shelves in the basement.

One of these shelves was made of untreated reddish wood. It had no top or bottom. We decided to use leftover pine to fill it out, then stain and varnish it. The other set of shelves would be more difficult. It was too large, would need to be dismantled, cut down to size, then rebuilt. It also had two coats of paint.

Keiko and I went to the paint store, picked out a stain and bought some paint stripper. Then I set to work.

I like working with wood. It reminds me of that Carpenter, Jesus. And when I work with my hands, my mind runs smooth and deep. Here it was, nearly the end of the first year of the Completed Testament Age. My thoughts turned to True Parents.

True Parents have been in our region a number of times. We've all seen or heard about Mother calling Father after each of her speeches, of their singing and laughing together. We've heard of how Father listens every time Mother gives her speech, following it line by line, the very speech Father himself wrote. What they are showing us is the perfect love between husband and wife.

My own parents had a rocky relationship. Being Catholic, they had never divorced, though I'm sure they had wanted to. I recalled a conversation between my older brother and me when we were teenagers.

We were talking about marriage and my brother had observed, quite pessimistically, that we would end up with wives like our mother and marriages like our parents'. At the time I was surprised to hear him say that. Over the years I have come to realize how true his theory was.

In my own marriage I have often reflected on my parents' relationship. What was it that drove them apart, what couldn't they overcome, what effect was their marriage having on mine? I knew as a parent I had often raised my children the way my parents had raised me. This phenomenon would even occur within one generation of our family. For example, if I would scold my eldest son for being irresponsible, he'd turn right around and scold his younger sister for being irresponsible, then she'd turn around and scold her young brother. It was automatic.

And then there were my wife's parents. What effects were carried over from them? As the transitional generation between the old and the new, what inborn limitations were we subconsciously clinging to?

Recently our pastor, Rev. McCarthy, has been talking about culture, about how it emanates from the relationship between a man and a woman. The old culture, founded by fallen Adam and Eve, is coming to an end, while the new culture, founded by True Parents, is just beginning. It is this very relationship between Father and Mother that is the core of God's providence, for it is here, in their union, where God abides. Our task is to link with our True Parents in such a way that we can inherit this new relationship between man and woman, between husband and wife. Only in this way will we be able to transcend the failed standards of the past and bring God down to earth.

I usually feel that doing God's will means conveying the truth. While this is true, I am realizing more and more lately that Tribal Messiahship begins with the person next to me. Without transcending the fallen standards of the past I have nothing to offer history, my children or my wife. Cooperating with her in building the shelves was, I felt, one small step in the right direction.

With this in mind, I devoted myself happily to the work. I cut the pine for the top and bottom, screwed them onto the first unit, then dismantled the second unit. I trimmed six inches off its height, cut it down from four to three feet wide, then put it back together.

I had never used paint stripper before. Being highly toxic, it is only meant to be applied outdoors. We were well into fall, though, and according to the label, it was too cold. So I opened the basement door and windows and worked downstairs. The fumes were too strong. After spreading the stripper on part of the shelves, I would leave the room. When the allotted 20 minutes had passed, I would return to scrape off the gook.

Finally the shelves were nearly done. Keiko pointed out the details that would make the difference between a rough, amateur job and a more polished, professional one. She pitched in rounding edges while I went after a few stubborn spots of paint, then applied the stain and varnish.

If you figured the man-hours involved, the shelves were not cheap. But their shiny, natural look added a new dimension of beauty and usefulness to our home. It's remarkable how much better the shelves looked after they'd been restored.

My next projects will be the chests of drawers, the kitchen cabinet doors and our coffee table. We need shelves in the prayer room, too.

There's a lot of work to do, but soon our home will be more suitable for guests. And hopefully the relationship between my wife and me will also be growing, deepening and improving.

Report on the 50,000 Japanese Sisters' Education on Cheju-Do Island

by Mr. Sano - Cheju Island, Korea

Cheju-Do is the largest island in South Korea, famous for luring thousands of honeymooners all year round.

However, even this famous travelers' spot is no exception as both Korea and neighboring Japan where the largest number of foreign visitors come from, suffer from a long period of economic recession. Despite a fresh appearance of recently reconstructed Cheju International Airport, the souvenir shop owners grieve over the poor sales results nowadays.

All of a sudden, this relatively quiet island was stirred up, as if being awakened from a sleep, when thousands of Japanese women started to flow into the airport every three days. With no doubt, having 50,000 Japanese visit within a short period of three months was a history-making for Cheju-Do island. But, considering the number, the people of island remained relatively cool, as they soon came to realize that Rev. Moon invited these people. By now, they also seem used to the fact that the things unusual for them is not necessarily so for Rev. Moon and the Unification Church.

From Oct. 6 to Dec. 22, the Japanese Woman's Leadership Training was held over 25 sessions at Cheju International Training Center. The center is located at the southern town of Namwon, the region where the mandarin oranges are exclusively produced and exported to the rest of Korea. The training center is attached to a factory that True Father built initially to help the farmers by buying the waste oranges and processing them into the orange extract. It took five years from 1988 for the building to be completed. During the `80s and `90s, Father frequently visited Cheju island for offering prayer with the providential significance.

Over 51,800 sisters ranging from 16 to 80 years of age attended the workshop. It was so special in that True Father himself was the direct organizer, inheriting the spirit of Alaska Workshop. In Aug. 1993, Father started the workshop in the Kodiak island of Alaska specially designed to educate Japanese sisters, as the world came to enter the woman's era. Cheju-Do symbolizes woman or mother's position within Korea, and because of this, Father has set up and blessed Cheju-Do as the second Japan into which Father has been refused to enter for the past 14 years till March 26 of 1992.

At the later part of the workshops, Father began to mention that Japan would ruin if we failed to bring in the minimum of 50,000 sisters into this providential workshop. Setting all other important works aside, Father literally poured 100% of his time and energy. "It is impossible for me to stay in Cheju for three months just to take care of you," said Father frequently. That much Father invested his love to raise Japan to a true mother position. The rise and the fall of Japan depended on the outcome of the training.

During substantial two days of period, Father spoke on the topics such as: "Let us find a True Self," "Let us go over the Hill of Indemnity," "The Four Great Realms of Heart and Three Great Kingships" and "The True Parents and Rebirth'' for seven to eight hours daily.

In support of True Father, Rev. Ken Sudo lectured to help the trainees get clearer insight of how Father's words relate to our conventional ideas of the Principle, while Rev. Hideo Oyamada spoke on how we should comprehend this new age from the viewpoint of Unification Thought and VOC. While Father was resurrecting the entire movement of Japan, True Mother traveled in her public tour, proclaiming "The True Parents and the Completed Testament Age." She spoke at 40 universities in Korea, and then continued through 40 nations around the world.

Father went hand in hand with True Mother by listening to every single speech being transmitted on the phone from another part of the world.

Although the four days were not every long time, for 50,000 sisters of every part of society to visit Korea within less than three months was never an easy matter. Many of them had to leave without full contentment of their husbands, largely due to the negative church images mounted by recent media offensive in Japan.

However, Father, in his speech, stressed how God's True Love could be implanted between husband and wife, touching on many intimate situations. It was clear that the sisters' hearts were tremendously liberated in listening to Father in whom God's vertical love and human horizontal love were in perfect harmony. There were dozens of testimonies that, seeing the wives whose heart became so open and resurrected, the husbands were also became inspired. It was truly another miracle of God's love, that there was no single marriage harmed in the wives' coming to the training.

Towards the end of the workshops, the number of participants swelled to 4,000 and more in a single session. Upon the completion of 50,000 woman's training, a new responsibility is being given to Japan to continue and expand the mission within the 163 nations of the world. Turning to the second year of the Completed Testament Age, another series of training started in Cheju-Do, primarily to prepare women as overseas missionaries and to stimulate the Tribal Messiah activities.

Remarks of Greeting and New Beginning

by Rev. Joong Hyun Pak--NYC

This is an excerpt from an address given on February 1, 1994 at the Leadership Transition Meeting, National Headquarters' Chapel.

Actually I received from Father special medicine. This medicine is bitter and hot and sour. Father told me to go back to North America. This is bitter and hot and sour, and I brought it with me for you. So let us swallow it together, you and me!

To assume this leadership position is a big challenge. In American English I like the word, "challenge". True Parents gave this hard word to us: It is the source of our blessing and our source of hope.

I joined 1957 and worked as a pioneer in high school. After several years in that life, I prepared to go to the university. I went to Father. Father so kindly welcomed me. Father said, "Mr. Pak how are you?" Then Father asked me to please enroll in the Unificationist university-a 40 day workshop. Of course, I obeyed Father. I was only a high school graduate, but I became a church leader.

I want to go to where no one has entered before, to an unexplored territory. I like missions such as pioneering a small island, owning no socks, no coat, a very small island. There one must completely mobilize the spiritual world. In 1963 I was witnessing in my hometown. I spoke out and witnessed in Korea until 1975. Then I spent five months as a missionary in Japan. I came to America after that, and then seven years ago went back to my hometown.

Father's most important educational mecca in Korea is my hometown Ch'onan. It is where Father established Seung Hwa University, on property which I found. Father then sent me back to New York, then to New Jersey. And now this is my third time to return to New York. It is very unusual for a member to be assigned to the same place three different times, don't you think?

What is the meaning of Completed Testament Age? It means that the power of Satan cannot attack us. Therefore if we really keep confidence and challenge Satan, we can liberate this world quickly. Father has great expectations for this great nation of America in 1994.

One by one, as brothers and sisters, please realize how you are important you are. Soon the world and history will recognize you. So, brothers and sisters, be courageous. To meet the challenge is the most important blessing for us.

Tonight I want to suggest three themes for 1994. We can do our activities under True Parents' motto, as a big umbrella.

(1) Inheritance and demonstration of True Parents' tradition. This is to inherit True Parents' love, life and lineage. This is complete sanctification of our lives. It is the Messiah's most important duty and mission, and God's heartfelt hope. This is the goal of Father's tears, sweat and blood. In the Bible also we find this teaching. In Matt. 22:37-39, Jesus Christ gave two commandments: love God and love all people. The vertical love for God harmonizes with the horizontal love for mankind. True Parents are practicing this. He has liberated 160 nations. He blessed brothers and sisters of all races and nations, based upon the hard work of our missionaries in 160 nations.

We inherited pure lineage from God, through True Parents' blessing, and in 1995 many hundreds of thousands of people are waiting to be blessed. Tribal Messiahship means tribal level true love. Tribal messiahship means that we become small messiahs. The Unification Church is like a factory of messiahs

Brothers and sisters, I want to suggest that if you have time, please see the movie, "Schindler's List." Schindler is really a type of the messiah. He was an evil man, but he recognized the dividing line between good and evil, and gradually moved to God's side. Finally he sacrificed his wealth and status to save hundreds of people. He was really like a Tribal Messiah.

Mother spoke 187 times around the world last year. 87 of those speeches were in America. We should be happy about this accomplishment for True Parents. We became filial children to True Parents last year.

I suggest we really become joymakers. How do we make joy? Joy is our response, our reaction upon receiving God's True Love.

We cannot see love; we cannot see God. But we know they are real. Every newspaper has so much bad news. However, Unificationist can find joy and happiness because we know God's hidden providence, which is being opened up day by day around the world.

St. Paul said, "Peace, righteousness and joy." Paul was in prison in Rome, but he witnessed and wrote epistles to so many churches. While in the depths of prison, Paul wrote letters of joy and inspiration. So, we should rejoice, always rejoice.

Who is Jesus Christ? He is a man of God, a man of true parental heart. St. Paul had true love. He had the right direction, and found joy in life, even in the underground prison. That was 2,000 years ago. We still have the same joyful life, smiling life, full of happiness. Amen.

Let us make New York City, America and North America a world of joy. So, the first theme is inheritance and demonstration of True Parents' tradition. This means that we become men and women of God. Based upon that, we can be shepherds of God and Tribal Messiahs. This is to fulfill our witnessing mission to our families and clans, in our Cain hometown and Abel hometown. We maintain the honor of being children of True Parents, with heavenly pride, not in our own selves, but in Father and Father's inheritance to us. This means we practice righteousness, make peace and create joy.

Then automatically we are fulfilling the second theme of this year, which is True Parents' motto: (2) Safe Settlement of True Parents and the Completed Testament Age. By our mind and body unity, we make the safe settlement of God and True Parents in my own heart and mind. By husband and wife unity, God and True Parents can settle in my family. By unity of our blessed families, God can settle safely in our city of New York and nation of America.

Then we can bring about the third theme of this year, (3) Establishment and Expansion of Kingdom of God on Earth. Father has already made the foundation, through so many years of hard work in this foreign land of America. For his own sake? No, for the sake of America itself, because America is the representative Christian nation to restore this world. It is our responsibility to take what Father has established and expand it, to build the Kingdom of God on earth. So many great things are happening, brothers and sisters. Please maintain your faith, hope and true love.

I deeply appreciate Rev. Zin Moon Kim. He really separated from his family for a long time. He sleeps on the floor. He gave righteous advice, very correct advice, and he successfully completed his mission. With this kind of foundation I can work with you here in New York and in America. God bless you.

Prayer

From an interview with Dr. Don Sills, Vienna, VA 
Articles from Heartwing Magazine

Dr. Sills, among many other things, is a Baptist minister and Chaplain of the World Conference of Mayors. Here he talks about his prayer life.

I want to hear Him and have Him know more about me. We have a Conversation - He can speak to my heart and I can know we've got a good conversation going. It's helpful to read His manual. I want to know Him - not just what He's created. When I look at a butterfly, I don't think of the butterfly, but of why He would have created the butterfly.

I want to have that personal relationship. Many take God off His throne and make Him a buddy-buddy, but I feel we have to maintain His sovereignty and majesty. We too often make God a servant with a shopping list kind of prayer. Prayer is intimate conversation. It's like talking with my wife - I want to know HER better. I'm fascinated by what she does but I want to know what's inside - her heart, feelings, and motives. God desires intimacy too. Many people keep saying Lord, or Heavenly Father over and over, but when you talk to your spouse, you don't keep repeating his/her name. Many don't have an intimate relationship with God - or with their family. They don't touch or hug or make themselves vulnerable. As far as intercessory prayer - it's again like conversation with my wife. Someone comes to mind and I may ask how they are doing, what do they need, how can we help. "Lord, thank You for bringing that person to my mind. I ask that You be with them and help them.''

There are as many different prayers as there are conversations.

Portable Prayer Book

Contributed by Gillian Corcoran, Houston, TX 
Articles from Heartwing Magazine

I wanted to share this idea with you as I've found it so useful in my life. In a "brag book" or other small photo album I put the names of all the different people I'm praying for, with different categories on different pages, e.g., family and relatives, home church contacts, potential spiritual children (put this at the end as we're hopefully always adding to this), etc. I include a few photos too, e.g., one of True Parents at the front with the names of the True Family, my existing spiritual children, their spouses and children.

The "resting place" for this handy little book is in the bathroom. Then every time I have a few minutes to sit, without children or any other intrusions, I pick up my book and pray for people. I now really value my trips to the smallest room! Plus if you go away for a weekend or something, it's easy to take along with you.

I find it a much more effective way to send loving, healing, supporting prayers to these people than trying to pray for them all at once at the end of a long and busy day! (I'm sure we've all experienced those half asleep, half-awake prayers when seven minutes somehow turns into 21 through sleepiness!)